The Root Solution To People Pleasing & Loneliness

How to stop being a people-pleaser and how to overcome the problem loneliness with one root solution.

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[jacobkendrick]

When I ask myself what I value, I find that it is in helping others. But when people pleasing becomes a part of that, it’s no longer a choice. It’s so meaningful to help and be there for people when you authentically want to do it because you have a strong sense of self.

[vivekchavan]

Honestly, if I wake up tomorrow and I'm the only person alive, a part of me would be relieved that I don't have to play the game of society anymore. A big part of the loneliness comes from FOMO and comparing ourselves to others.

[victorfromheart]

Leo seriously. We know its not important what we think of you. But please never ever stop sharing these incredible insights. It's such a gift to the world.
The best part is that you are still young for this amount of wisdom. I wanna see the 70 year old Leo talking about his atest awakenings and insights :)
Much love to you

[SpaceMod]

Literally went to the cinema last night by myself. One of my favourite things to do.

[ibrahimkurdieh]

“You can’t help others if you are enslaved to them”

[lkqxgbo]

Seen from the outside "people pleasing" appears selfless and caring yet its quite the opposite. Its cunningly selfish because it disguises itself as helping others when in fact it's self seeking approval, recognition, etc.. there's nothing pleasing about it unless one does it out of pure love and kindness.

[FitOutsideTheBox]

Omg I have this feeling of not being able to share the beauty when I am moon gazing or an insanely beautiful view (obsessed). You can’t take a picture or anything— it cannot be captured. There is nothing you can do except sink into it and savor it.

[kaloqnevgeniev]

“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.”

― Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi

[kellidottridge]

I got divorced 10 years ago and started doing all of the things Leo talks about here. I was miserable and deeply lonely. I decided that to have a fulfilling life I needed to learn to enjoy being with myself. In the process I got over feeling not enough and unworthy. I often prefer doing fun things alone, because as mentioned, it detracts from my joy when people go along with me and can’t fully enjoy the experience. I also get to take my time, explore what I like and do not need to consider anyone else’s needs or wants. This is life-changing advice! If you’re not doing this, get on doing it!

[ismaelmarksteiner]

Re-listened to this today in a favorite Tibetan restaurant of mine. It’s so true that everything becomes more magical when alone, this is what I always retreat to after socialization, where I recharge and find or reconnect with my authentic self again, in silence.

Loneliness has definitely improved compared to a few years ago. Now, simply sitting alone, listening to the birds and watching everything happen is just pure Joy. “When nothing is done, nothing is undone.”

People pleasing is certainly still there though, this might be connected to c-ptsd emotional flashbacks and residue effects of insecure attachment as well as the belief that there is something or ‘someone else’ to fulfill ‘me’.

“I'd love to give you something
but what would help?”
~ Ikkyu

If it’s truly the case that I am creating everything then I’ve really really fooled myself, so much anxiety for Nothing, essentially. 😅🙏❤️

[tiagobinz]

Earlier today I was feeling very angry at a dear friend because she didn't treat me the way I thought I deserved. That horrible feeling came from this dependency on external validation.

Self-love leads to loving others, and not being resentful. Thank you so much for this insight!

[eleanam]

Walking through the woods, headphones on, I listen to you every day, you have been one of the best things in my life. I’m not just a comment, I’m a real life!! Thank you, I have changed so much for the better. I wish I could meet you and talk with you for hours and hours! Thank you so much Leo🙏🏻🕉

[sbstefan]

I started traveling alone 15 years ago. Best decision ever.

[roberts]

I'm literally alive because of your content. Thank you Leo for this one - brilliant as always.

[useienglish]

"Stop measuring days by the degree of productivity and start experiencing them by degree of presence"
Alan Watts

[takforce]

“I am independent of the good and bad opinions of others” -Leo

[szymonstankiewicz]

My favorite part was "That's some deep spiritual shit, if you go to amusement park by yourself"

[ReynaSingh]

Both loneliness and people pleasing are related to our sense of worth. Compassion for ourselves and others is the solution

[TheNendja]

I watched my child, little girl, while singing and dancing all by Herself, happily unconscious of the world around her.It was pure bliss.

[Samuel]

To be together is to be one, and to be many is to be alone.