5 Tips For Being An Ally

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Stuff mentioned in this video:

29 States Can Legally Fire You For Being Gay

State Employment Laws And Policies

34 States Can Legally Fire You For Being Trans

What's with the Macklemore joke?

Stop telling queer people to be grateful for Macklemore

Macklemore issues sort of apology for accidental Jewish costume

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Resources for allies:

Getting Called Out: How To Apologize

White Privilege: Unpacking The Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh

The Angry Eye - Blue Eye Brown Eye experiment

A Powerful Lesson About Privilege

Managing Privilege

10 things allies need to know

Derailing for dummies

Resources for straight or cisgender people:

White anti-racism: living the legacy

10 Simple Ways White People Can Step Up to Fight Everyday Racism

GLAAD's resources for allies

Transwhat? tips for allyship

10 reasons to give up ableist language

Colorlines

Melissa Harris Perry Black Feminism syllabus

How to be a male feminist ally

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This video features royalty free music from the YouTube music library

Let's keep in touch!

[chescaleigh]

FYI if you include links in your comment, YouTube auto marks it as spam. But don't worry, i'm going through and approving them, it'll just take me a minute. 

[kathyblanchard]

In 1977 I read an eye opening book called Black Like Me, it rocked me to my core. I have strong empathy for others and I fight hard for what I believe in. My granddaughter is learning about the civil war, civil rights in school. I tell her imagine what it would be like to be ripped from your family, treated like an animal and sold and never see your family again, to always have to live with that. I have ordered the book for her to read. It's important to me that she understands how deep and far back the pain goes, and the struggle still remains. I constantly educate myself, make sure what I say is not offensive, and that she know how the color of white skin is an unfair advantage, which should not be!!

[eunicen]

"An ally wouldn't be the lead singer, or the second lead singer - they'd be Michelle" 😂😂😂 that had me dead. Great video explaining everything so well.

[catherinehume]

This is assuming all Black people have the same thoughts, all gay people have the same thoughts, so being an ally means treating all
Black people and all gay people as though we have the same thoughts and life and experiences, and we don't. Be a friend instead.

[JakobJakobsonTheEgg]

Excellent video! I absolutely love how you truly are willing to listen to others who are oppressed in ways you aren't. Not a whole lot of cis straight people are willing to do that. As for myself, I think you pretty much covered it. Over the past few years I have learned and unlearned so much to become more caring as a person and a better ally and my journey is of course ongoing. Just knowing when to shut up and listen is one of the most valuable skills a person can have.

[qwertydeluxe]

"Ally is a verb, not a noun." A concise and elegant rule!

[joelgraham]

This is a good video. Being an ally can get tricky sometimes - it can make people defensive or feel defeated (that has happened to me) but she does a great job explaining the situation and even says that allies should get right back up and carry on. This house cannot be built in a vacuum - allies have always been part of getting the job done and will always play a critical role. That said, she explains it nicely and I liked how she described staying "in your lane." There's no reason to watch this video and feel threatened- just like there's no reason to feel threatened when you begin to absorb the concept of privilege. She's trying to help - not put people off. Just take it in - relax - think - and move foreword.

[networth]

Asian-Americans are the most successful demographic in terms of educational attainment in STEM majors, median household income, lowest rate of divorce and violent crime along with longevity. Can someone explain to me their "privilege"?

[ohwellyeah]

I think another really important point is that being an ally doesn't make you a part of the marginalized group you're trying to help. This seems to be an attitude mostly toward the LGBTQIA+ group - allies thinking that they belong in the community instead of just as a support for the community. Going along with your building a house metaphor, if you help your friend build a house, you don't then get to live in it if it's not your house. If I, as a straight, cis, white girl, help out the LGBTQIA+ or POC communities, I'm not a part of those communities. I'm just doing my best to support them. 

[AarontheArtist]

Thank you for this specific definition of "privilege", especially the part about "it doesn't mean your life hasn't been hard", because that's usually the point that people misunderstand about privilege.

[jenniemontano]

At Genentech I am part of a Professional Womens group in my organization. Yesterday, we had an event at work titled “How to be an Ally” this video was shared by my colleagues. We had some great conversations about how to stand up for each other in the face of unacceptable behavior and micro aggressions. I love that we are open to having these conversations and holding each other up. Everyone deserves a safe space to work, to live to love.

[MarkFlavin]

Thanks for the tips I know I want to help support efforts to extend equality but I am also poignantly aware how my best intentions could be damaging to the causes I want to support. These guidelines have given me a lot to think about and I really appreciate the links and information. :)

[kenyaw]

You have done a great job explaining privilege and ally. Not in terms of race, but in general. This makes it accessible to those who are automatically against anything related to race relations.

[MrLarrBear]

As a gay young adult . . .this for some reason made me cry thank you for the cry video

[daniellegiorgini]

I love this video! I think its very important to be an ally and its super important to know how to be one. I agree that you need to understand your privilege; "before i can fight for the rights of others, i have to understand what rights i have, and others don't" - i find this very accurate, as i didn't used to truly understand what "privilege" meant, and now knowing i find that it has helped me to view what may seem to be mundane issues, more macroscopically and seeing them from a view point of everyone, and anyone who could be oppressed by it.

[laneatkinson]

No one will want to be your ally if you belittle them like that.

[Sirrahlala]

Great job pointing out that it's possible for racial minorities and LBGTQ to have certain types of privilege, so it is not strictly about cis straight white people. I'm a cis black gay man and I don't have to deal with a lot of things trans people have to struggle with.

Therefore it's still possible for me to be transphobic/transmisogynist or just a bad trans ally. That doesn't mean I don't have my own struggles, just that I shouldn't be ignorant about other people and should strive for Better for Everybody.

[KaiserFailed]

I am a gay male, and I am trying really hard to understand the life of a transgendered/transexual person. I feel like the "T" part of "LGBTQ" tends to be overlooked, so I am doing my part when it comes to educating myself. You mentioned resources, and one of the best resources are here on Youtube! You, for being a curator for social issues, and people like KatBlaque and GigiGorgeous help me understand things that I still don't. 

It's great.

Thanks for this video <3

[cabotlyford]

I was at a gathering recently in which a black man conferred an unabashed, unconditional blessing and wish upon me, whereupon I deflected it with a friendly comment that got a laugh but had the effect of dismissing his authentic wish for me. I remember being slightly disturbed by the disappointed look on his face, but was not quick enough to catch it in the moment and dig a little deeper to express gratitude for his generosity, and even to offer a return blessing. It is a small thing in the total scheme, but for me significant because I think that living a privileged life as I have (I love Chescaleigh's definition of privilege!) has inured me to many things that I would rather be sensitive to. I am grateful to the present-day movements for change and reconciliation for providing context and emotional fuel for these kinds of inner inquiry.
May we all be swept up in the beauty of this pivotal struggle and moment in human history...

[energycounsellingandpsycho]

Thank you! Love this. What helps me be an ally most is listening. Hearing the pain and advocating so that my POC family don't have to do more emotional labour. But reading is also amazing. Audre Lorde and bell hooks are both essential reading.