How to make ISTPs feel loved

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#ISTP #mbti #16personalities #myersbriggs #16types

[giovannafernandes]

INFJs answers were complete psychological analysis meanwhile ISTPs be just like "pls just don't bother us and sometimes hug" 💀💀

[aprilw]

My ISTP husband is the lowest maintenance person I know (and I love him for it). To make him feel loved just don't hassle him, don't play emotional games- say what you mean plainly and know that he'll do the same. And don't try to manipulate or you'll get major pushback. Water and feed daily for best results.

[lurker]

As a female ISTP, I relate so much to the "don't force us to be emotional", it's not exactly because we're not good with Fe, it's because it's micro-managing, controlling and insincere. There seems to be highly-sociable types who seem to NEED everyone to APPEAR to be in the kind of mood they want. I'll give a hug and this type will complain that I haven't given it for long enough or didn't squeeze enough. I'll be texting and they'll complain that I should sound more caring or add "friendlier" emojis. They'll be annoyed that I'm not smiling as much as they want or acting in a bubbly way. This is even worse when you're a woman, there's just some people who take it as a personal insult if I'm not giggling and baking cookies for them. I'm caring and cheerful with people that have earned it, not when they demand it and act like a sad puppy or are passive-aggressive. Making people act a certain way is not going to make them actually feel that way.

[audreyhowler]

I definitely need space, but I also feel more valued when loved ones actually really listen when I speak. Because I'm a great listener myself, and I don't speak just for the sake of speaking; it means I actually have something to say. - ISTP

[otterinaballgown]

INFJ with ISTP husband.
I'd sum it up like this (in a bulleted list for any ISTP'S reading 😁):

1. All people want to be acknowledged and appreciated by those they've chosen to trust. The method may vary, but that's the crux of the issue.
2. Their not showing feelings doesn't mean they don't have feelings. Be as courteous as you would with anyone.
3. They like to help, and take harsh words related to their attempts VERY personally. Guard your words and be tactful.
4. They're not physically complicated, but they are mentally complex. Just ask. And if you do, LISTEN. Actively. It's amazing how many people don't.
5. All the ones I've met love food and being able to just sit, apparently doing nothing. What they're doing is recharging. Feed them and leave them be.

That's about it. See them as people, and not robotic, John Wick-type characters.
You'll be pleasantly surprised at what you find.

[homesweetplanet]

As an ISTP woman, this is 100% spot on. Before you got to the first point, I was like "SPACE!!" and that was the top answer. <3 And the "I told you so" reasoning from adults as a child infuriated me, so whenever I give ANYONE instructions on anything, I always give them the reasoning behind it. Even with my cat. He has actually learned what "Don't touch that or you'll get an ouch!" means.

[jaxgorgeous]

Suggestion for those who wanted to be around an ISTP:

STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH AND TELL US CLEARLY WHAT YOU WANT.

Im tired to be called dense lol. I actually not, but if they didnt ask me straight to do something i wont do anything either. It's not worth the efforts.

[CandaceDesignedStore]

For my ISTP husband, he LOVES being acknowledged/appreciated. UGH! As an INFJ, I have to literally force myself to constantly tell him, "I appreciate XYZ that you did." He loves that. I find it ridiculous, but I do it anyway. I mean.. something as little as "I appreciate that you took the trash out." or "Thank you for picking up the mail on your way inside." He loves being acknowledged. "Wow, that was a great sandwich, the best one yet." Etc. etc..He wants his employer to do the same, too, whenever he gets the highest sales quota for the month or even the day, he would love if someone came in and told him they appreciate him. He tries to do it to me, but I just don't need that much attention given to me when I do something so mundane, or even exciting for that matter. :)
He also LOVES to come to the rescue. Anytime he is called upon to fix something, he obliges without complaint and especially likes when he is "acknowledged" for it afterwards. ;)

[jimclayson]

In my experience (as an INTP)? Hand the ISTP a cold bottle of their preferred beer and don't crowd or pressure them. ISTPs are great (again, from this INTP's perspective). Their needs are few and simple. Treat them with honesty and respect and listen to what they have to say. One of the easiest types to get along with.

EDIT: Seriously, ISTPs are just really easy to work with. They pick up hands-on skills and knowledge very quickly and generally start out ahead of the curve in those areas. Be clear with what you want done and the parameters you expect them to operate within, and as long as you treat them with honesty and fairness, they'll deliver. They're rarely demanding (although even ISTPs can have a bad day), and even when they are, they're usually just frustrated and need to feel like someone's actually listening to their point of view. It takes a lot to push an ISTP into a really unreasonable state. Some of the best people I ever worked with were ISTPs (with ESFJs being a very close second).

[stephenmichaud]

"Don't force us in to meaningless social interactions"
ISTP here
I find this funny as to us all social interactions are meaningless but I also understand that there are types that have this as their primary function.

What a dynamic.

