5 Tips to be a Great Conversationalist

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1. Don’t worry about telling stories at first, especially long stories. 2. Don’t talk too much about yourself. 3. Instead, get curious about the other person. Take a sincere interest. 4. Ask questions. Yes or no questions are okay as a jumping-off place. But here’s the big secret. 5. You have to master the art of open-ended questions. Ask questions that start with words like “how” or “what.” That gets conversations rolling. “What brought you from Los Angeles to New York?” “How has Los Angeles changed over the years?” “What do you miss about LA?” Once the conversation is rolling along, offer your own details, concise stories, and experiences so it feels like a friendly game of tennis that goes back and forth. If the conversation loses energy, ask another open-ended question.

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[laneyoh]

Good tips, but I think one still needs to be careful with asking open-ended questions... or rather, asking too many of them. I know one person who does that, and I'm always exhausted after talking with her, because it feels like an interrogation rather than a friendly game of tennis. Perhaps it's because she doesn't offer the back and forth about herself, so it just seems as if I'm fielding questions? (Even when I try to ask questions it seems as if she is super quick to get it back to having me answer questions instead. It may be that she has put up a "wall.")

[EdgarST]

Friendy game of tennis really opened up my perspective on communication with people 🙏

[kingdommindsetleadership]

Alex you are an exceptional Speakerand Teacher and Coach !!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽Thanking you for all these valuable tips, lessons will never be enough !!!

[Mushroom-]

yes!, open ended questions really have you more connected to the person.. it happened to me! 😼😃👏✅️

[cherylecooper]

These are great, Alex! I believe -- in the right mix and careful balance -- these tips make up the art of meaningful engagement. ❤

[Lroy]

Asking open ended questions!! Yesss! It always surprises me when another human does this! Immediately makes you feel valued.

[RG-gdtc]

Amazing content as always Coach! Basics boiled down in accessible format.

[kjaanishji]

Nice presentation style and happy mood are impressive! What’s more, clear speech!

[alaaeddine]

thank you so much that's what i have been looking for in me but I couldn't articulate it and you did it for me now it's way clearer in my head

[johnsmith-xi]

These tips are good for getting shy kids to talk too

[janelbrookshire]

Lol. Why I’m a great date!
I’ve been on dates where he pretty much knows nothing about me, but because I ask questions (sincerely) - he thinks I’m super interesting. 🤣🤣🤣

[MG-qhqi]

Can we have adhd conversationalist tips?

I literally think of questions the next day even if.i am very interested in the person...I just cant get my brain present. 😔

[artemisqueen]

Hi Alex, i would love to touch base with you for a speaking session for a group of Environmental Public Health professionals from Canada. We have a tough enforcement role but unlike the police we are more often challenged and can find ourselves in tough situations. It is essential for us be able to communicate effectively in those situations and also other situations where we are dealing with the public. I find that women tend to have more challenges in this role then their make counterparts, especially in small town settings.

[melinatamang]

What to do when we ran out of questions?
There arise a awkward silence
And i hate it

[acmeallpurpose]

Usually I don't want to talk to people. In my head "Stop talking !"

[archieartzzz]

Personally i don't like it when they get too curious about me since i am a bit personal

[jsjb]

"don't talk about yourself too much"

[commentator]

What if the person keep talking about himself with no interest to hear your view?

[kawaiime]

How to listen when you don't want to? The person is important but I can't seem to get curious about them

[FRAILT]

why would anyone want to have a conversation with anyone? thats humanities curse…the spoke word