What does an ISTP need most when searching for a romantic relationship? | CS Joseph Responds

CS Joseph responds to the question what does an ISTP need most when searching for a romantic relationship?

Psychoanalyzing and video games collide:

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[MaysField]

1. Someone who listens to them, sticks around, loyal
2. Give them space and freedom to do stuff
3. Someone who values them, makes them No.1 priority

[sage]

I (Istp woman) am in a relationship with and Intp man - the first man I met so incredibly smart that actually makes me feel dumb at times. He is extremely loyal, he listens (and REMEMBERS what I say even if I forget), he gives me my space and always respects my opinions. And one more thing that I never experienced before - whenever I have to make a choice between two things that I like/want, he always says: "Why can't we have both"

[pietart]

I really like how Chase goes from "An ISTP needs loyalty" to "they are the majority of who end up in jail" 😂

[LinYouToo]

My ISTP dad was 25 when he married my 30 year old ESFJ mom. They were both very loyal. Made it 62 years together until dad passed away.

[HuKayers]

It’s kinda funny how if I don’t sense that a woman values me or anything I don’t really even notice them, in a dating capacity. It doesn’t register to me at all, until I literally have this girl glued to my hip smiling in my damn face telling how much she like when I do this & that, asking me to show her all the random stuff I do while constantly asking about what I think etc etc. It’s the consistency that kinda guilts me into going “You know what, Imma just look after this idiot” lol - I do find it endearing tho (despite my condescending tone)

[Egoistevo]

I’m a INFP woman with a ISTP man and let me tell you… one hell of a ride. We are complete opposites besides us being introverted. I’m very emotional and he’s all calm, logical and collected. For example, we could be talking about something and he’ll ask a yes or no question but I feel the need to give an explanation on why I’m choosing what I’m choosing and he’ll sit there with a look and be like, “So is that yes.. or no?” Like, I already answered in my rant. Is it not obvious?

If there’s a problem within our relationship, he’ll instantly prioritize fixing it. I guess you could say he’s a nurturer too with how he’s always babying me when I feel like I’m not getting enough.

I was told that he literally likes me because I’m so understanding and nice with everyone. He says I’m pure. The thing he loves most about me is my kindness.
He does hate other people so I guess he tolerates me and my baby ways. Lol

[MoosefNorway]

I love how ISTP's are supposed to be excused from responsability, but they demand someone loyal back.

[Cincy]

I'm ISTP and I've never been in jail but I've broken the law a lot and have been arrested many times, certainly a miracle that I've never caught a charge, but I know how to talk to people correctly when needed, it's just a matter of motivation - keeping out of jail is great motivation lol.

[jaredvaughan]

According to the mbti manual 75% of ISTPs and 73% of INTPs are men. That means Ti hero is the most masculine of all the cognitive functions.

[gemmabanks]

Infj here, been with an ISTP for 15 years… it’s been a crazy ride. 😅 I’m fairly sure he’s stuck with me because he IS my everything. 🥰

[dorisw]

My boyfriend is an ISTP..and I can only see him watching this if I asked him nicely or he was in a mood where he wants to impress me (his Infp gf) but afterwards he would hop on his motorcycle and get ice cream and forget the whole thing. Lol

[annadang]

INFP here. I had hung out with an ISTP, made him my priority for >3 months getting to know him, and support him in his endeavors. I didn't invade his space and let him do his own thing (it was great because I like my own space too). I really like communicating with him and learning from him. Always inspired by his views and 'hard work' approach to life. However, when it came to asking him where this friendship/relationship was heading, he froze on me and told me he was too busy for anything. This hurt me because I wanted a bit more direction to plan my life and move forward if there is a chance with him even if its the slightest hint. Maybe we didn't communicate in a way where I felt my need was met too because I knew how much he loved his projects. I don't like putting my life on hold for people who are unsure and he ultimately chose friendship in the end. Little did he know INFPs only has room for a special few in their inner circle, so I stopped focusing on him and started looking elsewhere. Sigh...I really liked that ISTP!

[HuKayers]

Fyi idk if this is for every ISTP but if you want to avoid me loyalty testing you, lots and lots of physical affection will do, guy or girl. I’ll test the words you say but I’ll never deny any physical contact; as long as you aren’t drawing attention to it & being weird (And you’re not trying to shank me....or pick pocket me). Buuutt that might just be me, so proceed with caution

[EarthenCavy]

Oh my god, ahaha... I am in the strangest marriage. I'm an INFP-T, and my husband is an ISTP. People say we shouldn't work, but we do, and you know why? That thing, right there, that you said about making him my number one priority. He is my absolute life. We are both really introverted as far as being a couple of hermits, but I never shackle him to my hip or boss him around. Our relationship is very much...well, let's just say he wears the pants. 💖 And, I'm more than okay with it. We're pretty awesome.

[digitalmaximpact]

I'm ispt men and I feel..
I want partner
1. Loyal
2. Honest
3. Romantic
4. Logical
5. No drama
6. Talk to the point
7. Don't argue with me if you can't prove it.
8. Be royal no show-off
9. I'm honest and loyal by heart.

[binkao]

I’ve been talking to a presumed ISTP for 5 months online. Separated by an ocean during the pandemic. It’s going at a snails pace with how reserved and private he is, but I really feel pulled towards him and sense so much potential there. He feels like he could really compliment me and there’s so much about him that I admire. I’m almost never attracted to anybody, so I’m willing to put in some work and suck up some frustration for this one. My friends are telling me I have the patient of a saint with him 😅 Things might’ve gone differently if I hadn’t attempted to type him and looked into the type more. I want to thank you for all this information. Truly helpful. I feel like I can handle him so much better now. We’re about the same age and I’m an INFJ, but as for the other criteria I’m pretty sure I can deliver if I end up getting the chance.

[CRlifeisgood]

This is absolutely true about the ISTP needing to be first priority. I have been married to one for 14 years and being an INTJ and being interested in many things I can have the tendency to make my interests a priority so I struggle on a daily basis to make HIM a prioriry. Then again, i also *KNOW* how hard it is for an INTJ woman to be married to an emotionally healthy alpha so I value him in my life and will do anything to keep him in my life.
Because he returns my efforts with love which is what women want at the end. All I want is to be loved and adored.
Other INTJ women have grilled me in the past saying he doesn't respect me because I drop what I am doing and go do what he wants/where he wants (and hence I never reach my "potential"). But I don't care because I am loved.❤

[Esiaa]

I'm an ISTP woman and all I want from a man is to listen to me and respect me. They do not need to agree with me on everything, just to respect what I say. My last boyfriend did not do that, basically redirecting every conversation onto himself and what he wanted. I can manage that a little, especially at the beginning, but after a time it just annoyed the hell out of me and I lost all respect for him.

[barrydworak]

In what universe are SJs about letting other people do what they want?

[chesleysnotebook]

Do you know what's most annoying to me as an ISTP??? We are highly multifaceted people however we are often seen as one-dimensional. Which is of course the easiest concussion to come to, so that’s why most people subscribe to that idea. Which is super annoying🙄. I don’t know why I have the feeling that if people just THOUGHT a little harder that they would easily understand us, but they literally refuse soo🤷🏾‍♀️ It would literally help them soothe most of their insecurities concerning us but again they refuse... or lack the ability to do so. (This is said in the sweetest way possible lol🤍 srry if it sound insensitive)