When She's Unresponsive After The First Date

It can be very confusing after you had an incredible first date with a girl that you really like, but now she's unresponsive & not replying to your texts or calls. It leaves many men wondering if they should chase her a little more, or just chalk it up to her being not interested.

In this Coaching Video a viewer writes in asking what he should do after having a great first date with an old crush. I give him some tips on where he should be careful & what he should now since she never responded to his texts the next day, after the date. #FirstDate #Ghosted #DatingTips #LostInterest #Unresponsive
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I'm Erik Peterson, a men's relationship & dating coach, and at Skill of Attraction I provide dating tips & relationship advice, mainly for men, to help facilitate growing & maintaining attraction in their romantic life to where it's fun, loving & relatively effortless.

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These other videos of mine may help --

"Ghosted After A Date":

"She's Not Responding To My Texts":

"Focus Only On Women Who Like You":

"You Must See Yourself As The Prize":

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[ryguy]

Make this out into a positive situation, you were able to take a beautiful woman out on a date and have a great conversation with her for hours. You learnt to build chemistry with a woman and have a good time together. Don't be so focused on this one girl or it will show that you haven't had a date in years and she is the best possible option you could ever get. Not every good date you go on will lead into something, but the skills and ability to hook one of these woman will increase in the future. Chin up!! Hope all goes well with her, but don't be so down on yourself if it doesn't.

[theguynextdoor]

The reasons why she pulls away could be many. I think the most important thing is to not dwell too much about the core reasons. She is pulling away/is unresponsive, and that's the fact we need to face. If we have communicated with a person for a while, and they suddenly pull away/act unresponsive, our separation anxiety kicks inn and our instant reaction is to try and close that gap. It could be something as simple as things happening in her life that need first priority, or there could be that things are moving too fast. Women sometimes hit the breaks if she is not comfy with the pace things are moving. Guys, remember this: You don't want a woman that does not want you. It's your separation anxiety that makes you do stupid, clingy, and needy things. After some days the initial shock of not having her attention will pass. Don't be afraid to walk away from things that don't serve you well. You're not scared of losing her, you're scared of facing the initial separation anxiety. That is why it's crucial to not put all of our eggs into one basket at first. When you have options, the anxiety won't be as strong. When you met the girl who knocks your socks off, your personalities match and she gives you the green light to get exclusive. Then the other girls have to go. But not before. If she comes back after some space, fine, and if not that is also ok.

[eligreg]

Always stings when someone leaves you on read after the first meet up. Especially when you guys were so consistent through texts and calls. It really hurts especially when you felt like the meet up was going well

[walterm]

It really does sting if she loses interest after a first date.

[nolagospeltracts]

I think this cat blew it. Eight hours is way too long to spend with a woman on a first date. You should leave them wanting more. And that sappy thank you note afterwards.

[fidjffurruduhhfr]

After passed many date, both sucess and fail. I really dont care if it work or not. As long as u on the way of self improvement, take care of your body, improve game, self emotional control. Because deep down, u know it so many fish in the sea, and it her lost.

But it need many pratice to come to this mentality. Live and learn.

[vladyslavtrofimov]

She knows she has you, so no more excitement for her trying to get to know you. It takes girl awhile to build attraction for a man with a lot of feelings building overtime. For a guy it takes a moment.

[callumwalker]

I matched with this girl on Hinge during the pandemic in Britain. We’ve been talking a month, I wanted to get her out quickly, but I was patient and waited until she was comfortable. So we began using voice notes and had a phone call and we agreed to meet last weekend.

Bearing in mind that she didn’t stop laughing on the phone or when we’ve been texting, we have also been flirting and teasing each other, making the interactions fun. So, we finally met, I took the train and she met me at the station in her car. Immediately I went for the physical so I said “come on let’s have a hug”.

We went for a good walk where we talked about life in general and I teased her a lot e.g. she knew the area, but one of the paths was incredibly muddy so I said “if it’s really bad I know who to blame”. She didn’t stop laughing at the things I was saying.

We went to the store to buy ingredients to cook that night and even that was fun. I made sure I led the way, taking the basket etc. We went back to hers where I cooked a spaghetti Bolognese and where we teased each other and it just genuinely felt like we knew each other already.

