How Fi and Fe Do Feelings | QA on Feeling for INFJ and INFP

[ethanznelson]

to all infx's: keep searching for meaning, the goal of understanding yourself is soo important!!

[blnguqd]

Thanks for this! It's amazing you came out with this just now, just the other day I (an INFJ) was trying to describe to my INFP friend how I think her empathy towards others functions more like "emotional alchemy", where she takes one single emotional component and breaks it down into it's individual feelings, and can even rearrange those feelings and experiences to create and relate to emotions she's never personally experienced (she does that a lot, it's very impressive). Because of this though, there are some things she can't relate to at all if it includes feelings she absolutely doesn't relate to, like overtly evil villains, or cruelty. In contrast, I have a lot of trouble breaking down big single emotional experiences into their different components, for myself or others- but I can often instantly understand what another person is literally feeling, even if it doesn't make any sense on the surface. This creates a lot of confusion, but it feels like opposite super powers sometimes, which is cool. :)
(Sorry for the novel length comment, it is what it is lol)

[PaulWBruce]

Sherman, I believe this might be the best video you've made. It's brilliant, insightful, intellectually engaging, yet so succinctly put. You really help highlight the distinction between SYMPATHY (feeling your feelings, Fe) and EMPATHY (relating to your feelings, Fi), often a source of confusion in academic psychology and casual talk alike. I like to make the nerdy analogy of an Fe connecting to others like telepathy (knowing the feelings of another, regardless of contextual understanding), while Fi connects to others like a power mimic (take on their perspective as your own, gaining contextual understanding of how YOU would feel).

[alaamhmd]

I'm an infp and you are describing what's going on inside of my head, amazing 😂💕 and this is a great video

[iwasanMBTInerd]

I'd say INFJs are like sponges while INFPs are like mirrors. Both are also pretty good at getting a vibe from people, which also happens differently for them. INFJs can know the vibe by NiFe. I'm not sure how to describe in detail the exact way they do that because I am not an Ni dominant.

INFPs can know the vibe or mood of a person by FiSi through noticable physical and audible patterns and emotional tuning which is processed through their own feeling system. They happen automatically and almost unconsciously in my experience. It's hard to put into words but it emotionally makes sense.

[skyefox]

Always shifting your mindset into what they’re thinking or feeling is especially hard to deal with when you’re having an important conflict with someone and you NEED to stay grounded in your own position. I have gotten knocked off balance on this sooo many times. I just have to remind myself that it’s ok to have as much compassion on myself as I do the other person. I’m not trying to hurt them by holding my ground, whether that’s how they’re taking it or not. That has been one of my most difficult struggles with this over the years. And not censoring myself away from saying things that I know they’re not going to like. Not being abusive but speaking truth as gently as I can to soften the impact for them - sometimes at a great cost to myself. Narcissists take great advantage with that.

[cass]

I'm INFJ but regarding INFP, I think that the choosing emotions etc is a sign of high emotional intelligence from what I've learned so far on the topic of EQ.. The best kind if empathy to have is balanced

[huntermcbriar]

Sometimes, as an INFP, it can be harder to keep emotions in check simply because of my extraverted thinking which is what i'm worst at. I may get angry at times, when I think something should be a certain way or i just want a straightforward answer from a significant other, i will become a little heated and not think about what is the rational thing to do in the situation. I have lost friends and gf's this way by saying things I should not have because I was heated in the moment, saying things that I felt and some people just either didn't know how to handle what i was throwing at them or got just as pissed off as i was in the moment and left. Emotions can be a real problem for INFP's and we have to learn to control them, by reaching inside of us, and extracting the Te (blind spot) function and ask ourselves in the moment, "Okay, what should I say or do here?" Basically just learning to be more tactful with emotions. I believe INFP's can be the most unstable/ unpredictable with emotions.

[karenjahn]

Your videos are so insightful and calming to watch. Thank you, INFJ here :-)

[JonasAnandaKristiansson]

If you only knew the perspectives I'm into right now, you'd see Ni+Fe like your describe perfectly here, x2. Seeing it partly from something like "Higher self", and that also, the information and presentation on your channel is amazing to say the least.

