3 Simple Ways to Get the Love You Want

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In this episode, you’ll learn what true love really is, along with 3 simple ways to start getting the love you want.

Today, you’ll learn the art & science of giving and receiving #love.

You’ll get simple tools for all kinds of love: romantic #relationships, #friendships, #family relationships, mentorship, and even the smallest, simplest daily acts of love.

You’ll also learn:
- The most controversial thing ever said on The Mel Robbins Podcast
- The truth about love (and an entirely new way to think about it)
- How to instantly shift any relationship for the better
- The #1 relationship study of all time: Mel breaks down the takeaways for you
- 3 things you can do, immediately after listening, to boost your happiness and well-being
- How the Law of Reciprocity creates a powerful ripple effect
- This person made a huge difference in Mel’s life (and will change yours, too)
- The secret to inspiring and motivating any person (yourself included)

In this episode:
00:00 Intro
02:00: The most controversial four-letter word Mel has ever said
04:00: Here’s why you might have a hard time hearing it
04:30: Why we are here on this planet
05:32: The incredibly inspiring speech behind this word
10:05: Hearing these words was a spiritual experience for Mel
11:30: Here’s what happens when you give people hope
13:30: What the science says about the benefits of having a cheerleader
14:20: The science says the opposite is true when you don’t feel supported
16:50: You won’t find Mel’s definition of love in a dictionary
18:40: Can you love someone you don’t like?
21:20: What Mel texted to her UPS driver that she does not regret
25:20: Somebody doesn’t love what you do? Use this strategy
26:25: The powerful email Mel received that broke her heart
27:05: Mel responds to John, who asks why she signs out the way she does
29:25: This listener sent a doozy of a message, and this might be why
37:40: Try this one short activity to bring more love into your life
39:30: The #1 reason you struggle with deep connection, according to research
40:06: Science shows doing this, even with a stranger, helps you feel better
44:24: How the Law of Reciprocity creates a positive ripple effect
46:00: The best thing to do to improve ANY relationship
46:45: It doesn’t cost anything to give the gifts we all want most
49:35 It may be uncomfortable, but do this today and you won’t regret it
50:15: The incredible gift Mel’s friend received from his father on his deathbed
53:30: The bloopers you love!

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[chayakaufmann-Dayka]

Beloved Mel Robbins ... I am here listening to you and crying uncontrollably ... I too am filled so much by these words with which you end every conversation ... I thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for these words. And if no one told you today, I want to tell you that I love you so much and appreciate your being in the world so much. You undoubtedly fulfill the vocation for which you were sent into the world. Thank God you are here! With love, Haya from Israel

[cherrypfaucoaching]

Based on all the people I have met in my 52 year Nursing career, you are accurate that so many people don't feel seen and heard, much less loved. Everyone needs to hear this episode. ❤

[Faith]

The most powerful emotion is love when it is genuine. ❤
I Love you back Mel 😘

[dddiner]

I tell my Husband and children, all the time I love, and including at the end of every phone call.
Me and hubby always say IU bc when my son was 1 yr or 13 or 14 months could not say I love you he said IU and our family has continued to say IU. My son is now 22yrs. And he continues to say IU to me and his dad. ❤

[carolpainowholefood]

Well now!
I recently unsubscribed from your newsletters. Not because I didn’t like them. But because I’m horrible at deleting emails when I’m done reading them, Lolol.
But after the story you told today about the woman who unsubscribed…I just HAVE to resubscribe!
I L❤VE YOU TOO MEL ROBBINS!
And you have met me.
And I do feel “seen” and inspired and loved by you every time you bring something fabulous to my ears.
And you know what?
I was listening while I was sewing 53:44 my aprons. My new business venture that I would not have had the guts to do…if you didn’t love me.🥰

[emmanuelphilippebienaime-vhhv]

You know what Mel, you are a good person. I am freaking love you, the way you define love.

[AvaCarmichael]

I love you, Mel!!! Love is acceptance. Love is giving it away freely without expectation. Love means loving someone so much until they believe they are loveable and worthy. That is Linda, to her core.

[reneetobin]

I loved my daughters bus driver - that was 23 yrs ago. While living in the country he was sometimes one of the few adults I saw. He always said hello, chatted to me, smiled, cared for my daughter. I looked forward to seeing him.

[ShortDarknLovely]

Agape love, is the kind of love and action that shows empathy; extends the desire for good of the beloved; wants the best; extends help or demonstrates good intentions; and is intended for everyone.