I went for the kiss, rubbed her nose before and gave her a quick kiss but she seemed shocked and went red so I pulled back. We ate dinner where she found out I liked country and she seemed really into it plus she didn’t stop asking me questions, had a game of scrabble where the banter was flying about how bad the other’s words were. We were making references about future plans. She said something like “well next time I’ll use my dictionary”. Anyway, I kept putting my leg on hers, initiating touch.

She took me to the station and before I left, we shared a few kisses where both of us leaned in. She even touched my chest saying “you’re really warm”. I thought bingo. Got home, sent her a jokey message about her car because she’s got her own personalized number plate and then I said “I enjoyed myself today, especially winning at Scrabble with a gooseberry gin” to which she replied “Gooseberry gin was good, Scrabble hmmm…Company wasn’t bad though” with a smiley, cheeks blushing emoji.

I replied “10/10 choice by me getting the gooseberry, bet you were sole destroyed at losing”. She’s a shoemaker so I always shoe puns with her to tease. But, she hasn’t replied. She did say she was meeting her friends the day after, but she read my message at 8:30am and was online for most of the day and I didn't get a reply. I truly thought I did everything right.

[HullRupture]

Oh man hits home just reading the title. I don't struggle with getting dates but 95% of women I meet turn out to be either crazy, hung up, preachy, or just generally bi**y. Finally met the most amazing girl on a date. Went really well she even asked if I wanted to see her again. But after that she just went cold on the texting and eventually told me I wasn't for her. I know I put way too much emotional investment in her early on and f***ed up.

[ElloMawb]

Guys stop playing these games and just reach out. If she doesn’t reply or ghosts you, she’s not the one. If she does, great.

[clownworld]

Facts about not complementing a beautiful woman's looks. Went out with a woman who is so hot that everyone in the restaurant was looking at her and she was dressed up in a nice, sexy dress. I could tell she was fishing for a compliment by her body language and comments, and I never gave her one, but I complimented her voice saying I liked it since she seemed to be self-conscious about it (she's got a somewhat deep voice for a woman, but I personally prefer deeper voices) and she blushed. Sadly she also ghosted me after the date. Left an invitation to another date and deleted her number. If she never responds I can never text her again and will forget about her in a week or so.

[lowenherz]

There's this girl who I got out with. She retouched her lips by putting lipstick. Is she expecting a kiss? 'Cause I gave her a hug

[Gladiator_Mindset]

Never show excessive interest in a women! Trust me guys I made this mistake. I wanted to see her again and I asked if she wanted to go on another date. She never responded! As cold as this sounds. Women love cold guys. Always leave her wondering

[TentangIndonesiaKita]

I agree with most of his suggestion EXCEPT about not checking if she's safe at home. It not only comes across as rude, but also unprotective. He should've called to check if she arrived home safely, and then he should not contact her, not to appear mysterious, but to respect her space.

[nickn]

I went on a date with this girl and I thought it went well, also gave her a good night kiss, after that was playing a little hard to get cuz I was also busy - so texting sporadically, and she was also texting sporadically - then we were supposed to meet up a week after but she didn’t really bring it up and then when I did that day she said it was bit too late in the night - I think I went from the cool guy to a bit over-eager - she said something like “I’ll let you know when I get an opening 😝” and I took a day to respond and said “cool keep me posted” - that was 3 weeks ago and I don’t know whether I should have reached out to just check in because the sad thing is probably she’s not interested anymore - what do you think?

[cynthiab]

Guys stop all these bullshit games. You express your interest with sincerity and back your words up with actions/ your courtships, and respect her boundaries. IF she’s up for the right reason and into you, things will fall into places. IF not, all good, you move on. That’s what confident man would do.

Disrespecting her boundaries, playing the hot & cold games or ignoring her will never make her chase you back, if the woman you’re trying to date is a high value confident woman.

Especially when you’ve expressed how genuine your interest is during the date and next thing you’re cold. Most women, we will take it that you’re just playing games and we move on.

[rocktokiohotel]

I disagree with so much he said. Dont take his advice

[vel]

I got blocked after our first date, no explanation of why, just blocked.

[thomasmurphy]

Ask her girlfriend out. That'll get some kind of response. Lol