Narcissistic parents didn't 'predict you'd fail' (they made sure you will)

⚠️ Disclaimer: These videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in person professional medical advice ⚠️

[NoRainNoFlowersz]

10:52 "Why arent you flying like your cousine?" after they have cut your wings. Sad Truth.

[Ben-farid-]

This is the first times a video on YouTube, hurts me so much! I was unable to listen to your words and sentences continuously! Wow wow! Too hard and very true. Even my English is a failure too! I used "google translation" to write this comment! Thank you madam

[blurhapsody]

Damn. I grew up with a serious love for the performing arts. Dance, singing, acting. My mother started out by telling me I couldn’t take ballet because I was too fat for the leotards (I was 7). She then allowed me to join the church dance team when I was 11. I was pretty much only allowed to do religious based extra curricular activities. Every time I performed she made a slick joke about how I looked weird or almost fell or something. She would take away going to practices and classes as “punishment”…but then tell me I would never develop my talent because I didn’t practice enough. My dad would tell me my singing voice wasn’t good because I didn’t have “soul” and I still have insecurities about my voice to this day. My voice got me a scholarship to college, yet I still worry I don’t sound “black” enough. I would be so hurt after recitals seeing my mom congratulate and compliment every one else, yet make mean jokes about me. One memory I’ll never forget is my mom giving this little blonde girl a standing ovation after she danced at our church. That girl went on to star in a musical drama. I stopped doing what I loved after my grandmother passed when I was in college. Now I’m in my 30s. And stuck.

[MoonstarGem]

And yet at the same time when I would ask for help or guidance, the response was “if you can’t figure this out on your own, you’ll never make it in the real world.” Or “Figure it out. It’s not my job to teach you.” So you get used to doing everything yourself, but also not believe you can do “important” things yourself. Thanks dad.

[rachellerockel]

No wonder I fell into a cult. I literally thought that was who she was describing in the beginning before I realized she was describing my mother 😢

[ilovemeforwhoiam]

It doesn't matter the cultural differences, language or ethnicity difference... When it comes to narc parents.. they all are the same...😂 How exactly I can relate to anyone around the world..

[Lyrielonwind]

I remember my father having a very serious conversation with me, I was 6 or 7 years old and I don't remember I did anything wrong but all I remember he telling me I had to "sacrify" myself.
They did sacrify me. Guess who was the scapegoat. That's right, me.

[aminam]

My mom did everything she could to get me to fail at anything I set my mind to that she didn’t agree with. Between the insults, mental isolation, character assassination, I have failed. I’ve always been the scapegoat, it’s so hard cutting them off because I’ve always yearned for love from her as the only girl… I’m tired

[evadebruijn]

They say the best revenge is living your best life, but from keeping on keeping on to thriving I would need to not be drained of energy by the smallest things.
They say chronic fatigue also has to do with having done too many things you did not truly want to do for too much time. I can only hope that the average amount of daily spoons does not further decrease.
✌️

[dreadpiratelenny]

I'm sitting here crying like a baby as you describe my whole life!

[ThomasBuchwinkler]

You forgot something "You do´t understand me, I only mean well for you"
Well it was not really like that she forst up beliefs on to me and i stopped talking to you, and the most necessary.
She then insulted me and judged me. A lot changed during my apprenticeship as a baker. I only saw her briefly in the evenings. And at the weekend we went out to drink or I stayed overnight at my father's. They had already been separated/divorced for 10 years at that time.
My mother doesn't want me anyway.
And in the end I won and there Lies that the build around me.
With physical abuse in childhood, you have to kill your parents emotionally and psychologically over and over again in order to be free forever. Some people can't do that and they do it physically or with themselves. But it's the same with emotional or psychological abuse. It's tough when it's all three.

[dbuck]

The more I watch your videos, the more I understand the rage inside of me towards my family. My mother was more of what they call a covert narcissist and her manipulations ran so deep into the family, that most of them ( my older siblings) never realized it or lived in denial.

By the way, I am 60 years old and have been in therapy since I was 24. While I have learned and grown much from this process, your videos have taken me deeper into where I come from than my Therapy ever could have. Maybe it is just the right time in my life process to finally be seeing The depth of maliciousness that my covertly narcissistic mother had on us. As the youngest and the golden child of the family, I guess I was destined to have somewhat rose colored glasses that I saw my childhood from as well as always trying to see the goodness in my parents despite the pain they caused me. It wasn’t until my mother’s death a year and a half ago and the experience of just feeling empty inside after she died, that I realized I was truly never going to have the kind of life I could have had with a more nurturing parent. That is now the major grief that I carry inside of myself. Your videos are helping to point me in the direction of learning how to nurture myself so that I can correct some of this.

Thank you.

[srini]

Evita I really admire you so much for your excellent content

[carmend]

How to save yourself from narcissistic parents that want you broke and ill?

[Maya-tjwp]

I've completely given up on life. I'm already in my mid twenties, chronically ill and bed ridden with severe C-PTSD, depression, anxiety, no degree, no job no way to move out of toxic home in this 3rd world country

[jmfs]

These toxic people can turn it off, though, right? We've all seen them treat the majority of other people with respect and kindness, right?
That's how you really know that they know it's wrong.

[datboyquincy]

Your video was just in time, thank you!

[jellybelly]

Thank you for this video...I'm still here at least even though things are sad for me and I am clearly hated by my mother who is extremely wounded and damaged but also impulsive and selfish with a husband who is my stepfather who sees me inappropriately and not as a step-child, who has perpetuated tension and division between me and my mom but has cheated on her and used her to hurt her to appease his children from two previous marriages who he abandoned when he met my mother...sometimes I want to end it but I have children to live for, it's sad I have to be patient while my mom tries to turn my own children against me

[capleosag]

My father left us when I was 11 months old. I basically only had my mother when growing up. Her voice is immanent inside me. I am 30. I can't really decide on my own what's right or wrong. If I want to do something new and I make the mistake of talking to her about it she tells me to be "careful" and to think about if maybe it's "too much" for me. If I tell her what I did or what I attemped to do or what little accomplishments I did for myself she never shows genuine support, joy or validation.

I accepted her judgement as a real baseline for decisions I make for myself. She is still present in my life and "always there if I need a helping hand". I didn't even want to watch your video at first because I knew what I would be confronted with. She supports me financially in every way she can.

When I was in a mental ward at 21 years old and told her I wanted to end it all she said: "please don't do this to me."

I am still alive, I guess I got that going for me but it feels like I only live for her to have a dependent support animal later when she falls old and sick...
I am afraid I will never get out and will always be stuck with her.

[maxmeeks]

This is very sad, but true. Down and out people, even family, will sabotage kids that are completely succeeding. Book, The American Exile Trilogy.