[Dedo]

INTJ female here. My husband is an ISTP & all of these are spot on. Thank you for investing your time in doing and reporting your research! 😘

[NoticeMeSenpaiii]

ISTPs are pretty much impossible for me to understand as an ENFP, so this content is super helpful! I can't wait to help my ISTP brother know he's loved and valued ❤

Also, it took my brother 22 years to open up to me about his emotions, so don't underestimate how long it might take your ISTP to be vulnerable with you.

[katrinamurray]

I've found that ISTP's love when you make room for them. So spend a day with them doing what they enjoy, make them comfortable, listen to them, and engage. Once they are warmed up, they tend to be way more open.
Also, they admire persons who are capable of communicating a lot of emotional depth and are emotionally vulnerable. They have a hard time doing that. They can learn, but it's may not be as smooth as those who are feeling dominant.

[Poofart]

My istp friend feels loved when people gives back what he gives to others as it shows focus, istps are very focused people and give you their full attention and expect the same back, such as paying attention to what they have to say and showing that you are by engaging and asking meaningful questions, it shows you’re on the same energy as them and they really appreciate it because not many people are on their energy. You have to let them be alone and do their own thing but also give them your full attention at the same time. Their minds kinda work like this ‘if a person is taking up my time it has to be worthwhile and meaningful otherwise its time wasted on illogical meaninglessness’

As an istp i would say, BEING IN THE MOMENT is the KEY thing for us. I've had some ex girlfriends who were always on their phones, or being too abstract and shut inside their own heads, like, sometimes moments you think are "CUTE" or "ROMANTIC" like admiring the sky, daydreaming, or stuff like that, can get really awkward really quickly when after you were on your phone you start looking at the sky and start daydreaming or just start thinking about theories or abstract concepts and just thinking outloud only to yourself (INTPS, worst relationship ever), that can get pretty awkward, boring and even disrespectful. Like, yeah i can "look at the sky" and have some deeper convo with you, for sure, but lets have an actual conversation, where we exchange ideas, instead of just weirdly mumbling stuff as im not even present, just an observer... thats... ugh. i've had other relationships with what i believe are ESFX girls, and they were just too much of the time on their phones, or talking 80% of their friends, or what their weekend plans are with their BIG group of friends, and then when we are together, still on the phone talking with her friends... ugh... its tiring. Worst situation, annoying and awkward for an istp is for us to be in a place or situation when we are not actually, physically, or purposely needed, like we could be literally doing whatever in another place and nobody would notice, thats just.. ugh, why am i even here wasting my time then?

[viktoria]

This is spot on for my ISTP hubby. Leave him alone. Definitely don't speak to him in the morning until he speaks first. Give him tons of space. Listen with complete attention when he does give any info. Warn him well in advance if you need him to do something, not that he will warn you more than 15 minutes. Ask for walks if you want time with him. Occasionally suggest something you see that might work nicely with his interests. He will immediately veto it but appreciates the effort. Don't give any advice. -ISFJ

[CineShinya]

Asking the types directly and getting answers from many different people with a common ground, prevents from making just assumptions based on your personal point of view on them. What I love about Dear Kristin is that she doesn't have a surface stereotypical approach of the types, but she brings actual evidence. I think the fact she is an extrovert has given her the chance to associate with people of each type and have experience of how they act in real life. And videos like these helps us all understand the others better and not assume their needs based on our own mentality.
Thank you for that (ISFJ)

[emilys]

Almost every bit of this is accurate to my awesome ISTP mom! The only exceptions are the things about not wanting to talk a lot or listen to others talk -- she is a REAL chatterbox, and I am as well! I'm ISFP, so it's really funny to have two very outgoing introverts in the family. But we definitely are outgoing (friendly, chatty, un-shy), and we definitely are introverts (need lots of time alone for projects, reading, and just downtime in general). We confuse a lot of people. 🤪 But thanks to MBTI, at least now we have the proper terms to explain our innate traits and our idiosyncrasies! Our biggest bonding point is through projects and adventures!! Find us renovating each others' homes on the regular, followed by spontaneous breaks to hit the beach, hike a forest trail, or go shopping to find the perfect home decor, most efficient tools and gadgets, and most delicious foods! Another commonality between us that is possibly surprising: we absolutely love speaking with the perfect analogies and metaphors! That's probably a product of our tertiary Ni. We truly have fun with verbal imagery and comparisons!
Anyway, that's all for now, but I hope this is interesting and sheds a light on the diversity available from each type! She and I definitely fall within the parameters of our respective types, but we have outlying traits that might be surprising. Tis humanity! ❤️

[linacarmilla]

I really feel the one that says you shouldn't dig for deeper meanings behind our words. As an ISTP woman, I hate hearing men misinterpreting me because "well, you girls don't actually mean what you say, do you?" Even women would mistake me declining things as an act out of politeness.

Point is, I rarely feel like I'm taken seriously. So, to make me feel loved, definitely listen to me, consider my advice, and don't make me feel like my resolutions are baseless.

Lastly, please stop taking our quiet personality as a cue to trauma dump.

[CAM-kgic]

From another ISTP, this video does a great job of describing my basic needs in a relationship, and from humanity in general.