How to Tell Your Parents You Think You're Autistic

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[themekfrommars]

I went to a café with just my mum when I was 42. Eventually I broached the topic of autism and she said "I always knew you were autistic". Nice, thanks for watching me struggle my entire life, I thought!

[fruitsalad]

I made them answer a screening test for me, and then showed them the results and then let them know what the test was for

[elieslol]

A while before I got my official diagnosis I told my parents “I have been looking around a bit and I think I might have autism”. My dad responded immediately with “Don’t be dumb, you don’t have autism”. A few months later he was questioning if he as well has autism😀

[shayne_has_landed]

The hardest part about coming out as autistic to your loved ones is that you are also coming out as a marginalized person. You’re telling them that you experience discrimination and microaggressions constantly for being born the way you are. But you’re also having to explain that many of the traits that make you who you are come from the trauma of being a marginalized person. We can’t just come out and say “this is how my brain works”, because in order to do that, we also have to explain stuff like “the reason I found out I’m autistic so late is because of ableism”. Which is painful to say, but also logistically confusing to explain.
Not only are we hitting our loved ones with “surprise I’m genetically different”, we’re also hitting them with “surprise I’m marginalized” at the same time and that’s a lot to take in. Especially when coming out to neurotypicals who aren’t marginalized in any way.

[amberr]

What I did (UK): went to my GP, told them obvious signs of autism without saying its autism with my mum there (who agreed) and just let the GP tell her they think I could be autistic (the GP knowing about a CAMHS appointment where they said I probably had depression, anxiety and autism helped). An AQ-10, a right to choose provider, and 5 months later, got diagnosed at age 17.

[rubenavila]

I grew up in a time where autism wasn’t fully understood and now I wanna people on it once I’ve learned more about autism

[shatteredstarss]

20 years ago, at age 20, I told my mom I thought I was autistic. She said "No you aren't". I just got confirmation that I am autistic. I don't need to have that conversation again.

[pixie]

i already tried the “i think im autistic” talk & i was met with “no, you’re not.” so now i know im autistic - in secret.

[rebeccaburnell]

I'm 51, and I'm getting ready to tell my dad & stepmom (the safest people in my life other than my adult daughter, who already knows) - came to the final realization that I'm autistic back in January when I discovered some pretty critical-for-me ways that some high-masking individuals might meet certain of the DSM criteria that I hadn't felt fit me until then.

"Think about what you struggle with" - omg, this is... yeah, this is absolutely the door I should open to introduce

[boi]

A new Paige video FUCK YES my day got a little bit better

[aribizarri]

my brother was diagnosed at two and has high support needs. i’m in my mid-twenties and don’t plan on telling my parents until i have a formal diagnosis. they would never believe me otherwise.

[Comhead]

Wow just in time because im getting an official screening tomorrow, and I haven't mentioned anything to my parents yet!

[tweedybird]

I’ve always been told by one of my best friends who is autistic that I have autism, but I always was masking when I was out in public now after watching your videos and other autistic creators videos I realize that I shouldn’t mask my disability. I should just embrace it as long as I’m not hurting myself or hurting anybody else, I do a lot of stimming like bouncing my leg, fidgeting rocking back-and-forth, falling, my head back-and-forth pacing back-and-forth, snapping my fingers and so many other things and I have pretty often or I used to have a ton of Autism meltdowns now they’re not as frequent, but they still happen. I don’t like loud noise. Don’t like certain materials and fabricsand textures

[NitFlickwick]

I can confirm what Paige said about feelings over facts when talking about late diagnoses. I’m in my 50s and only identified this year. The conversations with my parents were all about the feelings, what my experience is like. I’m sure my autism is a little of column A and some of column B as I inherited traits from each of my parents, so they probably aren’t autistic (though my mother is borderline on that), but they could relate to experiences I had, and we could use that as a starting point.

[PostTraumaticVictory]

Oh HELL yes, new Paige video for while I prep dinner! 🎉

[purpleguy-bufe]

My parents have a preconceived notion of what autism is. They say I'm to smart to be autistic, I'm to social, I'm to "normal"....( I'm very high masking ) I've found ways to accommodate myself I bought Headphones I have quite time I'm much more easy on myself then I used to be.... When I turn 18 I think I'm going to seek a formal diagnosis myself because my family ( many undiagnosed ADHD and autistics ) just don't understand and I've tried to explain but they don't think I need a "negative" label on my medical family loves me and I won't let this get in-between us but I really wish my parents understood what autism actually is... Thank you page for being such good help on my self diagnoses journey 💜

[itsMe..-]

I remember the first day i started to consider i might be autistic. i researched the traits but didnt give it much thought afterward. the next day after school, my mom told me as she was driving me home from school that she thought i was on the spectrum. im so goad she brought it up first because i likely wouldnt have actually noticed until much later. im diagnosed now as of June

[emxhnth]

I'm currently on the waiting list to be diagnosed, i knew for a few years i could be autisic but i only recently told my therapist a few months ago she helped me tell my mum and my school are now realising that a few years ago when they first thought of doing an autism assessment on me, which they never did, they should have done one sooner as it would have helped me alot in those years.

[jesterr]

I went through this recently. I had always sensed that I was different. Several of my family members are diagnosed, but none of them were diagnosed until the last decade. My nephew is non verbal, but I recognized that we share quite a few behaviors. At 40, I began researching Autism more closely, and it was like a light bulb went off. When I brought it up to my mom, her response shocked me. She just said "I know". As we talked further, she apologized to me. She said that if she had known then what she knows now about Autism, she would have handled things very differently. She said that she began noticing the behaviors herself, but she chalked them up to eccentricity during my childhod, due to my IQ. From spending time with my nephew, she is now familiar with the symptoms. I am still coming to terms with everything, and I feel a mixture of peace and turmoil at the same time. It's hard to explain.

[kushclarkkent]

I've tried a million times, but my parents are just too old and out of touch to understand. They just think I'm weird, which I am. But they don't see me weird in an endearing way. My 4 year old nephew is autistic and they sort of understand him because he's nonverbal. I hate being autistic, but in many ways it's a massive advantage. I just wish people understood or were willing to understand it more.