Should I Only Marry a Virgin? - Ask Pastor Tim

Is it an unreasonable standard to want to marry someone only if they are a virgin? Should their immoral past be more important than their present godliness?

[biblebeliever]

His standard is good. A virgin should desire a virgin, this is pure and beautiful love. Historically this was normative.
Sin has consequences and they remain. King David fell into terrible sin, was all his sin washed away? Yes, but the consequences were severe and not removed.
It should be normval for virgins to desire another virgin, the tainting of fornication lasts a lifetime.

[helmsscotta]

To the majority of the commenters: Why are women allowed to have standards but men are not?

[TheDSGuy]

Just because she’s forgiven doesn’t mean he should be required to marry her. I think it makes perfect sense that the man and the woman should have the same level of sexual experience. I don’t see why one should have to become one flesh with someone who has already become one flesh with someone else.

[facelesspodcaster]

You can't encourage people to wait for marriage and then say that they should not prefer virgins.

[AuntyWatanabe]

I'm 29 yrs old virgin
Praise the Lord🙏

[DarlingStudent]

All the women arguing with the Pastor were obviously not virgins when they got married...Looks like the question struck a nerve among them.

[sarahbelchiors]

Proud to be a 21 yo virgin girl 🙃 I'm a daughter's pastor and was taught waiting for marriage. Hugs from 🇧🇷

[pixelatednoose]

I'm a 19 year old virgin. It's extremely difficult to find a girl who hasn't been tarnished over the age of 15 nowadays.

[wendys]

I resent the Christians who use the forgiveness of sins as a way to shame men for wanting to marry a virgin. Yes I would say it’s harder to justify a man who has premarital sex to only want a virgin wife, but it should be the norm for a virgin man to want a virgin wife. A lot of these Christians try to conflate accepting someone’s repentance of past sexual sins means I can’t use it as a filter for deciding a spouse. Yes I recognize that Christ will forgive women and men ask for it, but that doesn’t mean I have to date them.

[mangiDeps]

Don't settle Bro.. Know your worth King!

[tahjesue-johnson]

Don’t settle for something you don’t want

[pooperscoop]

I think if she’s not a virgin she won’t be as bonded to you, as you are to her, and you’re more likely to get divorced. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that after the free love/fornication movement the divorce rate shot up to 60%. The more people you’ve been with, the less special it is. I think it’s better if virgin christians marry other virgin christians, and nonvirgin christians marry other nonvirgin christians.

[IvanBeritic]

If you want to marry a virgin then marry a virgin. End of story. Its your life live it how you want.

[definegaming]

As a guy who married a virgin, I see where he's coming from and he is not wrong in only being with someone who fits his ideal of a wife.

[bekahleah]

As a virgin (soon to be 22), and someone that's wanting to save myself for marriage, I just know if I marry a non-virgin, and when we're about to consummate our vows, it would be hard for me to not think about the fact that he has 'been' w another woman before me.

[RoboBreaker]

Statistically, the more partners your wife has, the higher the incidence of DIVORCE.

[alekseinesterenko]

My current situation. I'm a virgin man waiting for a virgin woman. I think thats way of thinking is not a thing to hurt a non virgin. Its a automatic thinking coz when you are a virgin waiter and you realize your partner is not, it hurts a lot. Man, it hurts deeply.

[lukundomukwasa]

I recently went through that, am 21yrs in first year of my university. I keep praying that God should give me a good wife. Am really encouraged.

[pooperscoop]

I think you guys are well meaning, but wrong on this one. Wanting an undefiled marriage bed is a good thing. I think we have an innate sense of disgust and repulsion at the thought of being with a girl who’s been with a bunch of different guys for a reason. She’s become one flesh with them. If someone isn’t a virgin I think it’s unreasonable to expect the other person to be a virgin, but both partners being virgins is a very good ideal to aim for. Jesus forgives and we should forgive too, but entering into a conjugal relationship is different.

[mlwilson]

Marry a non-virgin and you will never experience true intimacy and security in your marriage