Emotional Neglect: Jumpstart Your Healing by Doing These 3 Things | Dr. Jonice Webb

In this video, “Emotional Neglect: How to Jumpstart Your Healing by Doing 3 Things,” I explain what makes Childhood Emotional Neglect or CEN so very healable. You’ll learn why you need to have full access to your feelings to emotionally survive and thrive in this world.
I’ll give you some examples of how feelings are meant to be used. Then, I’ll tell you what I have discovered to be 3 very powerful things that you can do to heal your Emotional Neglect, even if you have no therapist.

CEN Breakthrough Video Series:
1. Emotional Neglect: How to Recognize it, Why it’s Invisible, And How it Affects You | Dr. Jonice Webb:
2. Emotional Neglect: 4 Subtle but Painful Things You May Have Missed Growing Up | Dr. Jonice Webb
3. Emotional Neglect: How it Can Make it Hard to Recognize Your Emotions | Dr. Jonice Webb
4. Emotional Neglect: 5 Ways it can Affect Your Emotional Intelligence | Dr. Jonice Webb
5. Emotional Neglect: How to Connect with Yourself and Find Your Voice | Dr. Jonice Webb
6. Emotional Neglect: What Most Therapists Don’t Know and How to Find One Who Does | Dr. Jonice Webb
7. Emotional Neglect: Use These 10 Affirmations to Reparent Yourself | Dr. Jonice Webb
8. Emotional Neglect: Lack of Self-Discipline? It might be Self Neglect Instead | Dr. Jonice Webb
9. Emotional Neglect: How it Impacts Your Love Relationships | Dr. Jonice Webb
10. Emotional Neglect: Jumpstart Your Healing by Doing These 3 Things | Dr. Jonice Webb

00:00 Introduction
00:50 The Root Cause
02:40 Examples of Feelings
04:00 Reconnecting to Feelings
07:10 Shift View of Emotions
09:30 Pay Attention to Feelings

[jenniferpeeso]

Interesting timing. I’ve recently been lamenting that my family never asks how I am. Then I realized, I can ask others how they are but I don’t check in with myself. So I started an evening journaling practice where I ask myself these four questions-
1. How am i?
2. What am I feeling?
3. What do I need?
4. How can I help myself?
Slowly but distinctly recognizing my feelings 🎉

[richardherron]

For the first time in my CEN life, I've gotten some concrete info on how to get past my problems. Both books helped me understand CEN, and yes there were some good tools in the books. But not enough for me to get past some of my problems. This video opened up one more tool for me - if I can manage once a day, checking on my feelings, maybe I can recover enough to start enjoying my life again. Not just living, but enjoying.

[cfjohnson]

When I was in school, I divided things up ... if I did well on a test, I would celebrate (quietly). At home, I would say nothing. Any emotions (positive or negative) were dangerous at home.

[BloomByCC]

1) learn all you can about CEN (this will validate your experience).
2) Change your relationship with your emotions, start to be curious about your feelings (they are a gift, your bodies way of communicating with your brain❤)
3) Deliberately pay attention to your feelings! Three times a day, pause and ask yourself, what am i feeling right now?

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!! Your videos have given me an AHA! Moment in my life! I just DID NOT KNOW that emotions were so so important and I've been in therapy and 12 step programs for decades! I started using a feeling check in app the times a day and it's so amazing... I use How We Feel, wow. After just a few days, I find myself checking in on my and others emotions more often, just acknowledging how I feel helps honor them. ❤❤❤

[uraniidumbra]

Holy wow, even just starting to try this method for the first time, I can feel my eternally tense jaw start to unclench and my shoulders start to drop.

You're on to something here.

[kaitlananderson]

Could you do a video about how childhood emotional neglected could impact self confidence as an adult? Specifically how the lack of early and accurate childhood mirroring hinders the development of a secure sense of self and confidence in ones abilities. Thank you so much for your very important content.

[detayl]

I remember growing up and as a young adult not knowing how I was supposed to feel in certain situations. It was odd not knowing how to feel.

[vickyhut]

I happened onto your account and finally feel like I figured out what is “wrong “ with me.. so thankful for finding your work.. have both your books and reading them now! Feel like I went from living in pastel colours to seeing everything in bold colour.. having feelings of pure relief!! It is Exactly as you say.. it’s not what happened it’s what didn’t happen 💖💖

[dianabowen]

Discovered a trauma from childhood being startled by my front door opening feeling sheer terror throughout my whole body like an electric shock.then feeling anger so after inquiring where this might of come from I had a flashback to my scary father and his temper.i acknowledged this as a memory and the surge of panic left my body and I felt alone more calmed down and present in myself. It really feels like healing intrusive thoughts with those reactive states.

[ginnywalker]

Interesting what you shared today; I've been doing something very similar to this since I was quite young and felt I needed to put words to define my stress. Not too many years ago, a co-worker made some unkind comment about what I feeling (don't remember the exact circumstances), but I do remember what I told her, and that was "they are my feelings and I'm entitled to them." That put an end to the criticism I was receiving for how I was feeling. I'm very thankful that you have put a definition to what I've experienced in my life and I thank you for that.

