Why You'll Never Find the Right Person

It could sound rather brutal to hear that we'll never find the right person, but it's in fact the most generous and optimistic sentiment, because only once we give up on the absurd dream of finding the Right Person (who doesn't exist for anyone), can we start to make it work with that far more realistic and likely partner: the good enough person.

FURTHER READING

“Your fears are right: you won’t. It seems harsh to say it just now but the right partner for you doesn’t really exist: there are just different varieties and degrees of wrongness. It’s not your fault or theirs. Anyone, however lovely they seem at first, will turn out to be maddening, difficult and deeply disappointing in a few – but to you very important – ways.”

MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE

Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist:

SOCIAL MEDIA

Feel free to follow us at the links below:

CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Tomás Pichardo-Espaillat

[lottielotte]

“Compatibility is an achievement of love; it shouldn’t be its precondition.”

This.

[roselynytac]

"Relationship doesn't solve the problem of loneliness for very long."

This too.

[organic]

Stop looking for your soul mate and start looking for your soul, mate.

[rea]

As long as you "need" someone, you will be miserable. When you don't need but rather "choose to be with" a person because you respect them and accept them, well, that is when the magic happens (at least it did for me).

[ambitiousbutrubbish]

I've found the right person for myself. That's me.

[Anarcath]

I’ve told my 13 year old daughter that there is no such thing as the perfect person nor true romantic love. I told her to love herself and go out there with as much clarity about the world as possible. “This way you won’t waste time on bullshit and can focus on what is truly important: living a good life”.

[simonidadevic]

Instead of searching for the “right person” - become one.

[discipleinblack]

I think one thing that many of the commenters below are missing is that, yes you can hypothetically meet someone who, at the time, ticks off all the right boxes and seems like the perfect match.
But who you end up with today, will never be the same person 5-10 years from now. They will grow, change and evolve into an entirely new person, someone who you may not have envisioned yourself with.
This is why marriages fail.
People go in expecting their love to remain unchanged, but in reality we are constantly changing and evolving. The key to a successful relationship is to be willing to embrace those changes in each other, to celebrate them and even encourage them. Even when that challenges our own core beliefs, we have to be willing at the very least to examine ourselves and our partners to ensure that we are being receptive to who they are becoming.

[ariel-]

if I had a partner that was just like me, I'd go insane

[mrsomebody]

1:41 "And you won't win the lottery either." Well now you just went to far...

[MosesEmmet]

I think anytime we think in absolutes like “ The right person for me is...” ultimately puts us in a place where we eliminate so many possible options to meet people who could BE right for us.. but maybe not appear that way at first glance. AND only a sith would think in absolutes!

[ThisIsMyFullName]

The problem with the term 'the one', is most people never consider the definition of it. So "he/she wasn't the one anyway" becomes a phrase of comfort, and "I'm still looking for the one" becomes a phrase of hope. In other words, the idea of 'the one' just becomes a fantasy, a fairytale, not based in reality. Instead, you have to look deeper, and define what 'the one' actually means to you. Once you do that, you will realise that finding love, is all about knowing yourself. Because if you don't know who you are, then how can you know what you need?

[sebastianelytron]

But I already found her.




She just didn't say yes.

[unleashingpotential-psycho]

No one will ever find someone perfect because perfect people do not exist.

[ciaoiosonodaniele]

I might be wrong, but I feel that the message that transpires from this video is that the right person doesn't exist and that you need to lower your expectations and settle down for a "good enough" person. I think this is wrong, while it is true that you will never find the perfect one if you are unhappy with your life and if you think that love is going to solve your life. When you actually learn to be happy and have a fulfilled life by yourself, then your perception of "the right one" will shift and someone that looked like a good enough one might become the right one for you, because you are not putting your happiness on their shoulders, but you are allowing them to be part of your already happy life.

[thetruthbetweenthelines]

We stay a lot in our way of finding the right person, the right job, the right path to a meaningful life.
The first thing we need to do is to remove ourselves from our own way.
Excellent video! 🔥

[yogamina]

School of life just made me lose all my hope

[vettie]

well this is one way to start your morning...

[meditateandelevate]

"you will to a significant extent be ruining the life of ANYONE you get together with, long-term."
TRIGGERED

[uleeyah]

Oh well, that's just my Achilles heel as an idealist. I grew up reading a lot and watching romantic movies, and my perception of love stems from art. I certainly have an idea of what kind of person I want to be with, and so far no one got even close to the image I bear in my mind. I am also afraid that if I give up on that image, I will settle with a person for solely practical arrangements like sharing household duties, raising a child, upgrading living conditions, etc. And I am afraid such a union will never provide me with the type of love and passion my idealistic side is craving so much. I feel like I am just doomed.