Decision Making When You Struggle With Executive Dysfunction

Why do you procrastinate? Could it be executive function?
Oh my goodness, I learned so much about decision paralysis when researching this video. The topic of overthinking decisions has been on my “to-do” list for a long time, but I totally procrastinated writing this video-It usually takes me between 10-20 hours to write each 15 minute video for my channel. I was kinda dreading this topic because I only had a vague idea about what to say, and then when it came out as the top requested video on my poll, I was forced to make it.

Has this ever happened to you? You had some big decision to make or task to complete? But you just kept putting it off because it felt overwhelming? When people are faced with a big, complex decision that they aren’t certain how to move forward with- it’s really common to avoid that task, to delay, procrastinate or keep busy with other meaningless tasks. But this can lead to big consequences later- getting written up at work, failing a class, or missing out on big opportunities because you can’t figure out how to move forward.

In the last video we talked about overthinking decisions and how that is often caused by not knowing how to regulate the emotions around those decisions. And when I started writing this series on overthinking decisions, the emotion regulation piece was the first thing that came to mind- people struggle to decide because they can’t handle the fear of making the wrong choice. But the more I researched, the more I realized that the second, huge part of getting overwhelmed and paralyzed by decisions has to do with executive functioning- So in this video you’ll learn what executive functioning is, why it’s so essential to making decisions and processing emotions, and 5 ways you can improve your executive functioning skills.

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

[Rhenadhis]

This was very very timely because:
1. I'm learning the skill of regulating my emotions as i make tough decisions
2. I'm a perfectionist which makes it even harder to make decisions
3. I'm healing from anxiety and depression which makes me feel like everything is an insurmountable task

[scrubjay]

I am a perfectionist and have to research every dang decision to death for fear I will make a wrong decision and put myself in a worse financial situation for the future. When you don't have much money, wrong decisions can be expensive. So then I just procrastinate of course. And that results in the situation I am in now - paralysis, with about a hundred decisions to make and feeling too overwhelmed to think. Sometimes I feel completely unsuited to this modern life. No. All the time.

[forisma]

4:30 Limit your number of options when possible
5:15 To support your working memory make things visual
6:00 Break it down
7:51 Clarify what's actually important
9:23 Set a time limit

[wallycola]

I love the ADHD-oriented content! I would love to see more of this

[happyzombiikitti]

I have autism and bipolar depression and I’m dealing with a burnout. Executive functioning is one of the first things that falls out the window and I have a hard time making simple choices such as what to eat or even for my hygiene. This helps a lot. My partner is my accountability buddy when I’m going through this and I’m the same for them when they are struggling.

[hakuchu]

I really appreciate the time and effort you put into your videos! they profoundly positively affect so many people, myself included! ❤

[SoZen]

I was just talking to a friend about this yesterday and she mentioned how her husband, who also has ADHD (like me) has such a hard time with decisions, too. I want to say: these tips are helpful but, for me, I've rarely been able to use tips like these, because I do get stuck in not seeing what is actually important or not; and then I get into the fear that paralyzes me... So, yeah, I think some of us need a little more help, and it can take years before something finally seems to work. You had another video about taking action when in fear mode and that one was very helpful to me in this regard.

[ginny]

This week was one of my worst, re decision paralysis. I have many complex work and home projects and feel like I have short circuited. I am having trouble with my discernment and processing. I call it the "do nothing" phase. The fatigue has been soul crushing. I learned that even doing one little task, gets me on my way; it is the beginning that is so difficult. Thank you for this perfectly timed video!

[AmyB]

I can’t get on board with mental health channels on YouTube that are still promoting better help. I tried their service and then found out that they were selling peoples information to Meta at which is really not okay.

[patrickdallaire]

In hindsight of past therapy, executive dysfunction has come up a lot. One of the things we discussed and maybe I should review some of my notes and journal entries on is "Values". It's difficult to prioritize when I'm so out of touch with what's important to me, deep down. For the reason, it's hard to attribute meaning to completing particular tasks.

[samantharuebel]

Some of these skills I've had to teach myself for the sake of doing my job but outside of that I still struggle a lot. I totally understand "Omar" checking out on YouTube instead of taking action; that is so me!! Sometimes I put so much effort into staying caught up at my job that I just don't have the mental energy for anything else afterwards. It's definitely been a struggle my whole life, but as you said, learning to accept the imperfections to get something completed can really help you get there.

[inkenasmr]

I came to the realisation that I have always had problems deciding what to do in my free time or just overall what to do next. All I did was thinking about the next logical step, what I should do next and imagining the smallest tasks like grocery shopping or taking out the trash. It was always a challenge to manage my free time, when I wasnt at work or school. It all leads back to the moment when I was eleven and I had to decide either to stay with my father or leave with my mother. It was the middle of the night and my mom started packing and telling me to get my things, my dad cried and begged me to stay saying that if I didnt go neither would she. But my mom told me that she would go with or without me. This is such a core memory that I remember so clearly even after all those years. It blocks and hinders me even till this day of persuing what I want to do with my life and becoming the person I want so be, because of overthinking each little decision on a daily basis. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming and tiring a can`t even leave my room. It hinders me from living in the present because my mind is always thinking about the next possible thing, not in a necessay negativ way, but it just goes on and on and sucks the life out of me. But me knowing this now and being aware when these thoughts come up to just realise that this is the trauma talking, trying to protect me. But me being aware that it is its own thing and not me, I can learn to let it go.( english isn`t my first language but i still hope you can understand what I am writing;)

[DJ-yjvg]

This is precisely what happened to me after a frontal lobe brain injury. The part of my brain required to make decisions made it difficult. I would stand in a store simply overwhelmed by the number of choices. Then I would panic, then I would panic if I walked out the store without buying something.
One thing I learnt from dad was that no matter what decision you make, you will always have made a better one in hindsight..but we don't have hindsight. So just make a decision, stick with it, see how it goes, then reassess.

[MrJegerjeg]

Reminds me of what some former citizens of East Germany told me about going shopping after the fall of the Berlin Wall. They were overwhelmed with options, and they developed some sort of mild anxiety.

[teresakilleen]

Oh my yeah!! Takes me so long getting ready, prepping for..anything and decisions are off the table - by the time I've made one, the opportunity's passed. Have even dreamed about this!!

[AKonnichiwa]

I just realized how the steps for supporting your executive function is the same with S.M.A.R.T. goals template :
Limiting your choices = Specific (less is more)
Making decisions visual = Measurable (it's easier to measure in visual for our brain)
Breaking tasks down into smaller steps = Achievable
Clarifying your values = Relevant
Setting a time limit = Time-bound

But I feel like I understand it better in the video because you break it down on why I struggle and also giving each part a specific solution, so it gives me new insights. Thank you for the video! 🥰

[yoannaasenova]

I’m amazed that I’ve recently started figuring this out on my own intuitively. But I was stuck in overwhelm/paralysis for 3 years, not being able to function.

[shimokitazawa]

Wow thanks for sharing how much preparation work goes into each video! As an academic, I can totally see myself spending 10-20 hours on a task like this, but I always thought that others were way more efficient, so that kind of discouraged me from a lot of projects.

[createthelifeyouwant]

Haha. I was working on my resume while
listening. My resume that I have put off updating for MONTHS! Good info! As always. Thanks

[kaizen_]

"Done is better than perfect"