Why Christian Men Don't Understand What Women Want

A lot of guys are getting rejected, dumped, or divorced by women, and no one seems to have answers for why. Let's look at what the Bible, history, and science have to say about it.

Access exclusive extras on Patreon:

For 1-on-1 sessions, send me a message:

Support the ministry with a 1 time or recurring gift:

Chapters:
00:00 Men Don't Know Why Women Don't Want Them
01:24 Bad Theory
03:02 The Origins of Female Attraction
06:29 Connecting the Dots to Her Behavior
08:14 What Is She Testing For?
11:45 How Will She Test You?
13:22 More Behavior Patterns
19:02 Outliers

[effectivepurpose]

Access exclusive extras on Patreon:

For 1-on-1 sessions, send me a message:

Support the ministry with a 1 time or recurring gift:

[paulokello]

the relationship is all about the woman? 🙄

[cdplaya]

These hookup apps have destroyed women. There’s just too much temptation to choose that extremely attractive man, but women don’t realize until after they’re in their 30s and 40s that most of those really attractive guys don’t actually want to date them and they just want another girl to occasionally sleep with on a rotation. Dating is almost completely broken in our modern day and age. It’s not that people are getting married later in life, ours is the first generation probably in human history where the majority of people are going to die single and alone. It’s almost as if God knew this would happen when he destroyed the Tower of Babel in Genesis.

[prestoncoie]

There’s no such thing as true love for men by women. There’s only conditional love.

The guy needs to pass so many of her shit tests - have money, career, ambition, physically fit, social standing, and yet be a good Christian at the same time. Once I’ve discovered that - I basically have no desire for any romantic relationship anymore.

There’s only one true love which is God’s and Jesus’ love for us. As a red pilled Christian, I pray to God for the gift of celibacy and resist the temptation and distraction of women.

[Catguy]

Or a man can go where he won't be endlessly "tested"--where no matter how much he does will never be enough--where his working day and night to sacrifice for his family is taken for granted but women need to be applauded for every time she lifts a finger for him--and get a passport and go to a country where Christian family values are still strong and women actually care for their men and appreciate his contributions, and where "family values" means to make home and family a place of love, cooperation and harmony. I realize that nothing will ever be quite that "perfect" and that we are all sinners, but that mentality and motivation still exists elsewhere in the world, and if a man desires any peace and harmony in his life he needs to go where Christian peace, love, cooperation and harmony are still ideals to pursue.

[arhabersham]

Finally, some red pill knowledge with a *Biblical understanding* of it ❤ thank you

[albertclerc]

Very relatable point you made about women talking about moving out of state while in a relationship. What should be a man’s response to that without coming across as needy to her?

[wallacegarrett]

I wish I knew this in my twenties. I would of been much further in life. Thanks for the info.

[Apologeticsiseasy]

I just found your channel, bless you brother. I have been looking for somebody who implements Biblical truth and anecdotes from the real world into Godly life advice. Thank you for posting this, ill have to rewatch it a few times. Your insight is helping many who you don't see in the comments. Keep fighting the good fight 🙏

Plus i’d love to see a video going into the Godly way to create resource without putting money first or worshipping work. Women are important but not until I am ready to care for one. Please don't fall into the trap of making videos about relationships for views.

[eggs]

So basiclly stand your ground and grind, thx brother really helpfull video

[recon]

I think S-tests make since in the modern context of spit families but where there's a father present to help vet do you think that would remove the subconscious developed habit of S-tests.

Also I think peoples imaginations carry them away to much. In most social areas of life people imagine themselves as a caricature of what they're pursuing. Whether it's joining a gang where you'll often find youth shadow boxing or imagining themselves with gun, or an office worker imagining themselves giving an awesome presentation and becoming CEO. In regards to dating I feel like people need to realize life is generally average and mundane. We're all suspending our imaginations through perpetual content consumption and anecdotes from podcasts and such.

[Radslom]

Great perspective! I wish I knew about this earlier.

[scripturexp]

Sounds sociopathic to me. Further proof that true love doesn't exist. This also explains why Bathsheba cheated on her husband with David. If you're introverted or autistic, dating/courting is a zero-sum game. Stay single gentlemen.

