What if you never find love?

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This is frankly a terrible question to ask. And the reason why it is a terrible question is that it assumes that love is something that you find -- or encounter -- outside of yourself in other people. The fact of the matter is that the only love you will ever feel is your own love coming out of you. You can never really feel someone else's love. Just like you can never really feel someone else's pain or anger or sadness. You can only feel your own love coming out of you. That's where you need to look.

Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
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#love #dating #relationship

[psychacks]

This is frankly a terrible question to ask. And the reason why it is a terrible question is that it assumes that love is something that you find -- or encounter -- outside of yourself in other people. The fact of the matter is that the only love you will ever feel is your own love coming out of you. You can never really feel someone else's love. Just like you can never really feel someone else's pain or anger or sadness. You can only feel your own love coming out of you. That's where you need to look.



Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.

[TorontoKaraokeClub]

I learnt this last year. :) I just share a lot of my love to others now instead of looking for it. I get a lot of love because I give a lot of love now.

[DarkSpartan]

OK profoundness aside, the question they're obviously asking is "What if I never find a partner that has the qualities I like."

[matthewchristensen]

I'm going to givw ypu the bemefot of the doubt because i think your cpntent is generally exceptional, but i think it's reasonable to assume that many people asking this question are probably more referring to finding a situation where they experience someone else actively love for them in a way that makes them feel loved. In that case, the feeling is a response to the person's experience as a direct result of someone else's behaviour towards them. (I'm relatively certain that you have actually spoken about this in another video.) So while your point makes sense linguistically and is definitely something that i agree with, that would make "finding love" something that requires looking outside of oneself.

[ajseb]

True love is self love. Everything else comes after.

[rejectwokeness]

Brilliant! You need to find that feeling of love and the only person who can give you this consistently is yourself

[YouilAushana]

Yep, you have to create a love, bond with someone worth growing and finding intriguing.

[luismadrigal-hidalgo]

This is truly profound.
Thanks for your insight Dr.

[taterbug]

you can feel someone else's love. it is dependent on the power of their genuineness towards you.

[camillab.b.]

I see your point Doc, but let’s try not to be too semantic here, shall we? I think that most people formulating the question actually mean something like: “Will I ever be able to find that special someone to build a meaningful relationship with?” - I don’t think they mean the feeling of love in itself, honestly

[louismorris]

what we really mean when we say when we hope to find love is that we want to find someone who reciprocates the love that we have for them.that helps keep the love we do have inside burning an growing.external maifestations of love that are not reciprocated often grow weak or cold and die.

[irshadazeez]

This is top shelf knowledge. We should all learn this much younger in our lives. It would have solved so many issues.

[monave]

Thanks for pointing this out!

I’m feeling pressured to find it now from others, I’m just not ready. I am in crisis now, I don’t have a job, that basic need needs to be fulfilled first, THEN I will think about a relationship. Thank you friend for your concern.

[PharmacyTechLabs]

No one will love me like I love myself well maybe my mom. That's why last night I had a nice meal. I spent $150 on a medium rare steak with grilled vegetables on the side. Then I spent around $350 on a bottle of Chateau Angelus 2019. Then I sat on their deck and smoked a Arturo Fuente Anniverxario. Before calling an Urber to take home. Haha!

[KatharinaKaschka]

I get your point, and true, we can never experience what exactly another person feels. At the same time still we can experience their feelings of love expressed in their body language and energy around us, attitude, demeanour and actions ("labour of love“) etc.. Furthermore love itself is an energy, and it vibrates on a different frequency than hate. You can feel the energy of love emanating from a person. This works even with strangers. Most human beings can feel such energies. And love (especially with loved ones) can also be felt telepathically.

With this saying most people probably mean finding their match and having a great relationship with them. In the majority of cases they probably want the ideal of mutual love... For others it seems to be a priority and goal that someone loves THEM, that’s all they want or enough for them, and then they might love their adorer back or not. A few others might be happy being the adorer, with unrequited love, and enjoy having their object of love around.

[jamesoconnor]

Find your core, you will find peace. ❤

[FeelnLikeIDoEveryDay]

You feel the effects but not the affectation. I feel the effects of love coming from someone by their actions but the motivation behind those actions I’m never privy to. Talk about setting boundaries….

[nissarahamed]

"You can't actually feel somebody else's love, just like you can't find someone else's sadness"

[Taurusboy]

I get what you are pointing at but your answer can’t reach many people simply because the type of love many desire is to genuinely connect it to someone who will also give it back in return. It is just like a bank, they would not be in business if it was not a give and receive type of transfer. The whole point of empathy and intuition is feeling. Empaths are capable of feeling other’s emotions. We can feel love. If your points were accurate, we would not have emotions at all. Self love is not the issue with the question, “What if I never find love?” We can fill our cups up in every category and yet still yarn for intimate love. It is our nature to love and for many of us, to love in a deep compassion way. No matter how much we love ourselves, it will never fill the void of romantic love.

[phillipsmith]

Thank you so much for explaining love..I enjoy things, but I don't if other people do.