[shastasmiley]

I tear up every time I hear you say it at the end . After being left by my narcissistic fiancé that I was with for the past 6 years I feel like I don’t deserve love. I lost all of my friends during this time from going back to him after him putting me in the hospital and cheating and still making him my number one priority over my friends: only to be left after losing everyone who actually did care for me. I don’t expect love from anyone anymore and not sure if I can even say I deserve it either

[karenandersonrealtor]

I love listening to you as part of my morning ritual. Leaving people better than I find them is part of who I am, and yet this is such a powerful and important reminder to give and express love, not just to those who are obvious in our lives, but to all whose lives touch ours in our day to day encounters. Thank you for giving your love to me and others. I love you back! ❤

[lindaness]

Oh Mel, as a recent widow...how very moving this episode was. I took so much for granted, thinking that special person will be in my life forever. I did not realize how those very words: "I Love You" made me feel....that I matter. Thank you so much...your podcasts reach out to my heart strings. And I will start to reach out to others...

[gr]

I get it Mel. I sometimes feel this for complete strangers passing by on the street in the city. The only way I can explain this is that in that moment I just see them, their humanity, their struggles, that they are trying their best just like me, that they are worthy of love. It think it’s just moments when your heart opens and it’s a natural feeling. Then most of the time we walk around shut down, annoyed that someone is walking too slowly in front of us etc. I think our hearts are opening more and more now and these feelings of love for complete strangers, for nature around us etc just brings in this feeling of love and connection. I just wish this state was more permanent. I obviously love my family and people I know in my life but this is how I feel when I love complete strangers.
Much love ❤

[maayanbenattar]

I love you Mel.
Hi, my name is Maayan.
Even if you don’t know me, you are a big part of my everyday life. You are such a powerful and charismatic woman, with a big heart.

Thank you for making this world a better place. The Mel robbins podcast changed the way i see life, and helped me become a much better version of myself. You have no idea how much I love you, I just want to give you a big hug❤️

[PaulaBIrish]

Im awesome at that too Mel! I love and live for those moments. Somebody once asked me in a snarky way, “why are you here?” My response, without thinking, “to spread joy and laughter.” I didn’t even realize before that ahole asked me that why I was here. I texted him recently and said Thank You for asking me that question. No need to respond and I love you.

[sharichase]

I just want to say that I LOVE that you tell me you love me in every episode and every email. It's greatly appreciated. I grew up in a family that NEVER expressed love or made me feel like I mattered at all. To this day I don't think my mother has ever said "I love you". I vowed that I would tell my children every day that I love them and I did (no matter how much I didn't like them some days in their teenage years!). I still tell them now that they are grown and I tell their wives I love them too. I believe it is so important to feel loved and important. I do yoga with Adrienne every morning and she tells me she loves me too! It doesn't matter that we never met. I love you and I appreciate you and all that you have done for me (via your podcasts) despite never having met you! Shari xoxo

[mynheer]

Thank you for saying those three words because I just loss my father the day after Christmas; my Mom has dementia and no longer knows us. The day of our Dad’s funeral, my Sister deleted all TransBrother from our sibling to grandchild and would never say “I am sorry it was honest mistake and I am fixing it now.” No she never acknowledged what she did. She didn’t even send us a text or call us to pick out pictures for our Father’s memorial board. Then just acted like it never happened. So I have no family like I did so it’s nice to hear these words. So I do have my husband; who is wonderful but my family will never know because they don’t want to know him. Only want to tear everyone down. Sorry for such a negative energy. I love everyone and I never ask for anything. Good luck with your life and remember to love yourself and everyone around you.

[michelleclayton]

Mel,
I'm one of those grumpy people who got a tad annoyed at the love you express even though I'm a big fan. This episode was perfect for so many reasons. Thank you for being there with your kick ass optimism and hopeful message. I love you, too! ❤

[u]

I did this with my dad for more years than I can even remember. It does work. I'm a person that loves latterly everyone. Most people don't understand it or get it. Maybe I don't really understand it either. But getting off the phone I say I love you dad for years. His response you too or ditto. Finally, five years ago he says I love you back. My mind was like wow. Thats when I knew it worked. Now he says it all the time and always in messages signed Love Dad. Sometimes I believe people that have a hard time saying they love you back is not because they don't love you but because they don't love themselves or believe they are worthy of getting or giving love. I love you Mel. You are great!

[tinastaniscia]

I love you and your team Mel! My life is so much brighter since I started listening to you. What makes me sad is the anger of folks who choose not to understand your why. Are they so broken that they feel unworthy of accepting those words 'I love you' no matter where it comes from? What a phenomenal episode. Thank you.❤