How to Stop Caring What People Think of You

How to stop caring about what people think of you - my thoughts on how to stop people pleasing, living for others, and being afraid of judgment, criticisms, etc. and how to start living your best life for yourself.

Happy 5th birthday to Lavendaire! I thought I'd take this opportunity to reflect on the first video I posted on this channel and share what I've learned over the past 5 years. 😸 Thank you for sticking with me over the years! I'm so grateful for you & this beautiful community ✨ My life has completely transformed these past 5 years - I'm so lucky to be able to experience this and share it with all of you. I can't wait to see where the next 5 years takes us!

Now I'd love to hear: what's your favorite Lavendaire video?

// watch these throwback lavendaire videos

// more videos you might like

#selfhelp #selflove

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// RESOURCES

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Edited by Loryn Teranishi | @yoloryn

// M A I L B O X
Aileen Xu
PO Box 296
Brea, CA 92822

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// A B O U T

I’m Aileen, a lifestyle blogger sharing knowledge and inspiration on creating your dream life.

Lavendaire is my blog about personal growth + lifestyle design. Follow along and learn how you can create a life you love.

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Disclaimer: This is NOT a sponsored video.

[likhi]

I always think of this when I worry about what others think.
"Those who matter don't mind,
Those who mind don't matter."

[manuelagoncalves]

this woman is my hero, I love her so much

[lavendaire]

Happy 5th birthday to Lavendaire! 😸 Thanks for all your support over the years! I'm so grateful for you & this beautiful community ✨ My life has completely transformed these past 5 years - I'm so lucky to be able to experience this and share it with all of you. I can't wait to see where the next 5 years takes us!

Now I'd love to hear: what's your favorite Lavendaire video?

Side note: After I filmed this video I wanted to screenshot examples of negative comments but I noticed that when intentionally searching for those comments, I had to scroll so much through so many positive and kind comments that the negative ones were hard to find lol. The reality is, I get so many more positive comments than negative/criticizing ones, but our brains tend to focus on the negative & blow it out of proportion because it affect us more. Just a friendly reminder to focus on the good and what's going right in your life vs. the negative :) Love you!!

[wernerviln]

"Strive for progress, not perfection" instantly takes such a load off my shoulders 🙏

[Crafty]

*Who else is so inspired by her??*

- _from a small Youtuber_

[SweetAsElle]

“Progress, not perfection... respect each other’s journey” 😭🙏🏼👍🏼 I really needed this. Thanks Aileen for recapping and redoing this video, and happy 5th birthday, Lavendaire 💜💕✨

[lexit.]

This helped so much. My parents are constantly telling me everything I do wrong, but now that I don't care about they're critisizm, I am much happier.

[aliciasai]

Another thing I try to remind myself of when someone is being unreasonable: “Whose opinion of me do I respect more: my own, or a complete stranger’s?” You will always have more context on your situation than the person commenting.

[LessonsInLife]

People who let go of worries instead of stressing over them are much healthier than those who don’t. When you pay great attention to what other people could be thinking of you, you cause anxiety, stress, and misery. Remember the only person that can hurt your feelings is you. Many of us spend too much time and energy worrying about what other people think. And if you worry so much about what other people think of you, you will always keep changing according to their opinions and you will no longer be yourself. Thanks for your share, Love you so much Lavendaire ;)

[emmad.]

This made me realize something that I had never even thought about before...I feel like my whole life I've equated my academic performance to my self-worth. This connects to how I also put what my parents thought of me, and wanted from me, above everything else in my life- including what I wanted from myself. I'm partially grateful that I had that push to do well in school (because it got me where I am today, in college on scholarship), but now that I'm here and looking to my future and what I want the rest of my life to be like, I need to reflect on how much of that "push" has also been "pushing out" things that I want to bring into my life.

[lavendaire]

Vietnamese, Japanese & Spanish subtitles are available! Click "CC" and check the video settings. Thank you to the contributors listed in the description 💕

[michelleeliza]

your videos have CHANGED me. I have been following you for years and I remember just sitting down in my room and watching all your inspiring videos on how to stay focused, create positive habits and follow your dreams. Because of you, I was able to go into college with confidence and stay focused on my career and even start doing youtube too! Thank you so much Lavendaire, Happy 5th Birthday! 💜💜🍃

[canyoucarrymybags]

i completely agree that when you truly love to learn yourself and you realize you are good enough that life just gets better because you stop looking outside yourself for validation and whats more empowering than that!

[kaeyuuka]

"It only matters what you think of yourself." - I can see how much confidence that has grown in you and even your voice has changed over the years! Happy fifth anniversary aileen! 💗

[rommelcastro]

lavendaire was (and will always be) the guidance that the universe sent me. i'm grateful for discovering her. my life has never been more enlightened and inspired!! :D

[bookishtopics]

Congratulations with the 5th anniversary! I love Lovendaire! You're such a hard worker and such an inspiration and a role model for me! <3

[ThinkCitric]

You've just saved my day. :)
I got married last month, and it was the happiest day of my life, because I married my true love and my best friend. :) The wedding was absolutely amazing, even better than I could possibly imagine, I felt like a Disney princess the whole day.
A couple of days after the wedding I talked to my bridesmaid, the only bridesmaid I had... And all she had to say is just the negative stuff about my family, my husband's family, the food, the music... Well, she did like my look and the wedding cake, but that's all.
I don't know why she said that, but it hurts so bad I couldn't stop thinking about it up until now. My mind just would filter out all positive things that other guests said: that it was the most beautiful wedding that they've ever seen, that the food was delicious, that the ceremony was so emotional the barely could hide their tears.
I guess I've chosen the wrong person to be a bridesmaid.

[thuaphi]

I love the quote: "There are only two people in the world you need to impress: your 5-year-old self and your 80-year-old self." 🍀🍀🍀🍀

[Flow]

Why would someone leave a mean comment for you? Hard to imagine.

[rebeccam]

So well put Aileen! Huge congratulations on staying strong for 5 years and making Lavendaire as successful as it is. I think this was a great topic to cover as a milestone as it is so important in bringing more love and light to the world.