Perceived Tumblr Post

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I don't own anything except my voice.

[G.r.e.g.g.l.e.s]

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"I'm in this video and I don't like it"

[julesking]

I like how TMA has a seemingly smaller fanbase but the concepts presented within it have permeated so much of Tumblr’s speech patterns

[wildechild]

out loud i said 'damn the ceaseless watcher really got to this person huh' half way through and the ending hit me like a truck where are the cameras???

[JustEpicDragons]

As a word of encouragement: it CAN get better. I'm one of the many "I'm in this video, and I don't like it" people, and sure, there are parts of this feeling that stick around. It still feels weird to realize that I exist in other people's mental space, and when someone points out some habit or trait they've noticed about me, completely affectionately, I still have to struggle against the assumption of "they're pointing this out because they think it's stupid or annoying."

But. It gets less crippling. If you find a group of people where you feel safe and accepted. If you can feel like you belong somewhere. If you can gain skills and do your best and start to believe you really are doing a good job. Then with time, you learn to feel less afraid.

So if you're not there yet, not just now, that doesn't mean you never will be. Just keep pushing through.

[DWMASkull]

So true, and it's not something you can "just ignore" and mix it with anxiety and boom you don't think you're important enough for people to be looking at you but you sure are weird enough that everyone is judging you even if they're not looking at you. It's exhausting

[achromaticism]

i'll take the magnus archives one again being an uncannily effective framework for explaining suffering for $500

[siiriheikkinen]

Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this wrenched thing!

[bncszur]

Oh... this explains so much...

Like, seriously speaking now, i only realized a couple of months ago that the average person does not have any problems with having someone simply look at them while they're doing something (like using your phone). And i just realized from this post how it has to do with the way i was constantly embarrassed through my childhood by family members and others.

Fortunately, i've been consciously forcing myself to keep doing things in front of other people for a while now, and the more i do it the more i realize how no one actually cares enough to judge every micro-action i take as my traumatized little brain thought they did. It's becoming a bit easier everyday.

[mwahmichelle]

it’s gotten to the point where i feel the need to regulate my actions when i’m all alone, too. i even feel like my own thoughts are being scrutinised 😭

[anisasahai]

'Statement of "steam and cream" regarding his interaction with the beholding.

Statement begins: -'

[hamburgerdog]

Certied "Hello, Jon. Apologies for the intrusion" moment

[no.]

TMA reference at the end hit me like a pipe

[stormy]

This is why my older sister sucks. She believes that "privacy is a privilege", but since I have really bad anxiety (I have to be medicated) that just makes me want to dig a hole in my mattress and stay there until I die of dehydration.

[valenmejia]

YES, YES. I hate being perceived as an adult, and that compounds with my low self-esteem, writing my cv and trying to interview for jobs makes me shiver.

[orangeismyfavoritecolor]

I feel this way even when someone _compliments_ me or my work… childhood abuse and alienation from family and peers really messes with you.

[neonradius]

This has actually heavily impacted my ability to do well in school. I’ve always struggled in class, even with content I could do perfectly well at home. Finally in college I figured out that it was because I couldn’t focus when other people were watching me work because I would freeze up and be unable to think. I came from a pretty abusive household, and I was used to being screamed at the moment I messed anything up, so my brain would just shut down and refuse to continue when someone was watching me (especially when a teacher would be walking around and stop to look at my paper).

Thankfully the different format of college has helped a lot with this, and so has therapy and gaining more confidence. Mostly it was getting out of that environment and surrounding myself with people who wouldn’t tell me I’m a miserable idiot who’s going to fail at life because I made a small, correctable mistake

[tomerlupo]

The Magnus Archives statement number ###

[Simi_Cosplays]

ceaseless watcher…. CEASELESS WATCHER? it’s giving The Magnus Archives

[lilyminer]

The eye from tma got me fr. Scariest thing is just having other ppl watching.

[mangouschase]

yeah, i once got "lmao there's someone listening to x" at new year's by my parents and since then I never shared any music, game or movie tastes.