The Narcissists' Code 469- You dont have to forgive the narcissist for the things they do to you

You dont have to forgive the narcissist for the things they do to you. Narcissists view constant forgiveness and reconciliation as permission to continue the behaviors

Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.

The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.

Thank you so much

[shari]

My former narc acted as if I had to forgive him. I am now 3 months no contact. I may forgive him in time, but he is now God’s problem. Right now I am choosing to focus on myself.

[jjones]

Eventually I'll forgive him in my heart, but I will NEVER have contact with him again or allow him back into my life!

[KosmicN.]

He is 100% correct. He is telling the truth and I mean verbatim. Regardless of the fact that Lee is a Narc. My ex Narc cried and asked for multiple chances just like that. They don’t care about you at all. It is all an act. Your Narc is faking and will future fake you to manipulate you consistently. Your Narc is only with you for the benefits and / or narcissistic supply.

Love you more than you love and / or like them. Make the decision to leave and keep on moving on with your life because your time on earth is limited.

[sabrinaruss]

True Lee! I’m a living witness, You can forgive BUT, YOU DO NOT Have to Reconcile! Protect Yourself! Thank you Lee for Speaking Truth!

[adriancampbell]

You can forgive, don’t forget, and release them with love and light and stay away from them. Everyone is not meant to be in your life forever. Get the lesson and move on.

[casper]

People have the wrong concept of forgiveness. They confuse it with reconciliation. Forgiveness is for the person who was offended so they don't have to live the rest of their life with hatred in their hearts. Always forgive and move on to heal. NEVER EVER RECONCILE with the narc!!!!

[anncrosby]

I forgive myself first and formost it a personnel choice 💯

[beautyqueenbee]

My narc x used to tell me I didn't have God in my heart because I didn't want to forgive, forget and move on with our marriage. Some lines are crossed that cannot be undone and I finally understood that. Once I went through my divorce I felt such a relief that I no longer had to live like that or hear those things anymore

[DogGoneYouTube]

i agree with you 100%.. i forgave and went NO CONTACT for my health.. forgive but do not go back!!

[pambrowno]

I’ve been learning SO much from you. Addicts and narcissists are similar in their behavior, manipulation, and how lying come so easily to them. It blows my mind.

[teresacotton]

What we'll need to remember is whether they are family or not....leave any toxic relationship. I forgive for myself, but will never trust again.

[sparkle]

Forgiving a narcissist is a gift you give to yourself. It helps you to heal from all that the narcissist has put you through; it helps you to get them out of you head for good. But...forgiving a narcissist is a completely separate process from *reconciling* with them. In order for you to reconcile with them, the narcissist would need to (1) feel true remorse--which is really hard for them to do--and state in specific terms what it is that they did to harm you, (2) they would need to repent of those bad behaviors--and that includes demonstrating over time that they are not falling into bad patterns of behavior again, and (3) they would need to communicate honestly with you, listen to your point of view, and reach an agreement with you on the path forward. That's the "reconciliation" part. All of this will sound like too much work to a narcissist. So, expect to be shunned instead.

[ginadeshano]

I'm 15 months NO. Contact. It was hard st first, but ABSOLUTELY the only way to heal, find a New you and rebuild your life. The recent 3 months have been easy and becoming Indifferent💪😁💃, but I will NOT FORGIVE this person. I forgave myself for not being aware of red flags and lack of knowledge of the cycles of Narcissistic behavior.

[punk]

My narc will never acknowledge or apologize for his emotional abuse and neglect, and I will never forgive him. I've worked through the trauma and released it from holding me down. There's no anger or resentment toward him. But I will never forgive him

[chloelageaux]

As a believer, you HAVE to forgive ppl and yourself! Yes, this is the ABSOLUTE HARDEST thing that you will have to do! However, you DO NOT have to allow these ppl in your life ever again! If they somehow manage to apologize in the future just say ok and keep it moving! You don't owe them anything just keep living your life! Forgiveness DOES NOT mean reentry!!!!

[momikal]

Y’all, he is my favorite narcissist so…yeah. When you write rude comments to him, you absolutely are not speaking for me.

Also, there are other YouTube channels that you might prefer instead. I mean, he’s letting us know how they think. Outstanding and extremely helpful to me. Thanks, Lee! You rock.

[cianalewis]

That hit blasphemy by giving your soul to a person. So true! Thanks for everything you do! It's so helpful and appreciated 👍

[marjn]

Forgiveness has nothing to do with the predator but the victim forgiving and detaching him or herself mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically from that person to experience true freedom from God. Attached to unforgivenrss is anger, bitterness, hate, ect. dark emotions that cause a person to not progress but stay on a mentally and emotionally, etc treadmill. People carry their abuser around 24/7 along with toxic memories toward them. To get rid of all of it you must forgive.

[drebugsita]

Exactly!!! They take any reconciliation as ammunition to keep doing what they did, usually amping it up and making it more violent blaming you even more. This is such an important topic and you covered it so well! One of if not your best video yet IMO

[dms]

Yes you do! While you are by yourself and no one is watching. Yes, and no face to face recollncilation is needed. Lee you are showing me that I and all of us hurt by this personality disorder DOES NOT HAVE TO BRING THIS FORGIVENESS TO THE SURFACE JUST TO FORGIVE THEM. No going back! Just know Lee you are a light in the darkness; God works thir you you to help is understanding the Narc situation we are wrestling with. LISTEN TO INFO From the horses mouth. Lee you are awesome and transparent to help us. All ears! you are amazing please don't let anyone slow your role. you have brought me and taught me from the depths of narcissistic behavior and I am grateful for you everyday. I thank God for you everyday Lee. sorry to refer to you as a horse🤣 you do speak the truth so it's coming from a great source. forgiveness is something you can do all by yourself you don't need to reach out and get validation from the north just keep doing you and listening to Lee and you will eventually come to see that to have a bird's eye view we are so grateful for you Lee. anybody that you got something to say about you Lee they can talk to me. thank you and God bless you