No Extroverted Feelings | Fi vs Fe | INTJ Perspective

Let's talk about our Fi feelings. I mean... let's not ACTUALLY talk about them....but let's talk about them conceptually.

#INTJ #Fi #Fe

[ninawillow]

Confession: At work, I fake laugh at stupid jokes so people don't ask me why I'm not laughing, which draws attention to me. It's not Fe. It's strategy.

[thanhlytherapy]

Lol my dear ex is an INTJ and I'll always remember this event that perfectly shows the difference between Ni-Te and Ni-Fe:

We were both finishing an assignment and his chair was blocking the way to the only microwave in the room. He decides to move his seat out of the way of the microwave as more people are entering the area. I then say to him, "Awh, that's so considerate of you to move your chair! So that the people can easily access the microwave."

He then says, "I moved it, because I know they're going to go for the microwave and don't want to be bothered while I'm working."

I couldn't help but to laugh at how blunt he was. I appreciate the honesty of INTJs 😂

[kamiladjellal]

I'm an intj and honestly I consciously. " React properly" I know when to laugh, I know when to act sad, I just learnt all of this from observing people and mimicking them so much that now it comes naturally. some people would never guess I am an actual INTJ.
I don't really like it, but it comes in handy .

[dr.strangelove]

As an INTJ, I tend find Fe users extremely challenging to deal with at times, not because they are emotive, but due to their demand placed onto others of expressing themselves like they, the Fe users, do.

If you're too quite and tend to listen more often without interrupting or emoting, I find the Fe user to get irritated, even if I tell them that I'm enjoying the conversation, with the courtesy: "I'm just quiet" added in just in case. For example. the other day I met with my relative's husband, he was talking for nearly 20 minutes and asked: "hey, I've been talking the entire time, someone show take over", I just kind of sat there and said "you're doing fine, no worries".

Although I may not have the social gravitas of the Fe user's endless emotional temperature gauging of a situation, I have enjoyed Fi immensely in my life, it provides so much personal value to me in reflection.

[seribelz]

ENFP here, I like INTJ's Fi, it is not smothering and gives me space to breathe and since it's not Fe I think I can relate to them emotionally I don't know how to explain, like we are in the same frequency but theirs isn't as loud. I also admire their higher stack Te.

[cinthiagoch]

"Fe will smile, laugh or cry and express APPROPRIATE situational emotions based on the people and the world around them."
Me, an INTP: That confirms it, my Fe is broken.

[PhotoRubio]

(INFP) Fi is my guy till I die. Why must it make me shy? By and by I try to Fe but it's not my slice of pie. It causes strife after time and back to my space I retreat, to the sanctuary behind my eyes. The cave of wonders of my life.

[rareaqqle]

Having parents with lead Fe is very annoying. They expect you to be open with your emotions all the time as if you owe them your emotions so they can feel comfortable. There was this weird moment with me and my mother, she asked me why I always hide how I feel. I was just sitting there contemplating as to why that was vital for her to pick up. It was such a weird moment. We would always get into arguments and she would get emotional but I would always try to find logical reasons why we're not agreeing. Most of the times its from stupid reasons she starts just so she would me rage, I don't even get emotional during arguments anyway. She really cannot control her emotions at all. One day, she tried killing all six of my fish but I saved them, twice. I couldn't understand why, I was just thinking so much about that moment and we just started arguing again for hours. That was when we were just being emotional and yelling at each other. I hate when people invites chaos to me, what she did was uncalled for. In her mind what she was doing wasn't wrong at all. Then a few days after I figured out she was jealous that I was giving them more attention than her. But I'm the least favorite child in the family anyway  \(⊙⌣⊙)/

[djones]

So true about problem solving vs. emoting. I always tell my Fe friends and family that I'm not the person to turn to if they want help processing their emotions - but to call me when they want solutions. My mantra is "not my circus, not my monkeys" and I only offer suggestions if they ask. I used journaling to learn to get in touch with how I feel. Still don't always know in the moment and it takes me time later to understand and internally process and sort through what's going on. One excellent benefit to Fi is the ability to stay calm, focused, solution-oriented, and unemotional in a crisis. Great video as always.

[LexAnnalyn]

Talking about feelings conceptually is one of my favorite things. They're very interesting. Every time I think I've figured them out, they surprise me again. I cope with the unpleasant surprise by taking a "scientific" approach: observing, experimenting, tracking patterns.


My mom leads with Fe (almost certain ESFJ). I had no chance, tertiary Fi or no. Emotions were talked about. Apologies were made to me when my feelings weren't hurt. (So much confusion—you did something? huh? Mom, I'm fine. I... forgive you? I guess? For saying something I didn't care about?) Pretty sure my dad has no Fe in his stack, but he's a therapist and very supportive of my mom. So... yeah. Some emotional competence, including looking out for others' feelings and sharing a few of my own, had to develop.