[akaboo]

I say we mirror the emotions and were able to put our self in there shoes.

[mokari]

One way I look at FE is like when I am listening to a sad, or love song for example and although I may have never felt those feelings or situations first hand, I am taking the song in and all its emotions and situation and then put myself in that persons shoes and experience it as if I were the one experiencing these things that I would have never felt otherwise.

[MEhatersLove]

Omg. There's a propertion to feelings? Thank you. I really like learing a lot.

[kathlynp.]

Thank you. The difference between an INFJ and an INTJ is really that an INFJ can understand someone's emotions on the spot. I've expressed my feelings to my INFJ friend several times to try and understand it, and they're really good at simplifying what I'm feeling. However, because it's in the moment, I know for myself it goes deeper than that.

For me as an INTJ, I can feel very deeply and I just don't show it. For me to understand and empathize with someone's emotions, I need more information as to why that by really getting to know you, and yes, we INTJ's do have empathy, but it works the best when we ourselves have experienced that emotion. From what we perceived in the past, we'll process that emotion, and that's when we really understand how to best interact with someone. Now, the downside is, because we don't really like expressing our feelings, we figure out a literal way to best make you happy.

I have a theory that the reason we INTJs and INFJs get along quite well stems from how our '3rd function' functions. For an INTJ, someone needs to understand how our feelings work and how we express it, and how we mask it by not saying anything. For an INFJ, someone needs to understand how their reasoning behind expressing a certain emotion at the current state that it happened. Otherwise, they will mask it with 'pretend happiness' to diffuse the situation if you're confused or angry.

[skyefox]

Ni + Fe can seem like Fi - thank you. I’ve been confused by that. Would you or have you done a video about that?

[bugfolk]

This was interesting, though I thought I had a bit of Fi, but when I pick up an emotion, my challenge is how to end it and return to baseline normal. If I try to break it down and analyze it as you described, it doesn't work. I get more worked up, more confused, and it can escalate. The logic may be there, but thinking "I am sad" isn't going to solve it. I have to do a perspective shift or imagine myself as someone else looking into my mind to detach from it. Again my focus is not on feeling the emotion, but how to wind down and return to normal.

In that perspective I can go back and imagine/ trace over the events to see that I had an encounter with someone who was deeply sad and grieving (the sadness he expressed lingered with me for at least two more days after listening to him express his story.). It could be unprocessed emotions I picked up from talking to family. Or anger/ anxiety I picked up from a few customers at work. The more angry/ anxious they are, the more likely I am to fumble a bit, because I feel it too. I have to try to block it out by making up some kind of mental thought loop saying "Stay calm" "Stay calm. Slow down. Take your time. Better to go slow than to rush, stumble and take longer."

[Iron-Blurr]

Wow i have used the exact same concept of the stored emotion bottle and retrieving them to change emotional state at will to explain Fi to others.
I often refer to Fi as an emotion processor with a capacity. If you were to pour a liquid into a bucket with a hole in it, the liquid or emotions would be drained and filtered out over time. This is why Fi often does not react or display emotion to the outside world. If you ever see a Fi dominant type displaying a very strong emotion it means they have been completely flooded with emotions that have overwhelmed the filtering/processing system and it is leaking out of them. So by the time you see a slight hint of emotion being expressed that means they are probably totally devastated inside and just arent showing it as much as a Fe type would.

[Rafasasaki]

I (INFJ) feel like the martial arts training and Qi Gong have helped me be more mindful of this external feelings and then I can sort of block it out by controlling my breath, but I think that is one of the most clear explanations of Fi I´ve ever heard hehe Thanks man.

[OhhowHelovesus]

How you described the INFJ's Fe sounded a lot like how I experience other's emotions. But I'm typed as an INFP usually, I guess because I always answer that i know my own feelings. I thought i did, but the Fi process doesnt seem to fit as much as Fe does.

[caramelunicorn]

I'm not sure if I'm a Fe or Fi user, but I can definitely pick up other peoples emotions. Like I could tell the other day my friend was acting differently. They didn't respond that well to my friendliness, I could tell their mood was off. I ended up crying later on when they cancelled plans with me. I'm not sure if that was my own Fi or Fe in the background.