Coworkers are NOT your friends: Here’s Why

Many people make the mistake of expecting their coworkers to become good friends, and while it sometimes works out that way, in most cases, it doesn't. Here's why your coworkers are NOT your friends.

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Jenn

[runningfromabear]

Can't say I've ever made a good friend at work. I found way back in HS that sharing too quickly resulted in gossip. Made me too scared to share ANYTHING when I joined the workforce because my *livelihood* depends on my job. It's just wayyy too important to me that no one has material to use against me. I learned my lesson before I even reached college. I have friends outside of work, but never at work.

[pnxpgzl]

I’ve learned this from my last 2 jobs you gotta be careful with these types of people. They’ll pretend to be your friend while low key trying to set you up getting you fired by their mistakes. Don’t get too comfortable around them and don’t gossip. Co workers do not fit the definition of friendship.

[hazelhadley-britt]

I would say 99.9% cannot be friends. I never make friends at work.

[jackcarraway]

I think in these days of social media people have a really warped definition of "friend". You can still be friendly, cordial, polite and easy to work with but not necessarily be a friend. And just because I don't view someone as a friend does not mean they are my enemy either.

[lynxcross]

Absolutely, I’ve learned this the hard way. Will never get those lines blurred again.

[tybrown]

I work with one lady who sits behind me. I try to avoid her as much as possible because when she talks, she never stops. She’s also way too friendly and in my face. Touches my hair, grabs my shoulder. She’s also very nosy and if I am talking to another colleague about any work issue or mistakes, she’s coming right over and asking what’s happening. She will stare at me away from her desk, waiting for me to turn around so she can talk my head off. She hasn’t gotten the hint that I don’t care.

[Engineer]

One year ago i became friends with a female co-worker. It clicked really over the top well... chatted the entire day with her for 5 months. I was really emotionally attached to her. Then one day she started ignoring me out of nowhere. I asked what was up. She started yelling like crazy at me "WHAT DO YOU WANT???" .. later she reported me to HR for stalking. I was in shock. Via my teamlead i heard that she called it a rebound relationship... so she abused me. I didn't even know we were in a relationship. Because she already had her next partner ready it was easy for her to ghost me without caring. I have a lot of resentment towards her and she doesn't care / is not even aware of it. I'm now in the process of changing job because I've had enough of it. It's really a good job i have and the company i work for is like holy to me, so it's really unfortunate that such stuff is going on. I'll never be friendly to female coworkers ever again. The main lesson is: Don't get emotionally attached to coworkers. Don't even open the door to that possibility.

[genew]

You're right on point. I agree with you wholeheartedly. Most people aren't your friends in the workplace and everyone should refrain from sharing too much information about your personal affairs. Sometimes your enemies are the nicest people to your face and then use it against you to their advantage. I only have 1 good true friend to this day that I met at work. We no longer work together, but have been there for each other through our ups and downs in life. Hugging sounds harmless, but this can backfire, especially if you're a male. There are so many frivolous sexual harassment complaints that it's insane. Just be friendly with your coworkers and keep it at that. I once shared with a coworker I had gotten a pretty good raise to stay after I submitted my resignation. Literally 5 minutes after I told her, I got called down to HR and was scolded by my administrator. No one is your friend.

[felixortega]

Co workers are situational colleagues not friends.

[AlyssaTheePatriot]

Amen. Work is not a family. I made one or two friends at my job but everyone else is just colleagues. Overshare kills careers. Just keep hustling and stay focused. Then you can shine on your job and career. Good luck everyone!!

[genew]

Has anyone else worked for a company that promotes going out together after work hours, whether it's to the movies or out to eat? I cannot stand doing things with our employees vecause they have proven to me to be backstabbers. Why do I want to spend my free time with these types of toxic people.

[nerifterafrnam]

Narcissists are everywhere, eliminate that factor and you are safe to make friends.

[Ashtarot]

There is one person I work with who I share things with I would never share with anyone else I work with, and she feels the same way about me. We've worked together for 9 years now and see eye to eye on a lot of things. That's the very miniscule percentage you're talking about. It's very rare to find that type of relationship in the workplace.

[beverlysmith]

Good advice! They are competition! Not friends! A lot of coworkers are bullies!

[taurahelms]

This is so true. There are very few people that I have worked with that I cared to keep in touch with. Most of them are either too toxic or your personalities are just too different.

[TinaSellsLasVegas]

Amen that’s is why I am self employed 🙏✨

[Kelseashell]

Very true. I’ve noticed this especially among people my age. Everything is about competition and comparison and talking sh*t so I just kept my head down.

[dianajames]

its very true. Never tell anyone (not just coworkers) your personal business. It always backfires.

[jamessessions]

I’ve already started teaching my teenage daughters the difference between being friends with classmates and being friendly with classmates. I’ve also warned them that anyone who will share gossip with them will also gossip about them. Lessons that will translate to the workplace.

[n.m.]

I really view my coworkers as "chess pieces" and not actual human beings. It's all just a "game". They will stab you in the back at any given moment if it suits them. To me, coworkers are just inanimate objects. They're like a piece furniture at the store. Just cold, barren and lifeless objects who I barely acknowledge. It's best to isolate yourself from everyone at work and only talk to them about work-related matters.