Should you allow your partner to be friends with their Ex?

Dr Becky Spelman from Private Therapy Clinic talks about whether it's appropriate to allow your partner to be friends with their ex or not.

This can be a difficult decision for someone and there is no black and white answer as every situation is different.

This video gets you to think about your particular relationship and whether allowing your partner to maintain a friendship with their ex is appropriate or not.

For further help with this topic you can contact us here:

SENDING BECKY STUFF
Albert Buildings
49 Queen Victoria Street,
London
EC4N4SA

#ex #relationships #friends

[ashtonsymm]

From experience. Never, ever let an ex anywhere near your partner. It's like having ghost in your relationship and it will haunt you.

[techgum]

If you respect your current partner, you don't keep ties with an ex...It's that simple.

[minombre]

Dont try to intellectualize it. If it’s bothering you, there’s a reason. If you’re uncomfortable with something, you do not need to tolerate it.

[cw]

Exes arent welcome in relationships
... loyalty is king

[Martin-ozlr]

Hiding lovers in plain sight is a favourite tactic of a narcissist.

[dwighthayles]

Allow them to be friends with their ex! But allow yourself not to be with that person. That's the best advise, don't take anyone serious who is not willing to give up contact with their ex and especially if you have had to tell them about it. People are not stupid they know that it's not right when you have someone in your life!

[oda]

Don't date someone that has exes in the background period

[aliciamontalvo]

I disagree! I will not date anyone who stays friends with an ex.

[anzar_imam_]

They know talking to their Ex, will hurt their partner. But still they do it 🥺

[erzascarlet]

Honestly, one of my deal breakers for a guy is them being friends with their ex. No matter what the situation is/ may be, I personally am not comfortable with it at all. Hence if I ever do come across a situation like that I will ask them to choose between me or their ex.

[AirCanadaJ]

Here's a problem - most the time they will lie wholeheartedly about any of these answers? Are they really going to say "yes, I still love this person and think about them sexually". They will never admit that.

[chotaladen]

I'm so happy to read the comments. I thought I was wrong.. But I'm not the one who's wrong.

[westgate]

All the non PhD people said no. The PhD says it depends. I’ll take advice from the non PhDs in the room.

[valentinorobinson]

She’s wrong about that ... if ur in a relationship u should not have any contact with ur damn ex !!!

[CaptainThrilla]

Any male or female who wants to have a serious relationship and potentially start a family has to learn that having their ex in the picture is not acceptable. Are you going to invite your ex over to babysit your kids because you and your SO have to work?To take you to the grocery store because your SO is at work? Nope. Not happening.

[angiek]

My boyfriend was friends with his x . I was fine with this as long as they were respectful to our relationship. That was until I found out he still called her baby and said love you to her. We talked about it . Told him I was uncomfortable with this. He said he would stop .
Then one day he wouldn’t return my text . And I found out they were out at a movie . He posted a picture of them on social media. He ignored me for a whole day . Then he broke up with me. He still wants to be friends! But flirts . So now I can imagine he was doing the same with her the whole time.

[orientalboy]

I would never ever say to my girlfriend, do this or don’t do this. All I say is, if you want to have contact with your ex than it’s up to you but be assured that I will leave if you want to remain in contact with him.
It’s not about jealousy, it’s about respect and I know that all guys who want to have a friendship with a women, want to hook up, simple as that and the danger of having contact to an ex is that at least one of those two at some point would want more than just friendship.

[educatedblkman]

NEVER agree to a relationship where the other person wants to remain “friends” or in contact with the other, They’re an Ex for a reason if they still want a relationship then that old one isn’t over yet.

[phosphornaut]

Broke up with my ex after she revealed a guy she'd been talking to and had gone out 1 on 1 drinking with, and then didn't come home until the next day was her ex. I found this out a few days before she planned on staying at his house party. She was angry at me for being upset, I left her the next day.

[marcleon]

My gf keeps in touch with several exes. Prior, I explained my position on this. If you don't have a baby or business together I don't see the reason. She claims they never talk. Her and I got in an argument about something and the first thing she said was "No one has ever told me that before. I'm going to ask my exes about this to see if its true". I always told her if you keep a link with them eventually you'll contact them. She proved my theory right. She said the lesson she learned was to not be so honest in the future about her exes. I asked her how did she address me to her exes? She addressed me not as her significant other. Go with your gut people, know your value. She had 18 boyfriends (not sure if this is a common number) perhaps there is a reason for this.