The True Origins of the Whale Probe, and Other Star Trek Secrets

They told me I was crazy, but I have seen the truth. The universe is balanced on the back of a giant humpback whale. Why is she singing? What does she know?

Music Credits:
Airport Lounge by Kevin MacLeod
Backbay Lounge by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

[ALMGHTY.PEANUT]

It's a shame Spock didn't communicate with Gracie again to ask WTF was up with the probe.

[mattem]

This is absolutely incredible. I want this set as hard canon. THIS is the insane crossover we deserve.

[CrniWuk]

Spock : Wtf was that probe about?
Whale : Extended car warranty.

[GraysonGranda]

Ok, so when this started I just thought it was fuckin wild.

Now I think it is both wild and entirely plausible.

Congratulations.

[badvertised]

Oh so _that's_ why the Q catch the Enterprise in a big fishing net in Encounter at Farpoint: poetic justice.

[jackweiss]

The whale probes better be the cause of the burn

[Sekhubara]

I just realised... Oamuamua was a whale probe!

[MrDiggityaus]

I always thought that the whales were somehow responsible for the probe, and the probe was like a communication device between the whales on earth and the whales elsewhere in space.

[handofzarquon]

but what color socks do the gormunganders wear

[puterwizjake]

Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was "Oh no, not again." Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.

[Stephen_The_Waxing_Lyricist]

And when the whales do leave...

"So long, and would it have hurt you to let us have the fish?"

[mattlawler]

There was a book titled “Probe” that is supposed to explain where the whale probe came from. I never got a chance to read it though.

[misinformedmarti]

I love this. It is complete nonsense about a nonsense plot, but I love this.

[jesusmora]

I'll make you one better:
the q are not real, picard is just senile.

[barry_gooch_baked]

You actually see a brief clip of a kinda half manta ray half whale looking creature in the “vision” sequence when they make the first time jump.

[kargaroc]

This is simultaneously idiocy and absolute genius.

[thomasblunt]

The probe was like "Oh no, not again."

[arthur]

I wanted to say something about how Q once said that the Q had always existed since the beginning of time itself, but it seems that might not be as clear as it sounds:
this is from memory alpha:
" The exact circumstances of how the Q came to exist was unclear. While Quinn stated that the Q were once not unlike humanoid lifeforms, Q implied that the Q never came into existence, but rather always were. (VOY: "The Q and the Grey") "

Since we all know that everything that happens and is told in star trek is Cannon, the only possible explanation for all of this is:
The sperm whale started on earth,
they then evolved into gormaganders which allowed them to fly into space,
since being a whale in space can be quite boring(Lack of hands etc.) they decided to evolve the ability to turn into the ancient humanoid's of TNG's the chase.
you might think that being able to turn into a gormagander whenever you feel like it is a great party trick, since they all had this ability it got old fast, and so they decided to mix their own DNA with random animals they found the galaxy to make some inferior beings that were able to appreciate their abilitys (that's why they were called sperm whales; foreshadowing).
this is why they eventually founded the "Cirque de Domain", a circus with which they toured through the galaxy showing off their shapeshifting skills, and showed off their trained Vorta-monkeys and "The incredible Beast of Jem'Hadar".
But one by one the inferior humanoid started to ban the use of animals in circuses, the Founders even tried genetically engineering the animals into being able to give consent, but the inferior humanoids claimed that being genetically engineered to follow your master's every word is not the same as consent.
because the founders were no longer allowed to put on circus shows, they all got very depressed and melted into a literal puddle.
until one day they decided to conquer the entire galaxy to abolish it's anti-circus laws.
they did a great job until one day some dude named sisko locked them up in a wormhole, where they remained for the rest of existence...
because the founders would now be locked away in the wormhole forever and never perform their circus tricks ever again, they started to hate their lives.
over the years they found ways to manipulate the world outside of the wormhole and planned their revenge.
They send someone back into the regular world and give birth to Benjamin Sisko, giving him the worst punishment possible: life.
but then they found out Sisko had a son and a wife and had a wonderful life, so they decided to throw him into the pit of hell instead.
after this they stayed in the wormhole, until eventually the universe ended, and they were free at last.
after the universe ended it was replaced by the exact same one.
the now had access to shape-shifting powers, timetravel powers, and general-godlike powers and became known as the 'Q'.

oh and also, sisko's mom is still around but she has the kinda thing like when white people say that all Asians look the same but with humans instead.
that's why she calls the humans a brutal savage child race.
sisko's mom is John de Lancie's Q.
this makes that scene where Q lays in bed with picard kinda weird, because she still thinks picard is sisko.



or atleast that's my Headcanon

[Tedinator]

Let’s not forget, “So long and thanks for all the fish.”

[Sindraug]

The whale probe came because contact with the whales was lost, so the time it arrived from the time it was sent would have been well short of 300 years. Also, I don't have an exact quote or episode number at the ready, but I'm pretty sure Q at one point said the Continuum has been around for billions of years.