I decided at one point that I didn't want to be close friends with any sweethearts like my mom, lest I break them. I ended up collecting a couple good IxFJ friends anyway. Still a little concerned I might hurt them, but I think our communication skills help with that. Also, the fact I like talking about feelings conceptually. Maybe more than the average INTJ. ^_^


I've often simulated Fe—largely through mimicking my parents—because I do value people, and I figure if I translate that into their language, through smiles and enthusiasm, they should get the message they're valuable. I call it Customer Service Mode, even when I use it at church or another non-work location. And then I do my best to avoid the people I meet in CS Mode in all other situations, because they get it in their heads that I'm an extrovert and maybe even their friend. Yeah... I'm working on other solutions besides full CS Mode, for my sanity.


By my early teens, I'd learned to paste a small smile on my face during social gatherings, so no one would ask me if I was okay. (I get SO tired of that question. I'm very content in my corner, PLEASE don't worry about me.) I've been told that what feels like a small smile is often not perceived as a smile at all, so it must just upgrade my face from an apparent frown to a neutral expression. I'll take it.

[NiTeNull]

In my experience, Fe is definetely one of the hardest functions to emulate or make up the lack thereof. For most of my life I was completely oblivious to the Fe interactions needed to make social encounters go much more smoother. It even led to many misunderstandings between me and my closer ones, family or friends. However, learning more about non-verbal communication and microexpressions in a more theoretical way, then actively trying to read people (with some experience. Ni can be very good at doing this), and then responding appropriately to those cues has helped. Make communication nuances a problem to decode and solve!


I still struggle in some regards to this day though, since it requires from me a lot of attention and energy, and sometimes I'm simply too tired of interacting and want to retreat to my own room or space to work on my projects or relax. So the way I see it, we can't really just brute force Fe from inside us to make it work, but we can make up for it with some knowledge and practice that Ni and Te can excel at. Plus, if you Fi value the importance of self-growth and working on your weaknesses, the actual need for practicing these things and learning more will come naturally with time. I know it has helped me so far.

[Encryptus]

Feing is exausting. You are constantly gauging what to do and say and end up coming off as fake to other people. Unless it's small gestures...

[claudialuvsu]

I’m an ENTJ and I can definitely relate to not knowing your emotions at the moment you’re supposed to feel them. I usually go through life with an emotional disconnection, not saying I’m emotionless because I am DEFINITELY not, but when I’m experiencing current situations I do so with a logical attitude. So when someone asks me how I feel about a situation I usually respond with “I don’t know” 😂

[adr]

Fe: ''Alright guys were all going to have fun, woohoo :D :D :D :D !!!''
Fi: ''Who's this annoying individual I had the displeasure to have encountered''

[joshuamichael]

People have always thought I was full of myself or snobby, even unapproachable. I never understood because that's definitely not how I felt inside, so I chalked it up to jealousy on their part. Well now I'm finding out it was me all along as an INTJ hahah. I don't express normal people emotions so it comes across snobby or cold. Traversing this world as an INTJ is definitely challenging!

[Tristen]

I'm really glad you made this video! As an INFJ y'alls Fi is like nails on a chalk board to my soul. I literally feel pain when I hear y'all's opinions of people and things. Thinking to myself "can they hear what they're saying, and how hurtful they sound?"

The pill is made easier to swallow knowing that y'all don't do it out of spite but rather honesty. Still stings my soul though.

Lastly, I acknowledged not all INTJ's are like this, I might only know one other than you but I've spent a lot of time with them. Maybe the one I know is more immature, idk.

INTJ + INFJ is not an easy pairing, they definitely have to cross a language barrier.

[andreaELmeyer]

Also, when I am walking around at work, occasionally I will have this inner dialogue with myself and I will inwardly crack a joke which the rest of me finds hilarious. At that point I start grinning like an idiot and most people wonder what the hell just happened when they see me doing this.


I can't help it though. When I am inwardly talking to myself, I'm frigging hilarious.

[allysonedwards]

Sorry for the long post. As an ISFP, I have found that I've really grown from being close friends with an INTJ. (And other Ni users in General). Experience- I grew up in a house with a lot of Ne users and I found it really difficult to come up with valid reasons for my actions since my actions were based off of introverted feeling, my observations through my Extroverted Sensing, and my spikes of introverted intuition. Outcome of experience- I feel a need to rationalize my internal feelings but it's difficult to explain to others why I do what I do based off of how I interact with the world. I'm so grateful for my INTJ friend (who is one of the most logically sound people I know) for being willing to see my logic separate from my emotions. I know there are a lot of stereotypes of my personality type being aloof or just seeming illogical but I think it could be that our logic is most often expressed through our Se and I personally prefer to use the observatory use of that function. (or make art) I appreciate that I do not ever feel manipulated by an INTJ because it seems like their goal is to manipulate the situation into their favor rather than the person and their attempts to make others feel comfortable show a lot of genuine care for the people around them.

[sjane]

Intuitively understand what someone is going through, then exercise cerebral empathy: know what the situation calls for and act accordingly. When I used to confide to friends that I had a cold heart, they always said: you are the most empathic person I know. I thought I was a sociopath. Lol.

[eayllon]

3:53 "Not my chair, not my problem" 😂