If You're A Failure You Have A Big Ego

Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Meditation

#shorts #drk #mentalhealth

[pertatermayin]

My personal therapist taught me this by saying, “Egotistical and conceited mean two different things. You can be negative toward yourself and still be egotistical.”

[tiryaclearsong]

“I don’t feel any shame at all! I’m as proud as ever!” 

“Prince Zuko, pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame.”

[danielpintard]

Lately I’ve been thinking that I don’t have such a strong ego but this has reframed my perspective of what the ego actually is

[sanguinesydttv]

Having a big ego is not always synonymous with exhibiting narcissistic behavior. Thank you for clarifying this for people.

[dandarr]

This actually makes a lot of sense, as someone who has been struggling with some pretty severe self-hated for years. I'd thought that my ego had been withered away to nothing, since I had reached near-cavernous lows. But with this realization, it would seem that instead, my ego has actually been stronger than ever; a raging monster in my mind, tearing me apart from within.

[LforLizzie]

You're absolutely right.

I have a massive, fragile ego. My whole identity is based on how I think others perceive me. I've even decided to stop dating because I've realized that it's to fill a void and receive shallow validation, which will do more harm than good.

[adoof]

This seems like it would take a lifetime of careful attention to really come to terms with this fact, especially if you've had a negative self-image for a long time.

My heart goes out to anyone else stuck in this cycle.

[jasperborggreve]

Thought I couldn’t relate until you showed examples, ouch

[jebediahkerman]

I’m not egotistical, I’m the most humble person you’ve ever met, and everybody knows it!

[kaingates]

"There's a lot og narcissism in self-hatred isn't there?" - David Foster Wallace

[Gofasterthanthecheetah]

You just described me man! I never thought of it that way

[assassinelite]

I never thought of this that way, I think this actually helped with something inside me.

[rutu]

Opening eyes left and right! I never thought of my send of failure rooted into my ego! Wow!!

[joshmartin]

Humility is about abandoning exaggerations, both in the positive and the negative, and feeling the appropriate size (in the world)

[moukacy]

This speaks volumes to me because I've always thought that I have both a superiority and inferiority complex that clash with each other

As in a "I'm so great at so many things. But if I'm so great, why am I not in a better place? I'm just a failure." way.

[KalowJager]

A self improvement course I went to had a better way of using language than saying, something like "I am sad" you are telling yourself that that is who you are, vs "I feel sad" allowing your self to know that that it is not who you are, just how you feel

[Renin_Reyulo]

Uncle Iroh "Pride is not the opposite of shame, but it's source."

[Kokomiso]

This really does make a lot of sense because in this sense, when you reject everyone else's thoughts and opinions even though they are positive towards you, in effect you are showing that you believe your thoughts are superior to theirs and that nothing will change it. It goes to show the importance of self reflection and the willingness to say to ourselves that not everything we believe about ourselves is the case. Stay strong my friends, you are never worthless. All life has a purpose, it's up to you to find that purpose.

[Jgordon]

Ego is useful. There’s no end to the variety and mass of forces trying to extract something from you. You experience it every day. Ego is a shield.

[bigd]

This actually blew my mind. Thank you Dr. K!