A SIMPLE Fi vs Fe EXAMPLE | Introverted & Extraverted Feeling Cognitive Functions | ENFP Enneagram 7

We discuss Fi and its need to be congruent with itself and then contrast it with Fe.

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Hi there! I'm Joyce, a certified MBTI® Master Practitioner, Enneagram Coach, Jungian Typology Expert, Master NLP Practitioner, and Gallup® CliftonStrengths Coach.

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[sewhip]

As an ENFJ (so dominant Fe user) I wanted to add detail something that Joyce said. Regarding not attending the event, I would be concerned about the social implications, but it would not just be frivolous 'will they be upset' concerns. I would be thinking about deep, long term implications such as how it might affect my career, missed networking opportunities etc. I often find that Fe can be portrayed as if we have no authenticity or are shallow, but there usually is more to it than that.
That said, I am very grateful to learn more about how my behaviour might make an Fi user feel.

[claudiafabrizy]

Introverted Feeling: Finally there are words for this - being congruent with yourself and your inner core. I always felt that, even my body hurt, when I had to wear a social mask and being not authentic with myself. It is good to understand, why this is and reflect about who I am.

[joshuavanderrheede]

ENTJ here. This was extremely enlightening for me as a Fi inferior. I often don't even realise the inner pain I feel when something goes against my Fi values but I do 100 percent understand everything she said. I feel and experience that same cognitive dissonance if something goes against my values, and I will not be a sheep that just goes along with the herd. If something does go against my Fi values, I can overlook it if the argument is rational and makes Te sense. But if something goes against my Fi values and it doesn't make any Te sense either, then the beast is unleashed. Lol. Fi inferior is even more vulnerable I guess that Te needs to defend it even more fiercely. The main difference between me and other Fi users is that you can get me to overlook my own values if your argument makes Te rational sense. Most of the time, I'm a slave to logic rather than values. Higher Fi users can indeed look selfish, childish and stupid to me.

[cultivarcultivar]

Revealing explanation! The challenge is when an Fi user is very faithful to their inner congruence but not aware or curious about other people’s needs around them and the concessions other people might be making for them - can become a toxic one-sides dynamic that yes, serves the authenticity of the Fi user.

[himbo]

As an INTJ with strong Fi (and hardly any Fe!) this made sense. I have strong personal convictions. I don't depend on what others think or believe, but I don' just believe whatever I want. I test things against my internal and external reality: does this belief make sense right to the core of my personal experience and of the whole world? But I can also experiment: what would it be like to believe this or that? I think I am a 5w4 in Enneagram terms, and I seem to remember hearing that Fi is important there. So yes, this was very interesting.

[hfortenberry]

I want to thank her (I didn’t see her name) for articulating this. Yes, as an INTJ, I hope this will help folks understand why we are so reserved and respect that. We INTJs are odd enough as it is so add that on top of already being considered weird or a freak (and I’m a lesbian so that adds another huge level as well), there is only so much pain a person will endure before they decide it’s just not worth it to put yourself out there for others to do what can feel to us like emotional abuse, abuse that so many others don’t seem to understand or care about, which makes us feel even more alone. So yeah, when an Fe user tells us to just relax or chin up or whatever, it is so GLIB. I’ve been actively developing my own value system since a young child and don’t need someone who’s put very little thought into it telling me what’s right for me….Yeah, if an INTJ opens up to you, feel very honored and be sure you respect that. I think this is why I typically have many more Fi users close to me than Fe users, they are more trustworthy with my feelings.

[FatefulMender]

This helped clear up quite a bit. She really understands Fi. For a long time I thought I understood it but I really never did. I don’t experience any kind of inner pain when I have to do something I don’t wanna do. Typically I’ll argue about it for a bit and then just roll my eyes and go along with it when I see that nobody gets my point. I also find that it’s hard for me to determine what I like as far as films, music, etc. Typically I’ll just check out whatever is associated with a particular subculture I’m currently interested in. Nothing has ever really “spoken” to me. I just thought it looked fun. Sounds like I’m Ti-Fe valuing after all

[greenlimabean]

Thank you! This helps me so much with my ENFP daughter. She's 10. iNTP and so no Fi at all. But I can understand her NE FI and support her needs. Let me say, that I love being an INTP mom because I get to research my children's cog functions. I get to try to understand people so different than me. I get to put being a good mother at a higher value point than my own personality. It's like my two top functions are PA (parenting), MB (my Meyers Briggs type). The second supports the other and gets filtered through it.

