Is ONLINE DATING Keeping You Single? | Matthew Hussey

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Couples who meet online have a higher divorce rate?

According to an article Jameson shared with me, a recent study found a 12% divorce rate within the first three years of marriage among couples who met online, compared with a 2% divorce rate in those who met through friends.

The takeaways from today’s new video will provide the tools you need to boost your odds of staying together, no matter how you got together. (We also answer some less serious questions like why my mum didn’t want to meet my girlfriends for a while, and whether or not Stephen could live on a farm.)

I’d love it if you left me a comment after you check it out.

Your coach,

Matthew x

P.S. Be sure to stay until the end of the video to find out about something extra special happening for your love life this month (and make sure to mark your calendar for November 16th).

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[sarahventura]

Maybe it’s because couples who met through friends often started off as friends, and built a stronger platonic foundation first. It’s hard when you meet on a dating app, because it’s meeting people with ‘an agenda’. There’s much pressure from day one.

[tabbee]

I think online dating gives one a sense of having so many options, that some are less willing to work through problems and just break up once the "Honeymoon" period has ended. Also, in conjunction with your social support theory, if you date a friend of a friend, your friend(s) will help you to understand your S.O. when problems arise. When your friends feel no loyalty to your S.O., they will be more willing to paint your S.O. as the culprit for any relationship difficulties rather than provide counsel that is empathetic to both parties.

[khoney]

I deleted my dating profile after only one date. Not because of the date so much but the realization that the person you meet is an absolute stranger who can say good things but there is no proof of their words via time spent noticing their behavior/actions, and you can’t just meet the person without the pressure of “we are supposed to be pair bonding”. I simply hate that pressure and refuse to jump in with a person I do not know at all. And I think the guys just want to move quickly. Sometimes you don’t know a person even after years of being around them! So it has to happen organically for me if it’s going to happen at all.

[lidya]

I totally agree. I've met a lot of amazing guys online in the past years and went on many great first dates, however it always felt like 'it's been fun, let's see what else is out there'. I know I can meet men easily online but I don't want to do this anymore. Deleting my dating profiles was the best decision I've made last year.

[somewhereoverit]

When I broke up with my ex fiance, it was harder breaking up with his family and relatives than him ironically. His family members treated me better than my own family and even checked in on me after we broke up. I still think they are all wonderful people.

[km]

I think this information is great and true at its base but difficult to apply to typical dating these days. Most of us would love to meet someone IRL but most of us end up having to date online. It’s not ideal and in my experience comes with immediate distance and skepticism on both sides. You’d be lucky these days to get from initial dating to exclusivity, let alone meeting friends. 🤷‍♀️ I haven’t given up but I’m exhausted.

[Bohorockerchic]

Additionally if you have the same friends and family as well as live in the same community, there's a sense of accountability for your actions because if you hurt somebody or go somebody or treat them poorly it will get back to the community and your own family. That is why I feel there's so much dysfunction within online dating because people have no accountability and their own families are not aware of their horrible actions and or the community is unaware so they continuously can act in harmful and dysfunctional ways to others and never be held accountable

[AugustAdvice]

I think its actually about risk and reward. If you meet someone online, subconsciously you think it was easy to find them as opposed to the "chance happening" of meeting someone out and about in real life. One is easy, the other is not. It creates a false sense of over-abundance instead of a scarcity mindset. "Oh, I found them easily online, I can replace them just as easily." As opposed to "We randomly met at a coffee shop standing in line when I was about to go to work and he was just about to leave the cafe, we could have missed each other mere seconds later had we not met at that specific time."

[LouisaWatt]

As someone twice-divorced within the first 3 years both times: I’m statistically improbable… both exes were introduced by friends.
To answer the inevitable questions: yes, I’m the common denominator and yes I had terrible friends. I’ve been working on both of those things.
The sorts of people you’re willing to put up with and the treatment you accept needs to change before you ever consider marriage. Make sure you’re pursuing your own fulfilment and not listening to people who tell you you’re a waste of space without a partner.

[smartkookie]

Makes sense to me because people online lie a lot. From the pictures that are posted all the way to their true identity. People gain some form of confidence online that they wouldn't usually have and are more prone to be dishonest in my opinion.

[dhonthesavour]

I feel like people in any relationship need to learn how to love themselves …people are looking to get loved by others when they haven’t fixed their trauma and compromise is important ❤️❤️ love yourself go to therapy get help and fall in love with yourself

[louisabah]

It's crazy but sometimes meeting ur soul mate online can last forever.
Met my fiance online.
Nice topic though 💝💝💝😍

[maholidiaz]

I got divorced after 3 years (5 together) after meeting on Tinder. It was a lovely story at the beginning but definitely affects the relationship specially if the beginning is long distance. I’d just say take it slow and actually spend time together in person after committing to getting married. Every mistake is a future success 🥰

[ChristianaSenibo]

Absolutely right! Having a good support system is important in helping a relationship thrive. And the emphasis is on 'good'. They help you get a better perspective on situations and also can be a positive influence.

[hellybelle]

I met my husband online 🥰 He is from the Philippines, but is an American citizen (Dad was an American, his mother is a Filipina) and I'm English (North Eastern/North Yorkshire) we met online, got married in the USA, and that's where we live. We just celebrated our 16 wedding anniversary 🥰
I think the most important things are Forgiveness
A good sense of humour
Acceptance/enjoyment of differences
Creating your life together, and not being overly concerned with what other people are doing.
I could go on 😊

[CandaceLeAnne]

I saw this article too and was immediately drawn to it. Matthew your read on the underlying issue was pretty sound. I initially thought the trouble could be that online daters start with this unearned CONVENIENCE factor, this low stakes access to someone. Little social effort has to go in to either getting noticed or noticing someone and making a first move, other than an inviting picture and a well written paragraph. Maybe those low level stakes combined with, lower losses upon breaking up, little shared social accountability and obsessive or perverted tech habits is a real recipe for disaster. I don’t think it’s just one thing and I have experienced that meeting online quickly opens you up to a larger avalanche of issues that can and will creep in (such as outright lying, having unrealistic agendas, or just piggish sexual hunting and gaslighting behavior.)

[GuidetteExpert]

Two of my friends and many acquaintances met online have been together in 7 years + and had kids today.

[rockymountainskies]

The premise that the main difference between the two groups is the investment in joint social relationships misses a HUGE potential hypothesis. Could it be that people as a whole like to surround themselves with others that are similar in age, temperament, socioeconomic status, education, interests, etc. So a friend introducing you to someone they know and like would in theory be someone who is similar to yourself which would increase the potential for long term compatability. Just a suggestion that highlights the fact that there may be other valid reasons and the conclusion of the study should be taken with a grain of salt.

[natalieaxl]

My experience with social media dating was too Toxic!! Maybe I am old school or dreamer, I believe in organic and real love connection 🙏♓🥰

[smooth]

In my marriage, my ex-husband started dating online while we were still married. His new girlfriend and him had a horrible breakup. He had never been dumped or cheated on before.