Is My Therapist TIRED of ME?

Want to Ask a Question PRIVATELY? Ask Diana Here:

Do you ever wonder if your therapist is sick of you? Bored in session? Do you wonder what they think about you? I will talk through this from a therapist's perspective and give my thoughts on why I think this comes up and what I think and feel during a session.

[micheller]

It's also possible that the therapist is experiencing discomfort with what you are discussing or the issue you are presenting with, and there is a genuine pull back which is being accurately read. Therapists sometimes terminate treatment with clients due to this discomfort.

[onlyallegra]

My therapist was sick of me and terminated me. It does happen. It was a slow fade. He stopped listening to me, blamed me for stuff, and instead of helping me with how I felt he said I was too negative and just wanted to blame people. He made me feel like I was all alone with or without him. Guess I should be happy he is gone.

[afterthestorm]

My therapist just out right stop responding to my text or phone calls literally sent me back into a depression for a bit it was really unprofessional

[LL-puqr]

I made a very serious attempt to take my life fairly recently. It evidently was too much for my therapist and now she won't see me anymore

[Moonshinehearts]

My therapist often had moments where she had to step away or cancel sessions for family issues and I always encouraged her to take that time. When I could not make time to schedule appointments or I had my own struggles ex. no wifi during telehealth times, she was unsympathetic and dropped me. It's really intensely bothering me. I tried to reach out to her but the damage had been done. I thought I could reach out when I had the time. So I read a few articles determining the termination was more along the lines of abandonment according to APA guidelines. I left a bad review. I don't know if I'm seeking relief by hurting others but I can say i feel mistreated by this person.

[paulastella]

There’s a definite wall up that my therapist is determined to break. Now, I have talked to him about everything I can think of. He thinks that I am hiding something, what it is I don’t know. He is pushy but I have control. Does he see that?

[healplaylove]

No matter what the issue, it's the therapist's responsibility to do no harm. They are required by law and ethics to not abandon their client, and to refer to another provider if their own counter transference is too much!

[oozingpussbrain]

I bet a therapist wouldn't be bored of my life. It makes the movie "Trainspotting" look like a Disney sitcom.

[montserratdiazsantos]

I remember when five months later of starting therapy, one day she told something like (I can't remember the words exactly) ...maybe I could stop therapy or reduce sessions like if I were ready to leave. And I felt awful at that moment. 'Cause I didn't feel prepared at all. But with that comment I felt rejected, anguished, like if she didn't want me to be there or see me again and like if I didn't care. I know that all of that it's not real but I really felt that way.


And I wasn't capable of saying all these things to her when maybe I should, even though I continue going to therapy 'cause there were much more than anxiety over there: Low self esteem, I talk to me awfully, too much self-commitment, perfectionism...


I'm too shy... So for me it's very difficult to have this kind of conversation with my therapist. That is bad?

[pamelamadore]

I have all the problems that you have pointed out. Afraid that he is bored with me because I have a hard time getting things out. If I get them out in an email, I will refuse to talk about them when I am with him. Stupid

[dannandaeterra]

Yes, but is it likely that they actually are sick of their client?

[BojanPeric-kqet]