[periwinkle]

Your video happened to come up after a video I watched so I listened to you; I’m a Christian granny who’s been married 40 years. You’ve got something but you’re not spot on.
Women do have a sort of biological imperative for a man who can provide safety from danger and security from want. You entirely missed that this also requires that they know they are truly heard, listened to, and taken into account - which at times will require striving to understand her and may sometimes take great effort for a man - and that they can see demonstrably that they are truly valued and given consideration - for instance that something being important to them makes it important to their man.
I really don’t know about your theory of testing though; that I know of, none of my friends or family “tested” a man intentionally though some women I knew may have done it instinctually. To a degree your theory makes sense but your explanation and advice also sounds like accepting it to a degree that could justify or excuse toxic behaviour, engender disrespect, and establish bad patterns of behaviour and relationship. Idk, man. Have healthy boundaries.

[jareddembrun]

Which commentators interpret Gen 3:16 as saying that woman will desire to rule over her husband? Are there any Church Fathers who say this?

[steverogers]

Interesting theory. I wouldn't say that excuses all of the behavior and divorces, however in terms of keeping the attraction/relationship I'd say it's accurate

[buhlenzimande]

Continue producing this type of content Sir. It's one of the most necessary meat we all need as men. Keep up the great work.

[DogmaGirlAD]

There is some truth to some of those but a lot of it isn't quite right (but close).

Usually, even if the woman doesn't actually know herself that this is the reason she is not content and that she's breaking up with him, it's really a problem not all that he did something wrong but rather that he did not proactively do other things.
Older men really ought to be teaching younger men this. I get the our feminist culture eschews this, are we not as Christians called to something better than culture?
And the whole "I can't understand women, So why try?" Really flies in the face of Scripture. Husbands are to live with their wives in an understanding way. This being said, it doesn't mean that you need to understand everything or that you need to understand women in general. But invest in understanding your wife continually. No, don't worship her but try to lead her graciously (This is for after you're married and prior to marriage you should be thinking about if this is someone who you realistically could see yourself doing such with).

[jerrymodeste]

I'm glad you made all of those factual key points biblically and scientifically. It took me a long time to understand that. But I just have one name to say that proves you can excel in every part of your life and many but not all will leave anyway. ....Tom Brady!!. But he has his kids and the opportunity to marry again as a result of his efforts to be the best he can be.

[armandvega]

Good video. 2 critiques that I have:
1: Vulnerability and weakness are not the same. Vulnerability is simply a deep level of honesty. Nearly every relationship expert and marriage councilor agrees that a relationship cannot survive without vulnerability from the man. The problem is that most people (men especially) don’t understand what vulnerability is. Most guys think that being vulnerable means bursting into tears, unloading all your fears and deepest darkest secrets onto your woman. That’s not vulnerability, that’s being a crybaby. Being vulnerable doesn’t mean be a crybaby, nor is it limited to pain or negative emotions.
Being vulnerable covers the entire spectrum of human emotion from happiness to confusion, to surprise, to concern. Talking about a happy memory from your childhood is vulnerability. Expressing concern over your child to your wife is vulnerability. Being honest about what you want from your woman is vulnerability. A man declaring his love and proposing to his wife is vulnerability. Yes it takes great emotional vulnerability for a man to propose to his wife. Men must learn to manage and express their emotions in a masculine way.

2. The 80% divorce statistic is over used. Yes it is true that 80% of women imitate divorce. It’s also true that college educated women initiate divorce 90% of the time. What the red pill community doesn’t say is that the majority college educated women don’t get divorced. In Destiny’s debate with Rollo Tomassi on Fresh and Fit, he showed a statistic that college educated people have a lower chance of getting divorced. The study showed that women who went to college have a divorce rate of about 30%. Funny how the Manosphere never mentions that.

The Manosphere also fails to mention when women have valid reasons for divorcing their husbands. They never bring up domestic violence (which is more common than people think), substance abuse, mental illness, or infidelity. In fact red pillers don’t believe men cheat. They believe that a man can only cheat by sharing his resources with his side chick. And even then should be forgivable. That’s complete BS.

You can’t bring up the fact that women end marriages if you never explain WHY they’re ending them. Sometimes it’s the woman’s fault. Sometimes it’s the man’s fault. Sometimes both parties are guilty.
These nuances are constantly left out of the conversation and that’s not good.