Why Do People with Dementia Lie

Why do people with dementia lie? This might be one of the most confusing and frustrating behaviors for caregivers, but what if I told you…it’s not really lying? 🧠💡 In this video, we dive deep into the brain changes caused by dementia and explain why your loved one may not be telling the truth—even though they believe they are. Understanding this can change your caregiving experience and help you approach these moments with compassion and patience.

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📜 DISCLAIMER: The content of this video - or any content by Dementia Careblazers - does not replace the need for healthcare professionals. Our content is not healthcare advice and is not a substitute for your own healthcare. It is for general education only. Do not use this content to self-diagnose or self-treat any health, medical, or physical condition. By consuming content from Dementia Careblazers, you agree to hold harmless and indemnify Dementia Careblazers LLC for any and all losses, injuries, or damages resulting from any and all claims that arise from your use or misuse of this content. All content or recommendations on the company’s website, social media, blog, or email series. All comments from Dementia Careblazers’ are expressions of opinion only.
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👩‍🔬 I'm Dr. Natali Edmonds, a board-certified geropsychologist. (A clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults.) One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
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It’s our mission to make dementia caregiving easier for families caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease, frontotemporal dementia, lewy body dementia, vascular dementia, or any other type of dementia. We believe that in order to create a more dementia friendly world, we must first create a caregiver friendly world. That's why we create free educational training videos like this one so that anyone with an internet connection can get access to dementia care information.

[DementiaCareblazers]

Explore our Care Collective for personalized support, live Q&As with dementia experts, and a supportive caregiver community:

[BrendaJBarNett]

Everday i need to rewatch this, because it is a continuous struggle.

[daw]

Excellent video. I am grateful to you for your sagacious direction. Currently I am reading “Floating in the Deep End” by Patti Davis. She also wrote another book “The Long Goodbye”. I will read that too. I am open to learning how to be a mindful, understanding, supportive and loving caregiver. My mother has been such a splendid and healthy example of womanhood throughout my life. My father was so fortunate to have married such a gem, but he is gone now and he requested that I care for her. I just never thought the care would be for dementia. My endgame goal is to remain healthy throughout this sojourn while maintaining a healthy marriage. Boy, what a challenge.

[suzanneedmonds]

A point to remember is that for the person with dementia often what they are saying is their reality and we need to acknowledge that rather than correct them.

[caroljones]

I needed to hear this. I know I'm not supposed to argue back, but it is so hard. Thanks for sharing these informative videos each week, Dr. Natalie

[elisabethm]

100% great advice. My husband finished his dementia journey almost three years ago and this channel was a great resource back when he was still with me. Yes, it’s not lying and I think the most important thing to remember (for both you and your loved one, because you are their memory) is to create a kind and loving present tense in both your lives. This will create for yourself a future when this chapter is over, that has minimum regrets and pleasant memories of your own. And now, when it is challenging, you create a positive environment for everyone by accepting and redirecting with joy all the good things that life still has to offer.

[Kumiola]

Thank you❤I am grateful for this channel. I didn't know how to approach my mother when she lies sometimes, until I watched this video. Now I can accept her reality, and show compassion instead of correcting her and also remind my siblings.

[yvonnejackson]

This is especially difficult when someone “lies” about things that could put their life in danger—I can drive, cook, go for a walk, handle money, etc. I lived in constant fear my mother would try something like this while I slept or was otherwise occupied.

[nigelwylie]

Reasons:
0:54 Dementia often affects memory
1:21 Confabulation
1:44 Anosignosia
2:13 Self preservation & emotional needs
2:36 Altered Perception of reality
3:11 What not to do
3:32 What to do

[alfredobagonghasa]

I truly appreciate this reminder and I Thank you that this message came to my attention. I have been struggling with this with my mom, I often feel she’s been playing the victim and literally using the Dimentia card… ending up with me and her arguing. Thank you again now it gave me a window of understanding I will definitely try harder to not be triggered when she says something that’s obviously not true. May God Bless you more with success so your thoughts and messages reach more people in need 🙏

[kumabear]

This couldn’t have come at a better time. Except, my mother has ALWAYS had trouble with “confabulation “. It’s just getting worse. It’s gotten to the point where it’s hard to have a conversation with her without her bringing up “fantastical” situations and stories that never happened. I have to be with her for most of the day. She is not allowed to have a phone because of calling 911 and making false reports ( the last one involved her claiming that one of my brothers was holding a firearm to the head of another brother, neither has a firearm to his name in reality, she lost her phone privileges that night.). I do her shopping, fix her food, Do her laundry And I have a phone in case of emergencies. The hardest part is not being able to reassure her that “fantastical things” that she conjures in her head are not real. I can’t, as her grown child, reassure her like a parent does a child, that her nightmares are not real. Also, I worry that I will go through the same thing at that age ( she’s 81). I’d rather not😢

[janstanley]

Thank you for sharing this! You have spoken about much of this before and I have heard it but I need to be continually reminded about it! I hate to be lied to or deceived and I get so angry with my mom sometimes. Afterwords I feel guilty and ashamed. Trying to get this deep inside of me so I don’t take it personally and say hurtful things. 😢

[csillaczako]

Everyday I have to remind myself it's not their fault, they don't know what they are doing. Just accept it is what it is and stay stuck with your life.

[amymasi]

My mom does all of this and more. The confabulation has become extremely detailed false memories, often traumatic, and 1000% not true. She gets angry with me when I can’t remember these “memories”, claiming I was there or that I told her about them, and then berates me for breaking up the family because I am unwilling to arrange funerals or I won’t let her call the “surviving relatives” to talk them. I empathize, hold space, acknowledge the emotion associated with what she “remembers”, I repeat back what she says, then she flips a switch and takes the opposite viewpoint and will argue with me more. It’s like she just wants to fight with me and I am at a loss for how to manage it.

[Woofers]

Thank you! 🥰 Unfortunately, for me, the really hard part is that my mother has ALWAYS done this.. Even Years before her diagnosis. 😢She never talked about her feelings etc and always told everyone "I'm fine, things are good" among other "little fibs" now it's just more prevalent. It definitely does get frustrating at times😤.

[RhondaKW]

Thank you for this video! My mom had a mini stroke in 2013 and her short term memory was affected. I was informed this day would come and it has. My mom is currently 73 years old. I always thought she would dream about things and then ask me what time are we going to my nephew’s house for the birthday party. I honestly don’t know how to answer those questions because I feel like anything I say she is going to get mad about it. I have learned not to say she must have dreamed it because there isn’t a birthday party scheduled. I guess I could tell her it has been postponed. Also, I have been trying really hard to redirect but I don’t seem to think fast enough on my feet to come up with something to redirect to.

[kristirose]

I think your prior relationship and their pre-dementia personality play a role here. I went through this with my father in law, mother in law and now my husband. My father in law was always so sweet and his fabrications during dementia were so wild and fantastical it was pure entertainment. My MIL, however, had always been deceitful so when she started telling untruths it felt more manipulative and it was harder to push aside her past behavior. My husband has started telling untruths, but he has never been someone who lies. That makes it easier to see that this is something he believes really happened, even when I know it didn’t.

[LindaOdlum]

You hit on everything I’m experiencing with my Mother.. looks like I’m doing the right thing by listening and redirecting when possible. Patience is key always. Thanks for this information!

[ScarlettRose]

Thoroughly exhausting though sometimes I can look at it as entertainment on a budget and just play along. 🤣🤪❤️

[emilyhope]

The confabulation is happening with my Mom. I am so stressed out. I'm her only child and My Dad died when I was 17. She has yet to be properly diagnosed. This is so hard