INFJ DATING | What INFJs Need in a Partner

Aug 7th, 6pm CET, 12pm EST, 9am PST

INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Today we're talking about INFJ dating, in particular, what INFJs need in a partner, and a relationship. The things we read most of the time say: "This is the best partner, so let's say another personality type" or that "we need other intuitive types". I want to go a little bit deeper because I believe in regards to our personal development, it makes a lot of sense to look at the particular traits I'm going to talk to you about today.

#INFJ #INFJLIFECOACH #LIFECOACHING

[Wenzes]

What are some of the characteristics you are looking for in a relationship?

[danyazhafira]

''i was losing myself when focusing on others" part made me cry, idk why i used to be so obsessed with 'fixing people' just because i saw their potential, i helped my ex-es (whose standards were below me) got better jobs etc while it was actually killing me because i myself had gone nowhere. thank you so much for this video!

[Micelle]

1. We need to feel alive
2. We need future plans
3. We need to be able to express ourselves
4. We need somebody who allow us to be ourselves (not an escape from ourselves)

[katiebee]

I am an infj and I have an avoidant attachment type which makes it very difficult I need someone independent yet willing to do most of the chasing- but not too much lol!

[nataliaseroka]

I'm in relationship with Intj and it works pretty well (11years). So what I got from it: I feel safe, I know I can trust him, he accepts me as I am, he gives me realistic point of view, I get my personal space, he is much more consistent and what most important I don't get bored because even after such a long time together he can be unpredictable to me.

[CD-ejcb]

"I thought that if I understood them so well, that they would understand me.." SOO true! All of this is sooo incredibly helpful and resonate, you're speaking to this stagnation I've been allowing myself to be stuck in for years, such an amazing lesson thank you! And yes, I have so much trouble letting go of this partner because I keep trying to understand why he doesn't "SEE" me, I don't want to make him but WHYY. haha

[mikebronson]

If someone were to ask me that question " what are you looking for in a girlfriend" I think I would have to tell them that I'm looking for someone who would want to help me believe that my past was just a really bad dream.

[TroyPosey]

As an INFJ male, I haven't been with anyone in so long it's debilitating and emotionally crippling...Not to mention ego-crushing. I've always been treated like the friend, and never the lover. It's been a rough life. I've also always just rolled with the flow of life, and with whatever my friends wanted to do (as most of us all had similar interests...Drinking, partying, and chasing women), and never was too concerned with taking the reigns. I've finally took charge of my life and figured out the direction I wanted, the woman I want to be with, where I want to go in life, and started exerting my natural dominance of the entire hierarchy as a sigma-alpha, and as soon as I did that (about 2 years ago), almost ALL of my friends have started disappeared from my life...Calling less, wanting to hangout less often, claiming their always busy, etc... People I was friends with for decades. Is it the sigma-alpha part, or the INFJ part that scares/wards-off people? When I find something I'm passionate about, be-it hobby, interest, friend, girlfriend, etc... I am fiercely and intensely loyal, expressive, passionate, and protective over them. Some folks that can be a little much, I get that... But it's just how we INFJ's are.

Any advice would be MUCH appreciated.

[ThePanjatani]

Absolutely true and those ones who we can not look upon too or being inspired by, we just can not respect. We need the complete package mental, emotional and physical understanding. Disrespect us or view us that we are beneath you and you will loose us in a jiffy.

[allisonnelson]

This is so true in my previous relationship all my partners was away to excape and i realize this dont make me feel fulfil and that's not what i wanted i want my life to be full of purpose and have someone that has the same hunger as i to have a fulfil life, someone i can be my true self with, some with great mannerism charater, some that brings out the best in me someone that i dont have to be dragging behind me but are on the same page someone that work on themself mentally and emotionally someone that is open minded and willing to learn someone like this would be a great addition to my life

[sifusonic]

Definitely have felt I'm just way too intense to be able to find someone willing to put up with me. Been single for over 6 years now but this made me feel better, thanks.

[trendsetter]

Omg that is what I wrote in my poetry :
I rise above the all heartbreak.
I chose to be my greatest mate.
I surrender to the God's will.
and choose to harness all my skills.
I am thankful for the life I have.
The truth, honesty, the good I crave
Nor bitter or sad, but broken still.
I am, a force to be reckoned with!
You have to keep up, if you will?
I will turn stale if I am still.
Just bring the light, the love and hope.
So we can spread the good we soak.
So we could live a better life .
A life of piety, love, foresight.

Poetess : Nosheen Zaidi

[lifeandwhatnot]

The craving for strong emotionality....been obsessed to Outlander for that exact reason. Moved me so emotionally and I haven't been able to break it, still watch that show daily.

[maria]

I'm an INFP and I love an INFJ-A he's awesome he's crazy about me too. I'm an introvert but also very sociable. We just click in every way.

[aquariusstar]

You and yr timing never ceases to amaze me! After several months of review, i had to ask the hard question abt a relationship i was considering committing to. Prob is the person has no life direction or even any drive to create one. Although he was content with being my side kick my intuition told me there wld eventually be trouble down the road. My motivational spirit wld be drained and i wld be stuck with feeling guilty every time i moved fwd. And those steps, cumulatively wld eventually cause a separation that wld be much more painful to break than yesterday. Ive been waffling on whether i made the right decision but truth is im too old to be enabling and im exhausted from yrs of enabling bosses, parents, sublings, friends, coworkers and lovers. Hvg said that im ok with putting my energy all into me!

[mr.goodwrench]

What are some of the characteristics I am looking for in a relationship? A lady who has an introverted personality type. Her and I would most likely be more respectful of each others space and time,
yet still spend plenty of time with each other. Finding that balance. A good old fashioned courting type of relationship. My prayer and hope is that she does have goals as well, and NOT have control issues. I'm simply not one that will "play the game". I've gotta be me, and she's gonna have to be her, and we're both gonna have to accept one another for who we are while working on our relationship.

[pdoll]

Really appreciate how you broke it down here. I realize after therapy a lot of my desire for a relationship was to make me feel alive and satisfy my need for validation but what you said here about escaping and becoming a “side-kick” resonates so strongly and accurately. I do want a relationship but I want to know myself and validate myself first.
Make a plan, envision and execute.. this is exactly where I am.
This is a very confirming message for me today.

[NIV-I-X]

It is truly bafflng how similar and familiar the lifestories in this comment section are. Im getting litteral chills.

[yepitsme]

Would say to slowly intensify to determine level of the other person.
Shows strength and weakness.
And intensify quicker when wanting to deter others. Lol
Obv don’t show your cards and there is strength in restraint and use restraint when appropriate

[jamielah]

You're like a big sister... this was amazing thank you