4 Steps to Improve your Body Image: How to Stop Hating Your Body - Interview with Amy Harman, CEDS

Get the course: 4 Steps to Improve Body Image

Today I'm interviewing Amy Harman, Certified Eating Disorder Specialist, on how to improve your body image. How you think about and talk about your body is like a relationship. If you hate your body or speak harshly towards it, it is like an abusive relationship.
But you can improve your body image, you can learn to see past the lies of social media and advertising, to stop comparing yourself to others, and start to treat your body with love and respect. You really can learn to improve your body image.

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
----

[ShesMongolianASMR]

I used to have the internal dialogue of a drill sergeant — always so harsh on myself. Since I was a child I was always chubby and people — both adults and kids — never let me forget it. I starved myself, got surgeries, went to all kinds of extremes to look better. But now, I’ve learned to recognize that drill sergeant internal voice, acknowledge it, and replace it. I’m much kinder and forgiving to myself, just as I would be to a friend going through something like this. I don’t expect myself to fit into these extreme beauty standards anymore. I allow myself to be human. Whenever I have a moment of self-cruelty, I try to think to myself, “What would Emma say to me in this situation?” And it helps a lot. Thank you so unbelievably much for all that you do. The ripples of your warmth and wisdom travel far and wide.

[toothpastehombre]

You can hate your body beyond even image - pain, fatigue, loss of ability or performance, disease and sexual identity come to mind. Sometimes it is not just about appearance or self-image, but about how one feels or functions

[rebeccaarcher]

At 40 (20 years ago) I had a surgery and immediately gained 60 lbs! It was a horrible experience due to a hormonal imbalance. One day, I was sitting there, in great physical pain from the extended recovery, watching a rerun of all things, of “Baywatch”!! I became aware of my own self talk and it was terribly abusive! I could not believe that I was talking to myself in that negative way! It is hard to fight the criticism from within and without. Sixty pounds is enough to change your self image if you let it! Scary how much value we put on the physical person!

[tinac]

I've been learning about body neutrality, where you focus on what your body can do, rather than what it looks like. And when I say "what your body can do", I mean within the entire spectrum of every physical body, including the limits some of us have. It bothered me when this video mentioned "ugly" people or "beautiful" people. I hope eventually we can learn to view eachother as equal beings, encouraging one another to share skills and experiences, rather than judge one another (or ourselves) on our outward appearances. I'm trying to view myself and others like I did when I was three years old. With a sense of wonder, and with a certain amount of obliviousness. ❤️

[donnabolt]

This is huge issue for many! I'm sure men struggle as well but
I know women carry so much hurt. Their breasts too small or too big and gross looking, being on our menstrual cycles and how nasty that is, breastfeeding is looked down on I can go on. Haters gonna hate.

We HAVE to speak loving words to ourselves. Our body hears it.

Our bodies are truly amazing. We bring life into the world.

We are enough!!! Please love yourself because when your body gets an autoimmune disease or some other chronic illness you would do anything to have your health back.

Thanks Emma!!!! 😊

[BeYourUniquePotential]

We can show up just as we are and focus on what we want from life. What we focus on we become and in any moment we can choose to think supportive or nurturing thoughts about ourselves. To make a new way forwards, practising appreciating ourselves throughout the day can really help. Becoming a good friend to ourselves is a great way to build trust which builds confidence as we begin to believe our own words. Practising a calm bedtime routine, morning ritual, all these little things add up to a better mindset, and feeling more balanced in our emotions. Thank you Emma and Amy.

[daintytreasures]

It's so true. We wouldn't say those mean degrading comments to a good friend. "Love your neighbor as you love yourself" means we need to love ourselves.

[mihaelaclaudiap..]

I will have to be honest, I never hated my body not even when I had few extra kg. That is something i am very proud of, that is that I always had the capacity to love my body the way it is. Great topic and very relevant indeed!

[nope...........]

This video is saving my life (not in a mornid way but in a healthy lifestyyle way), right now. So needed to find this.

[marlene]

I have daughters with eating disorders, they don't use shameful talk to help motivate them to lose weight... it is a deep feeling of shame that drives their negative talk and veiw of themselves. Thank you for speaking on this topic!

[adshar]

I’m not sure how but even after everything I’ve suffered in this life, one thing has remained constant, i love my body. I love the way it looks even when i pack on a few extra pounds. I’ve never understood this concept of hating your body. I used to think it was an American thing due to all the media’s bs here but now i know it’s more common around the world.

[rohwermusicstudios]

I try to talk to my string students about objective self talk. I personally have noticed in my personal practice that negative self talk actually makes my progress and development slower. If you don’t have that objectivity, you can’t think through practice solutions as easily.

Thanks, you guys!

[maureenharrop]

EXCELLENT program! Thank you both for this!!! I’m 73 yrs young & I STILL have body shame! But now I have great “tools” to work on this issue in a healthy way! Thanks again! 💖

[lucie]

that was so healing to hear, it’s like I’ve been craving these words

[fujiokakujo]

11:36 yes, this really hit me.
i am more than my body, i can enjoy life without stressing over how i look, my weight or whatever about my look.
i deserve to be happy and im loved ❤

[domisthebomb]

I was having a bad body image day. I feel so uplifted. I am going to come up with body positivity affirmations

[lilybee]

I've been hard on myself about how I look but I tell myself I'm my best in this moment as long as I have a positive attitude. I tell myself I'm beautiful

[elin_]

The media and Social media are big reasons for our distorted body images.

I'm soooo harsh on myself all the time.

[Xcjcjdjdkdfgkgkvkckr]

I have a question, how do we know people weren’t feeling this way about their bodies 100, even 1000 years ago? How do we know it isn’t an intrinsic part of our subconscious, for whatever reason? Even before we had social media there is evidence in historical literature showing that humans have been feeling as though our bodies are not in its ideal state. In Victorian era, where heavier set women were the ideal image, there were many many women who felt as if they were too thin. They were still body shamed by men. It’s interesting to me how you can speak on body image while simultaneously using terms like “average looking people” and “amazing looking people” when the entire idea of this conversation is to help those feel more comfortable in their own skin, telling people that you can love your image no matter what you look like but you’re still using the idea that there is a generally accepted idea of certain people being inherently more attractive than others.
Maybe the issue isn’t that we may have distorted thinking, maybe most people are just painfully aware of the bodies we’ve been born into and how we’re interpreted by society and those around us. Maybe we just KNOW we’re either average or below average looking, maybe we know there will always be people who look better than us. When considering these concepts, it makes me wonder if we’re all struggling with some form of dysmorphia or if it’s just reality and we’re not happy with that reality.

[suzanchristiaanse]

Great video. It really makes me think what are moments I have negative self-talk about my body, it’s really when im struggling with other things. And it helps to be aware! You can feel so much better without actually changing your body. It also helps not to watch a lot of tv, I have no insta, Facebook and I don’t buy magazines. I can only image how it is for people to deal with this constant bombardement of images in the media.