One "was in training for therapist" wrote me that if I want somebody to talk to, I should get girl with very low self esteem. How I can expect that "trained and skilled" professional work for free? Well, I don't know about training (reading books for therapists doesn't count), but I saw skills in action, including by some "big shots". Wasting time, wasting money, behave unethically without any consequences... I think it is more than enough that over 20 years since I began my therapy and over 10 years in therapy and "therapy", I am worse compared to when I began.
I know that guys with BPD are trash for therapists. That is okay, I learned from personal experience what therapists really are: emotional prostitutes. And the very fact they can't do in "pay for results" model speaks volume about their confidence in their skills. By the way, reason why female therapists would reject me varied over years, but that is irrelevant, one can always find "good (enough, ha!) reason".
I am sure that you would be very scared if a client would begin to explain you few things about Otto Kernberg's borderline personality organization and then switch to penetrable body organization with examples of cold weapons (which can penetrate human skull very, very easily) with reminder that there are no promises in therapy and that he never promised you anything like safety from cold weapons, firearms, chemical or biological agents or other ways which can seriously harm human body. Or reminder that while you can be near doors and try to run, detonation of small piece of TNT has detonation velocity around 8000 m/s so blast would catch you in less than one millisecond?
What are you afraid of to work on "pay for results" model, especially for BPD? What are you afraid off when you say that a client is "resistant"? Your own inadequacy as a therapist? Or that your "comprehensive" training is actually just empathic listening with few tricks? After all, "therapeutic relationship" is the king, at least according to Mr Safran.
What is your pain point if, under total anesthesia, you got your arm, legs, eyes and tongue amputated? Helen Keller would look like a person with great physical health compared to you.
And if there is one resistant person in a therapy office, that is a therapist. Resistant and VERY sensitive to any kind of feedback or criticism, "if you don't like something, you are free to leave". So after awhile, I finally got it: it is more productive to spend money on prostitutes, talking is "free" extra, no results (just like with therapists), and at least there is something really delivered for money. And strangely enough, when I interviewed few therapists, they became very defensive on that question and couldn't explain why they are not emotional prostitutes. They couldn't even explain what they can actually deliver to me, except usual phrases about MY hard work. I never heard any therapist talking about hers or his hard work.
P.S. I knew girl who later became psychotherapist. Of course, she mostly ignored me when she was ~25 and had just got psychology degree. Before you say that my sample has small size, it is much larger than sample size used to formulate many psychoanalytical theories.

[danielnixon]

that im 100% sure of lol if they werent getting paid they could care less i hate therapy. I was basically forced into it as a part of getting my meds if they gave me a choice i wouldnt have done it heres therapy blah blah blah.

[RonLarhz]

Should i be changing therapist as i feel more n more distant?
This is the 3rd time my therapist said she will get back to me/call me to schedule appointment but she never got to it. The time when she does, it was last min(a few hrs b4 scheduled time to updates location, where to meet in the hospital) I feel like I'm not being taken seriously after i tried to voice out my concern/uncomfortableness regarding one of the session. She told me she is not offended but these actions tells me otherwise. Also, my distaste/distrust of christians might have contributed to it bcos i found out she's one thru social media.

I feel that her style have done some good impact on my parents but i dont think i can click with her anymore. I'm in such a delimma now whether to stop therapy altogether or change one...

[radar]

My therapist yawned in our session last week. It made me feel terrible.

[titikamaragoula]

People should not spend money to discuss why the therapist might be bored or tired.
They should drop and move on.
That’s basic self respect.

[Medietos]

Good, but why are ypou avoiding answering/ ouching on the actual Q: What if the therapist IS or SEEMS tired of one? or has other negative, bad, dangerous thoughts/prejudices/feelings about one and the case.That is scary. Please answer if you can. Bcz you don't believe therapists are above such things, do you? And even being mean, sadisitc, harmful, deceptive?

[Malin]

I want to ask some advice and hopefully someone can help me figure out what decision to make. I have been seeing my therapist for 1, 5 year. Im a shy person so in The beginning i minimised stuff and brought up stuff that was maybe uninportant, but a way for me to gather courage to The real stuff. I needed to trust her first. What happned a lot during The first sessions was her face looking surprised and a bit annoyed like this 🙄. And she also said «there are people who have it worse» i nodded. After a few months i decided to take The courage to tell her The deep stuff. We have been working on that now and i sometimes see her having care for me, other times i feel a strong abcent of it. Another thing is she forgets my son’s name. We have talked about him quite a bit as he is The joy in my life. I Even showed her a photo of him. She keeps calling him a whole diffrent name who is not even similar to his name. She have done that many times, and i keep correcting her. I mean if you are not sure of someones name, please say «your son» she also watched her arm watch alot, it is very obvious. And is always late, even just by a few minutes, but she always is. And have asked to end session early on occasion even tough i would have benefit from staying The whole 50 min. I need to take it ob me that i dont feel i have The right to tell her how it hurts ne and make me feel like a client she just wants to Get trough The session with, and like there is no genuin care. It’s hard to keep showing up somewhere you feel like you are a burden or annoying. Last session was The drop for me i guess, as she was overly concerned with The client before me, when she came to Get me 11:05 with The other client. And she just waved her hand at me saying «just go inside» looking annoyed. So i think i will tell her next session that i think it is best for me to quit therapy and maybe figure it out on my own. There is still stuff that i have not told her, The worst stuff and most difficult, but i cant Get myself to share that with her now as i have this strong feeling she dont give a damn about what i tell her. Any advice?