#1 Parenting Psychologist: What Is Over-Parenting & Are You Doing It?

Today, Jay welcomes Dr. Aliza Pressman, a developmental psychologist with nearly two decades of experience. Dr. Pressman, host of the Raising Good Humans podcast and author of The Five Principles of Parenting, offers expert insights into parenting strategies and child development.

This is a must-watch for parents, caregivers, and anyone interested in raising emotionally resilient and well-rounded children!

In this interview, we discuss:
00:00 Intro
02:57 Should You Be A Parent?
05:50 Secure Attachment Relationships
07:15 Parental Guilt Explained
11:07 Building Resilience
15:31 The Risks Of Over-Parenting
17:03 You Need A Parenting Mission Statement!
26:31 Embrace Parental Failure
31:14 Communication Styles For Every Age Stage
35:10 Is There A 'Right' Way To Discipline?
39:10 3 Types Of Parenting Styles
41:36 How Rejections Leads To Independence
45:34 Tools To Help Your Child When They're Struggling
51:46 Having The Social Media Talk
57:12 Raising Confident Kids
01:01:40 Reward Your Child’s Achievements
01:05:53 You Can’t Control Your Kids, You Can Control Your Actions
01:07:23 Aliza On Final Five

Episode Resources:

[HigherPlanes]

I learned this from Myron Golden... Confidence comes from the word confide. If you lack confidence, you've probably lied to yourself so many times that you can't even confide in yourself. How many times did you say you were going to do something and came up with an excuse not to do it? If you want to have confidence, do what you say you're going to do. confidence isn't something that you build up to. it is owning up to everything that is you.

[jodygoodwin]

Mother of 4 sons here- definitely can relate so much to what she’s saying about temperament. Each of my 4 boys has very different personalities and temperaments. When I first started parenting I could compare my kids to other kids a lot and often felt like I was failing because my kids weren’t as naturally compliant as other kids. Then I had my 4th who was very naturally compliant and easy going and it made me realize that it has soooo much to do with temperament and way less to do with “how good or bad of a parent I am.” Also, my husband and I are very different and it really helps to have both of us parenting from different perspectives. Dads will parent differently than moms and sometimes us moms have to get out of the way and let dads impart their own unique wisdom and parenting on our kids. Ps- having kids is the greatest adventure of one’s life! No one is ever “ready” to have kids. I certainly wasn’t! But I’ve grown so much as a person through having my four sons and there’s nothing in life that brings me more joy than spending time with them and my husband as a family ❤❤❤

[Iannaz]

Thank you for all the work you do. Podcasts have helped me get through a lot of mental blocks. Instead of rolling around in my feelings I question them and look for like minded conversations. Podcasters might not realize it, but y’all save and positively impact lives.

A professional goal I have is to one day, interview the podcasters, musicians, and authors that have made a huge impact on my life. If I can share their work with the world, it would be an honorable way to give back.

You are appreciated 🙏

[Withekaye]

"It takes as much energy to shame myself as it does to shift myself." That was a really powerful statement. LOVED this conversation and resonate with it. I think one of the most common conversations I have with parents is that sometimes our job is not to fix anything, but just sit in the yuck with our kid so they know they aren't alone.

[melissa]

Love these type of topics bc parents try to figure it out everyday & sometimes we know but we need confirmation that we're doing just fine. That goes for us parents who are reading this and watching this ❤️

[tubeyou]

Finally someone said the confidence thing clearly and accurately. There are so many talks about confidence that are empty, just praising.... True confidence is competence based. Knowing what and how to do something is the key to real confidence.

[kimberleysmith]

I found coaching very useful in terms of better understanding that children need different things from parents as they grow up: 0-7 years - Parent-as-Teacher 8-14 years - Parent-as-Administrator 15-upwards - Parent-as-Coach

[monkeyloven]

This is one of the most informational podcasts I"ve seen in like 3 years or ever. Amazing, must watch for any parent.

[TheNomadicTrader]

I was a pathetic father until their mum and I separated and I had to pull my socks up. I wish I could go back to the newborn phase as the father I am today (3 and 5 yr old kids).

I was never heard as a parent, my advice was ignored and I was shut out so to cope I withdrew.

I'm the best dad now and the bond I have with my kids is unreal and I'm really proud of that.

Stay strong kings 👑.

[Roro__npk]

This message is potentially the most impactful message of the 21st Century... Atleast for me 🎉🎉 Jay Shetty, I'm so grateful for your presence in my life & all the experts & storytellers you invite into your circle of influence

[ForYouTube-xxph]

36:35 "all feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not". I love this!

[TarahLea]

Definitely some good foundation and bits of wisdom here. If this resonates, there is a very insightful empowering interview with Lewis Howes and Dr.Becky. It’s packed with ah ha moments. To all the parents taking the time to explore, learn and are doing your part- you’re amazing and you got this! Much Love!

[jamierichardson]

Minute 41:00! Such a good reminder !!! Sometimes you want to cave but we have to remind ourselves that we are doing for good. They will thank us later.

[devarennespatrick]

As a high school teacher, I've really loved this one! It's probably one of my favorites ! Everything said was deep and so real ! I do use some of these tools already in class, but I've learned so many much more ! Thank you Doc and Jay, this one was really something and I hope everybodybone day will listen to it because it's really awakening on some topics, and these are essential for parents or adults around childrens/teens 😊

[kazajosa]

I love that one.
If you really listen, you can have a lot of "aha" moments. It hit me when she said "we use to many words". I once read or heard a statment that helped me a lot with being mom of son, who clearly isn't a dandelion😄 "if your child is upset and you don't know what to say, just be there, hug them and say nothing". I am not the best with words, so I practice that and it works. Then, when we are both calm, we can talk about it. At least I'm doing something right😄💪

[SojibMiah-tu]

The way you explained this made it so easy to understand. 🧠

[marguritetheodore]

I am a new parent and finding it quite challenging especially as I have to combine this with a toxic job and an abusive boss Are there good ways to make enough money while working from home for somebody like me?

[JHart]

As an author, I'm currently writing an article for Authority Magazine. What y'all have shared is so valuable! Thank you Dr. Jay and Dr. Eliza for this timely episode! Yes, I said Dr. Jay!

[aarongarrison]

Jay, have you ever had a guest that talked about neurodiverse relationships, specifically a wife or husband that has high functioning autism/aspergers? I’d love to watch that video if you have (I might have just missed it) if you haven’t, I’d love to listen to you interview a professional in that field. Your amazing. Thanks for everything you do

[nabaomer]

I am loving it so far, it’s so important to have this out in the world for parents to learn. ❤