Finding Purpose and Meaning to Overcome Anxiety - Break the Anxiety Cycle 29/30

If you were to ask most people what they want from life, the average answer you would get is “I just want to be happy.” If you would ask most people what they would want for their kids you might get two answers “I just want them to be happy” or “I want them to be successful so they can be happy”.

We are drowning in a culture of happiness. 4000 books a year are written on happiness. Google searches for happiness have exponentially increased. Products promise happiness. Food commercials promise happiness. And happiness is extolled as the highest virtue. But here’s the interesting thing.

What if I could promise you that I could create a tank, an amazing tank that you could program to feel any experience in the entire world. Pleasure, success, anything you dream of, and this experience would feel 100% real inside the tank. You could be the world's best athlete, olympic gold medalist, world cup champion, you could be the world's bestselling author, you could be the sexiest man alive or the most adventurous explorer, and while you were in the tank it would feel 100% real. You would feel happy. You would only have to leave the tank briefly to choose the next happy experience, and then you could go right back in. Would you choose this life for yourself? Would you choose this life for your kids?

Even though the vast majority of people would say that happiness is their goal, when presented with the option to experience decades of “happiness” in the tank, most people would reject “the Tank” because deep down, they know that there is something much more valuable. A life with purpose, with meaning, with authenticity.

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

[ShondaD_]

I just desire to be STABLE!

Stable mentally, spiritually, financially, socially, physically, and educationally❤

[DominiqueFrancon]

In 2015–2016, I was going through a lot of issues in my marriage, and my mother had just received a terminal cancer diagnosis. Following mom’s death, I had my own cancer diagnosis just a few months later. A few months after my mastectomy and recovery, a distant family member’s baby girl needed to go into foster care and I was able to take her in. This was the boost to my spirit that I didn’t even know I needed. I suddenly found my purpose again. Not necessarily taking care of babies all the time, but being of service and doing God‘s work. I fostered that baby girl for six months and then she got her forever home. That whole experience was a real shot in the arm for me. I just look for ways to feel blessed and to be a blessing. A mindset shift is just what I needed.

[Srindal]

As an anxious person, I wouldnt mind writing a book. It wouldnt be very well written, but i'd try to make it meaningful

[katrinat.]

There is a difference between happiness and life satisfaction. You can go through hard things like a serious illness, or even just raising children, or raising them as a single parent, etc. You may not be happy all the time, but in the end, you have life satisfaction. Because you accomplished something by raising your family, or by not even just beating your illness, but dealing with your illness.you realize your own personal strength and nobody can ever take that from you

[zeussatrid]

emma, i want to say a heartful thanks to you. the last few years have been so difficult for me with sleep problems, anxiety, family problems, mum's mental health (bipolar), brother's business failing, me not having a job for a while. Even though things aren't perfect right now, you have helped me so much. thank you

[carlagraca]

The story about your friend reaching out to you and the other things she does for the people around her was very touching.

[trevornicholson]

I appreciate the comments about work because that's how I felt. When I was working as a cleaner in a hostel, I felt happy when I was helping my coworkers and giving advice to the guests. My coworkers were afraid to speak up about things, and so I did it, and I felt good about it. When I was working front desk at a different hostel, guests would sometimes say they felt like they were bothering me with all of the their questions but I said no, I am more than happy to give them advice about this city because I want them to have an enjoyable experience. Even though the place itself wasn't that great, people left 5-star reviews and mentioned my name specifically, because I made their stay enjoyable. Every job I've had, what made me feel happy or not was if I felt this fulfillment of actually doing something meaningful.

[OlySasquatch]

I don’t have a close friend or a friend really at all. I get so lonely and my anxiety has really been a big factor in this.

[bitofwizdomb]

These are my principles and boundaries I live by “as long as you do not deceive me or betray me, and as long as you strive to always be honest, truthful, respectful, fair, morally just and treat me with decency and dignity, you will always have my full dedication and commitment to our relationship.” I am a very reasonable and rational person. And I live with integrity. But if a partner continually dishonors these principles, I would leave, even if I still loved them bc obviously the principles I live by wouldn’t be recognized and acknowledged mutually. Betrayal (cheating ) is a definitive deal breaker. Deception is not far behind

[Dillonfinley]

thank you for all the help! your a blessing for all of us without proper mental education!

[jameshollstein]

Best info I have ever heard. Be the light you wish to see. More happiness in giving than receiving. Trancendence. This super amazing info.

[ggmiethe]

In almost every second of this video I felt deeply confronted. I seriously found it hard to hear - probably because I think I fail at almost all of it. I did watch it to the end, but I had to fight myself to do so.

[oumtekir]

the serviceful life is tricky when you have problems with setting boundaries

[judymarkel]

This is beautiful. I was thinking the other day how to get over an obstacle. This was the answer. I hope you know how much you have helped me. Thank you so very much. I will watch this again to do some thinking. Right now I need to go to my friends house to water her flowers❤

[davidyule]

Thank you! Reframing life positively. Life is short… make it great!🙏🏼

[znxwvpd]

Lady! ... You are amazing!!! I am someone that's insurance doesnt cover a therapist. You are truly a Godsend!!! Blessings to You!!!

[kw]

Thank you. I truly appreciate your generosity in sharing content and expertise.

[Asher]

Thank you Emma, for sharing your gifts with me. I appreciate you. ❤

[janetnichols]

I am so blessed to have found your channel! Emma, you are so genuine, kind, knowledgeable . Thank you❤

[brendaheins]

I am really enjoying your videos. LOVE that you are a Christian! So inspiring! Keep up your ministry of helping people.