Dismissive Avoidant & Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style Key Differences & Similarities

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In today's video, Thais Gibson shares the key characteristics of a dismissive avoidant attachment style (avoidant attachment style) and the fearful avoidant attachment style (disorganized attachment style). Watch now to learn about the differences and similarities, as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "Discover, Embrace & Fulfill Your Personal Needs", for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!

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00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:59 - Characteristics of the Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style
00:02:43 - Characteristics of the Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style
00:03:07 - Fears / Core Wounds
00:05:26 - Emotional Tendencies
00:06:03 - 14-Day Free Trial: Needs Course
00:06:36 - Needs
00:07:18 - Boundaries
00:07:49 - Coping Mechanisms
00:08:43 - What Does This Mean to You
00:10:13 - Conclusion

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Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.

I created the Personal Development School, an online learning platform that gives users the ability to create true and long-lasting change in their lives through personal development courses that are designed to give you a breakthrough in every area of your life, with a 99.7% satisfaction rate.

Our Youtube videos give you a glimpse into this in-depth course content. Much of what you'll learn here is based on your attachment style and how that affects the relationships you have with your family, friendships, and of course, your romantic relationships.

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[tgpomy]

My ex abruptly ended things the day after spending a full day together & talking about our future, telling me how much she appreciates me in her life, etc. She immediately went back with her ex that she had previously criticized to me & blocked my number, even though I wasn't texting/"harassing" her. I feel hopeless because I treated her so well and with so much love and in the end, got nothing in return. It was just ripped from my hands without warning. It's been almost a month and it still stings because we never had real closure. It was just real love & then it was gone, like a light switch.

[zaram]

I am FA and was discarded by a DA after many years. I did not know any of this at the time but now I do. I’m struggling to heal almost 2 years later.

[nappyfries]

I’m a FA & often get in relationships with DAs. They bring out my anxious side but I understand their avoidant side. But often what ends it it’s them triggering my anxiety & I end it. I’m glad I know this but I hate it at the same time.

[gogohappygirl]

I noticed you’ve been redoing some of your older videos in an updated format. I’m particularly enjoying the last two demonstrating the difference between FA vs. DA, and FA vs. AA. I would love to see an updated version about FA leaning dismissive vs. DA leaning fearful. Also, I don’t recall you doing a video about FA leaning anxious vs. anxious leading FA. I’m also still hoping to eventually see individual videos elaborating on the five different sub-types of FAs and four different types of DAs, so for instance, a video all about the internal FA, or a video all about the enmeshed DA, etc.

[cookiecutterfits]

I've been struggling to know if I'm DA or FA. I think i'm quite clearly on the DA side. This video helped me clarify that finally! Quite the relief, thanks. Now to work on it ... 🙃

[Hana-neng]

It is crucial to understand this that if your partner is genuinely uninterested in you or just have avoidant attachment style wether it is DA aur FA because a person might show these similar signs if he/she not genuinely interested in you.

[coltenkelso]

FA’s tend to have more fear and anger which causes trust issues. They also tend to gaslight more in relationships. The DA is more consistent in pushing people away and is more of the stonewalling type.

[jessebohannon]

I think my ex is struggling with borderline. But it feels a lot like fearful avoidant too. I’d love to see a video on how they overlap and how they’re different.

[gtzrunnaz]

Literally my exact situation. Thank you.

[JasonPollock-myxt]

I can relate to so much of your story I understand your pain. I’m sorry this has happened to you

[johnnyfog]

Hello!

Could you do a video about the empathic ability of the different attachement style? Wich one are more able to see other‘s perscpective?

I love your content you are on point 100% :))

[sifublack]

Nice breakdown. It pretty much confirms my friend is an FA. I'm going to share this video with her.

[roshalllambert]

I remember you made a similar video years ago and this was a great update for it!! Also you were very accurate when you said DAs treat their emotions the way their parents treated them!

[jennifermoore]

Hi Thais, you mentioned in this video talking to your partner and seeing if they are willing to work on the downsides of their insecure attachment style. I did that with my last partner (FA) and at first he was. We worked on identifying and communicating emotions and needs for several months and then one day he kind of exploded and said he didn't want to do the stupid book anymore, it's not working and seeing a counselor is not working (we had only gone 3 times). We broke up shortly after that. Many people shamed me for "trying to change him" and waved that "sage advice" in my face that you can't marry a man thinking you will change him. I wasn't trying to change his personality or career choice or dreams or values or anything like that, but I was trying to change the way he was treating me (especially when triggered), so maybe still I was wrong? Can you do a video on what is the difference between the kind of trying to change someone that is wrong and will only lead to disappointment and the kind you speak about? When people tell me you can't change someone it makes me feel like i have to find someone who is perfect for me, has a secure attachment style and is already proficient at resolving conflicts, which just seems hopeless 😦

[pocobueno]

Thank you. This video was vlear an helpful. I am dealing with both FA and DA types in my life and I've always suspected that a narcissist can have a terrible impact on an adult leaning FA.

[luketimewalker]

ENLIGHTENMENT
Right before this one I watched "4 Texting Signs A Dismissive Avoidant Is NOT Into You! | Dismissive Texts"
I have a feeling the left on read/ increasing delays I got were not a sign of lack of interest in me (the eyes when we met in person really said otherwise) BUT a sign of unestablished boundaries making my DA ill at ease.
Meanwhile I recognize myself pretty much 100% in what you describe of an FA...

Thank you so much Thais & PDS

[rose-of-theoasis]

Thanks for the video. But I am still having a hard time deciding whether my avoidant ex is dismissive or fearful 🤔😧

[sophieacapella]

Excellent video, thanks a lot Thaïs 😊 !

[Jaguarsnake]

I have a lot of both styles according to this video

[OregonSingles]

My Ex-DA do seem similar relationship wise on the outside, but when tryin to make it work it just wont without the real work, individually and together. Like an hour commitment per week. It was too much for him but I just hit my 1 year with no plans to stop!