Why You're Behind in Life | Viewer Interview

▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00:00 Intro
00:00:24 Falling Behind in Life
00:20:10 How Our Mind Fools Us
00:28:07 Comparison and Shame
00:38:00 Forget the Meta
00:56:40 Feeling Behind When Playing the Game
01:12:45 Cultivating Compassion
01:26:53 Falling Behind in Relationships?
01:32:36 Meditation Advice
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DISCLAIMER
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All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.

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#University #Success #Failing

[Merk]

"I'm 38, and I want to be a professional DOTA player, but I wasted the last 15 years becoming a doctor" is S Tier "Dr. K Out of Context" material

[its_eis]

these people letting us see their sessions are freaking heroes

[Bandstand]

Falling behind was *essential* for my growth in my 20’s. So grateful I didn’t have everything figured out at 22. I’m going into my 30’s a superhero

[GuRuGeorge]

at age 25 i was living in my mom's basement, no job, no degree, depression, extremely bad skin from my disease that i didn't go to the doctor for even though I knew I should, bad hair, back pain from not doing any sports, drinking alcohol excessively, no motivation to get a job and many other things. Now im 29, I love my job, live in a nice flat, im regularly doing sports for 2 years now, have very good friends, a degree, my skin is cared for, i learned how to cut my own hair, depression gone and life in general is just amazing. Never underestimate time and luck

[followedbyhash]

JT's laugh and smile is super infectious. Clearly a clever chap, wish him well in his endeavour!

[ericshiel]

As a 25-year-old in his third year of undergraduate college, this interview really hits home for me and has a special place in my heart.

[ACloudWithoutAir]

You are not alone. The world sucks. Being 24 and burnt out from trying to be successful is tiring and exhausting from failing so many times and stumbling. Success does not equate happiness. Happiness is intangible, its abstract and vague. What is important is to remain mentally stable and work on what is crucial for you as an individual. You must learn to ignore your culture's judgement examining you and focus on your personal development. Success lacks a purpose because it could be for many superficial reasons, success is to please the world, not you. Passions and creativity, smiles and friendships, quality time spent is what pleases you. Success is just the obstacle you must work with to get to those things.

[robertwinslade]

Almost afraid to watch this one because the title alone tells me it's gonna hit close to home for me. I chose to study the wrong subject at university (in fact I would say university in general did not suit me), and was completely in denial of that fact for far too long because I was afraid of failure. I got to the final year of my degree and had to drop out due to depression and anxiety, took 2 years out working a dead-end job I hated then forced myself to try and go back to university to complete the degree because I only had one more year to do so and I hated the idea of percieving myself as having failed even though deep down I knew it wasn't for me. Inevitably I ended up dropping out again, at around the same point in the year for the same reasons, right at the start of Covid lockdown. I've spent much of the last year feeling suicidal. I'm 25 and I feel as though the last 7 years of my life may as well have never happened, I'm so far behind where I want to be in life and have no idea how to even begin picking up the pieces and moving on

[DeviNde]

I am going to be 41 when I finaly become a psychological therapist. Now I'm 33. I had to go back to school first for three years to finish what we call Abitur here in Germany. Now I just started University.

[heathermason]

There needs to be "nerd" psychologists in IRL, the nerd world is so different in terms of what stresses us out and what motivates us. Damn near every interview Dr. K has had, man, woman, professional streamer or random viewer has been relevant to me in a way I couldn't express to my therapist without her being confused or frustrated.

[Hekinsieden]

Young People always think time is short and they are through most of their lives. Y'all wanna burn too fast. I'm 32 and just now starting to realize the career I might want in Baking.

[vinsonhan]

We need more interviews like this. JT has clearly put in the hard work by himself. Need more people who are in mid-progression of the game.

[MyMrdoodoo]

Hi JT, If you see this, I want to let you know that I watched this video 2 years ago, in the same situation as you. This vid was really inspiring. This was after failing an entire semester due to video game addiction, losing financial aid, taking a gap semester and transferring to a community college. I was crippled by the shame of falling behind and lying to my family about my school performance. I was barely passing my classes in community college, falling into the same old habits, still crippled by shame, low self esteem, fear of the future. And I was still in college after all my friends graduated. But somewhere along the way I started watching Dr. K, adopting better habits. Then this video came out and your experience was incredibly relatable. I started studying hard, working a part time job, exercising and meditating. As of today I have graduated college with a 3.9 GPA (the GPA reset after switching schools!) and working full time remote as a software engineer. I hope that 2 years later you're in a better spot. You were very courageous to come on and do this interview, I would never have been able to do it!

[stevenlomon]

I relate so fucking hard to this. I'm 25 and I let so many things I haven't done by this point as well my mental health issues worsen my self-worth. Looking forward to watching this one

[Warcrafter]

I was in the same place. I was broken, waiting to get fixed. But Dr. K. is right, you can't wait for the feelings to do. You have to DO and the feelings will follow. For me that was asking out a girl I had had a crush on. I was just hoping that something would just happen upon me, but I had to just go and do it. Eventually the fear of being alone pushed me out, that and my trust in God.
I was upset that I had missed a great opportunity when my depression hit and I had to leave college five and a half years ago (I'm 25 now). I spent a long time being in the mud, FEELING to depressed to actually change my situation. But in reality, while that door had been closed to me, I found the love of my life, my soulmate. That would not have happened if i had not dropped out of college. Similarly, she would not have found me if certain bad things hadn't happened to her.
So, in short, do not despair if you start to fall behind; only this year have I gotten my driver's license, and a job, and a wife. Just remember to not give up, and look for new opportunities that are caused by your past failures!

[JournalingWithNadia]

feeling behind and feeling like anything I do isn't enough is a constant feeling for me recently too... My mantra has been "I'm exactly where I need to be right now" and I also like to remind myself or Rupi Kaur's poem "I will never have this version of me again. Let me slow down and be with her."

It's been helping me refocus to the present and feeling enough, so I hope this can help someone too 💜

[REChronic]

Damn doc, you've done it again. You've posted something that I needed right now. I'm 23 and all my friends have gotten stable jobs, or married, or at least know what to do. I'm a very anxious person so i feel like im struggling due to societal pressures and the fact that I've let my anxiety rule me. I really need some positive reinforcement to tell me to keep going.

[Linny]

I feel like a lot of the anxiety and pressure he's expressing is relevant to anyone in East Asia, whether China, South Korea, Japan, Vietnam, Malaysia, Singapore, etc.

They have all been conditioned from a young to apply these social pressures to become financially successful and when they have yet to achieve such goals at a young age (20s), they feel like they've failed.

[francescaclarise]

I'm only 22, and I could definitely start to feel this. Specially now that I'm starting to apply for jobs, and scholarships for graduate schools. And when I look at my resume, and see almost nothing written on it, it just makes me feel sad that the world works this way, and that institutions judge us based on a sheet of paper.

Like the things that I have accomplished internally, the internal struggles that I have conquered, and the emotional growth I have gone through are the achievements that I am most proud of, but unfortunately are not the achievements that you could put in a resume.

[Ouaueaio]

I share the same feeling about the "falling behind" thing. It's the thing that sorta keeps me going but at the same time it feels like a plague.