[kathleenpatel]

When I tapped in I found stress and hypervigilance and derrogatory messages to myself about what was going on, and my mind thought I was relaxing. I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Very interesting!

[capngrace]

I feel like you just gave me the recipe for the nourishment I've been looking for, but unable to describe, for my whole life. Thank you so much

[carolknapp]

I am 79 years old and have at least 15 out of 20 of the symptoms. I have been to therapists over the years and it always helped a little because someone talked to me and listened to me.
I don’t remember adults talking to me as a child even when I was in school. We moved every year so I didn’t make close friends.
I thought I had something. Really wrong with me, no one asked how I was and I don’t know how I am, depression was with me most of my life. Sometimes I would have a week or two when I felt normal.
My mom was a nice person but I never knew where she was. I never learned to ask questions. Didn’t know it was an option.
Thank you for the information. When I first discover you and realize that other people had these problems, I felt better immediately !!
It was good to know I wasn’t the only one, but now I struggle trying to figure out what I’m feeling. All these years wow, I have 3 children and grandchildren that love me and I see that I made some of the same mistakes with them. I was more present and involved with them .
Anyway, thank you! I wish I knew about this sooner!
Carol Knapp

[Ken-ki]

I'm a highly sensitive person and I think I suffered childhood emotional neglect to some degree; I've meditating since I was 15 and it helped me to get in touch with my inner self again and gain self knowledge. However it was my first relationship that kickstarted my healing process, I learned to be ok with expressing my feelings and crying, my ex suffered from anxiety and low self esteem and it was painful to see her go that way, it made me start reflecting on my own relationship with myself and how destructive some thought processes can be.
It's been 10 years since we broke up and the journey hasn't been easy but after listening to your video I realize how far I've come on my healing journey and it gives me strength to keep pushing.

Now my problem is more with others, mainly I don't feel the need to socialize and avoid it as much as I can, I feel disconnected and apart from others as if I were an alien, and I feel as if I'm condemned to be single for the rest of my life because I have the impression women don't even look at me. I consider myself average looking, I train every day and I practice arts and philosophy on my free time, so I know it's not that I don't have anything going on for me; any suggestions to help me reconnect with others, and most importantly to have a romantic life?

[Discovery_and_Change]

0:58 We have a wall we built in childhood to block emotions
1:25 As adults, we don't need the wall
1:33 It blocks our energy, motivation, direction, guidance, connection
1:58 Feelings carry messages. They are physical and you're meant to feel/experience them
4:13 Learn to listen to your feelings and use them

5:26 #1 Learn all you can about childhood emotional neglect

7:07 #2 Change your relationship with your emotions (don't view them as bad or avoid them)
9:00 Be curious about (interested in) your feelings

9:37 #3 Start paying attention to your feelings, at least 3 times a day

[roxanekalmus]

Thank you very much for the helpful videos you give us.

If I may give a bit of advice on the audio : I noticed the audio of your last few videos is only ever on the left side (left "channel") and it is a bit of a problem if someone watches them with headphones/left and right speakers.

This is a common problem and it's pretty easy to fix : check your mic settings (or camera recording settings, depending on what you use to film) to see if it is set on "stereo" recording. If it is, set it on "mono" (or "1 channel") recording. The reason being that you presumably have only one mic and the stereo recording setting is made for multiple mics. So right now the info is only being sent on the left, instead of being dispatched to both sides like it should.

Hope this helps !

[Partyplaylistmdp]

Thank you for sharing this information! I think the hardest part is thinking there was some wrong with me for decades and then finding out it was all due to emotional neglect. Now to break down those walls!

[aiminbara]

I am one of the person you with your work change my life and the relationship with my son and husband. I apreciate you too much. You are the mom I always wanted. You are my mon😊❤. All your words validate my heart.

[errorforever]

Thank you so much for making these videos. I really didn't have any idea about what an emotional neglect is until finally decided to research about what's wrong with me. I often feel like I don't relate to my family members. Even when I am with them i somehow distance myself from them without even realise that I did, which was really an shocking for me because the family is supposed to be there for you whenever you are in need of them and I was blaming myself for not having my family members to support me whenever I needed them to. Because I was distancing myself from them without my knowledge. Being aware of this is because of the emotional neglect I feel relieved from the stress that I was having. I will make great efforts to understand more about this and do whatever I can to break that wall between me and my feelings. So that finally I can face what really it is and learn to manage them to live a happy, fulfilled life❤.

[sallybrady]

One thing I always wondered about is why I can go from 0 to 100 on the anger scale in a minute or two. Realize I have buried my childhood anger but it erupts for the smallest of reasons. Then of course I feel guilt for screaming at my husband who looks bewildered. Just found your videos today so am extremely grateful to have some tools. Also, I was looking for the questionnaire re ECN but can’t seem to find it.