Why do autistic people dislike eye contact?

Eye contact can be uncomfortable.
Some of us find it intense and intimate.

It can make us feel anxious and eye contact can feel demanding.

Too much information:
For some of us, it's hard to keep eye contact as there's already too much information. This can make it hard to think.

Eye contact can also be hard due to speech and language differences.

Some of us may find it hard to focus on spoken words and eyes at the same time or need to look at mouths to see the words.

Some people think we don't make
eye contact because we're not interested in them

but we can be very interested and
still find eye contact hard!

▼▼▼ ABOUT ME ▼▼▼
My name's Loren Snow, and I'm an autistic public speaker and trainer and the CEO of Neurodiverse Training where myself and my team deliver training to tens of thousands of people each year about autism and neurodiversity.,

▼▼▼ OUR ONLINE COURSES ▼▼▼

▼▼▼ COPYRIGHT ▼▼▼
Copyright: (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0)
BASICALLY: If you want to LINK TO this video or include a link to it on your website, article, or course, please go ahead: that's free :)
If this is a private, unlisted, or members only video then contact before sharing.

[LorenSnow]

If you’d like to get updates on all my videos, events I’m at, and courses I run - sign up to my mailing list here :)

[CB]

It makes me anxious. Until i know someone very well, when i can predict and map out how they will respond, I find eye contact very demanding. I will avoid people at work who are needy. I never realised why I had such a strong avoidance of needy people. It’s solely because they try to catch my eye too often and too intensely

[VictorXRF]

I dislike eye contact because it physically hurts, it feels like there lost of wind blowing in my eyes or like someone scratching them.

[catea]

Sometimes eye contact is fine and natural, but the majority of the time making it feels extremely weird and uncomfortable.
It feels like you're in the literal sense getting intimate with the person, which is not something you want to think of, and maybe there's anxiety from the fact the person can read your emotions because they see your eye movements - and invasion of privacy imo.
Also because I don't like eye contact, when I consciously do it, it feels forced and I find it very hard to concentrate. I much prefer looking as far away from faces as possible, and then I feel heaps more comfortable in discussion and can focus on what I say, and what the person is saying.

[householdrecordings]

I can't listen to someone properly if I try to look at their eyes. Like you said, it's too much sensory information at once. I find that minimal to zero eye contact allows me to listen properly. It's a processing thing, I guess.

[Talleyern]

in EVERY other mammal eye contact is a threat, when I was growing up I learned people really only make eye contact to overpower another, I infered this because you only ever see it when you want something from someone like business deals, job interviews, or talking with a superior.
I can make eye contact to threaten and overpower but it hurts to do it in a normal situation

[AB-fsjl]

Not that anyone will see this comment but:
For myself, it’s like staring at the eye of souron, I literally can’t think, my brain is paralyzed, information overload. I either look at the bridge of the nose if I have to at least simulate it or alternate between the nose ridge and looking down and to the left.

[asara]

I can look into people’s eyes but I tend to watch their mouths when talking so I can process the words better and concentrate... looking at eyes sometimes takes me into a different thought process like how sparkly they are, or they look like sad eyes and I start a whole new thought train and can’t concentrate on what the other person is saying... I can see into a person’s soul through their eyes so it’s quite distracting if what comes outta their mouth doesn’t match what their eyes say... it can be quite intense so I don’t always look... also I need to concentrate and process their words so can’t have a distraction like eyes 👀

[mondo]

I can look in people's eyes when they speak but if I am speaking I cannot look them in the eyes. It's so weird

[Nerd]

I just can’t make direct eye contact. It makes me just...anxious... When I was younger, people always thought I wasn’t listening. Now, I actually think about eye contact before talking to someone, so I’m usually good at staring at their face, just not their eyes....

[Islandswamp]

All my life I thought you were supposed to look away if you made eye contact with people. I’d be worried about being told I was staring. I find eye contact kind of intimidating.

[cinnamoomilk]

It makes me extremely uncomfortable and it’s unsettling. It can make it very hard to focus and I wouldn’t be able to understand or process a word you are saying which builds more anxiety and discomfort at least for me.

[Artnb]

I'm autistic and I hate eye contact because I immediately assume people will hate me if I look at them

[マッコーケル私をダニエルと呼んでくだ]

I can around people I know but not around people idk 🧐 and I get bad anxiety when people tell me to look at them

Sorry for saying people so much I can’t think of another Word

[fwwryh]

Their face is boring. I prefer to look at their shirt, shoes, desk or my computer. I see no point in staring at someone's face when I have ears.

[prototype]

i think people who are unable to concentrate or think for themselves need eye contact especially when you are talking

[trebledc]

I don't like eye contact cause it's tires and bore me, it's also stressful. It distract me during my conversation. Imao eye contact is for intimacy only so unless it's my love ones I am okay or a person I like.

[robertsouth]

I'm not autistic but I avoid eye contact because I don't like the subtle changes it causes in the way I think. People making eye contact influence each other, and the ones who are most practiced at using eye contact to win will end up having more influence. Think about it, every salesman or con man LOVES eye contact. Even if you are willing to subordinate independent thought under the right circumstances, skills related to eye contact influence are a bad basis of who should be in charge. These people are usually unable to think for themselves, though they do benefit from thought derived from others (on which they are thus dependent). Yet most people do things this way, so solitary independence it is. The longer it goes on, the more vulnerable you get because of atrophy, so the more inadvisable it is to come back. So, long story short, the reason I avoid eye contact is because of "delusion" aka something "most of us" don't believe. See the irony?

[Bigboss-xelm]

It feels like am doing something thats not me, it feels kind of insane to directly look inside others eyes

[psychedelictacos]

We can or at least I can it is just overwhelming to look at a face. I imagine due to the face processing regions in my brain receiving too much information at once due to an increase in dendritic spines that is not found in neurotypicals. So nothing to do with not wanting to engage or not listen to the person we are having a conversation with just think of it as a hypersensitivity of input.