[wangray]

I don’t think what she described only happened to Fi-dom though. Fe-dom can also have difficulty going back. But since Fi is not our dominant function, lots of other functions such as Se or Fe can override the Fi so we can still get along with that person. But for Fi-dom, once the decision is made, there won’t any function more powerful than Fi to make her change her mind.

[umeshkulkarni]

Fi thoroughly explained. It's like pain in the chest. Like putting poison in the mouth. It's like betrayed feeling.Thank you. ❤ISFP🙏

[DA_]

Great insight, thank you, Carol! 😍

at 4:52 with her example, was wondering something. I'm an INTP (as far as I know) so I do have Fe. Though it's lower in my stack, I have developed it over the years a lot and nowadays I feel I have quite good grasp of it as far as social skills go, have also developed my Fi. The thing I don't get about this example: to me that sounds a bit like a principle, also could be logical consistency or consistency of thought. If one feels that they have faced great injustice by this organizer and they should go to this event by that same organizer... unless they have to because it's mandatory for work or equivalent huge reason, like why would one go?

I do things for Fe-reasons and say things and do things that other people or the group harmony needs, at times not consistent with my personal wants. But if an individual is affected by an injustice towards them by something or another, I think it's quite logical not to think it as a "non-event". Am I missing something?

My question is can this also be about injustice, not exclusively Fi? 🤓 Not trying to offend anybody, or question her type, just asking! 💖

[CathAlexandra]

I've had Fe friends think I was "too sensitive" when employing my Fi. Feels so invalidating and manipulative when they've said that.

[ginkgoteki]

Fi but it was physically safer for me to do what other people wanted me to do so i have learned

[effulgENTPossibilities]

As an ENTP with regards to the event, I would ask myself if I need to go. If not I would simply not go and would not have any turmoil over it. If I had to go I would go. I wouldn't spend as much time hashing over it. I would simply go if necessary and not go if not necessary.

[pearlsbwine]

In the end, Fi users such as this lady here employ a trait which Fe users & others should all practice more of in certain areas of life; valuing yourself more than others, which is of course so highly stigmatized in contrast to the modern level of self-absorbtion that often underlies the supposed "harmony" motive behind group cohesion.

[siddiqsmouse]

CAROL!!!! WE LOVE CAROL!!! ❤️ 😆😆😁

ANOTHER BANGER VIDEO AS ALWAYS JOYCE!! VERY INFORMATIVE!! 😁

[ptyleranodon]

Well, this was an eye opener. I know EXACTLY what she's talking about. I've always been quite 'go-with-the-flow' with things in general, but when I feel pressured to do something that feels 'wrong' to my sense of morality I'm like a brick wall. In those moments no amount of tribe rejection is going to change my mind.

[richteratmosphere]

Well articulated description of the personal experience of Fi. Thank you.

[orangeziggy]

Omg that was so awesome ❤ thank you . I am Fi first and Ne second. I have always tried to understand the Fe perspective. It comes across offensively sometimes and hurtful, kind of feels like betrayal. But I know it isn’t actually meant to be hurtful, Fe just doesn’t know what they’re doing. When I first found out that Fi is considered to be selfish I felt “no, that can’t be, whoever said it must be out of their mind”. But now that I have learned about Fe I realize that the selfishness aspect is ONLY in comparison to what the Fes perspective is, without using the Fes perspective, you wouldn’t see the Fi as selfish. What Fe does is it will try to convince the Fi to change, tell the Fi that she is wrong, that she is hurtful, and that she is making the wrong decision, and basically putting lots of unwarranted pressure on the Fi; In simple occasions this situation might feel antagonistic, but in serious situations, the antagonism triples down into feeling like you’re being betrayed by the Fe. It’s hard to even understand what is happening, and why the Fe is acting that way, and there may be a fall-out of the relationship. I would like to know and see what it is like for Fi and Fe to get along in a group setting, how that would be negotiated successfully; seems like as long as the relationship remains surface-level you can keep the peace in the relationship, but once you try to discuss anything serious or personal things can get fiery, hurtful, painful and you just want to quit the relationship. I believe there are just waaay too many presumptions about each other to be able to get along correctly, Fi is looking down at self with a microscope and feels responsible for that, Fe is looking outwards at an entire ocean of people and feels responsible for that. So when they’re both on the same boat there can be a lot of clashes.

[VeggieJohnx]

Carol’s description of Fi totally matches how I think of it! Somehow that makes me feel more understood… So thank you Carol for sharing your insights. And thank you Joyce for presenting the topic. As an INFP, when things start to feel Very Visceral, I know I’m being being informed of the important values from within, values I myself can’t even put into proper words… It’s as if my conscience is saying through an energetic knowing: “Hey You! You better listen up!… And if you don’t… well, that’s on you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”