7 core emotional needs

Key Points

00:00 What are emotional needs
01:13 What happens when our needs are met or unmet
01:30 Exploring our 7 core needs
7:00 Reflecting on your own needs

[TeacherMom]

1. A need of belonging. Having a purpose, a sense of meaning, a supportive community.

2. Safety so we can be our authentic selves without feeling harshly judged.

3. Decompression. Privacy, time & space to be quiet, destress, etc.

4. Autonomy. Having a say in our own lives. Need time & slace to make our own choices.

5. Emotional intimacy. The sense of being known by soneone else. Having someone else who is attune to us & who values how we think & feel.

6. Challenge & growth. The need for personal growth via challenges.

7. Self connection.

[isabellairwin]

I feel like I’m a robot learning to human again

[aspiringrootwoman]

The way my inner voice shockingly responded "emotional needs? We get to have those?" let me know how bad it is over here... Disconnection City

[Agra]

I like that you made such a clear list. I spent over a decade in therapy, and I've had to discover each one of these separately

[verekat]

Having learned how to improve emotional intimacy with myself has really helped me in regulating my emotions. Learning to be at peace with myself, ( most of the time, )is worth more than gold and diamonds, to me. ❤

[paulaleiva]

I don’t feel belonging, safety, decompression, intimacy, and self-connection. I feel so much frustration and resentment. So depressed.

[PaigeLaverty]

Your explanations are giving me all the same feels as my 10th grade math teacher….relief bc someone understands. The way you present complex concepts makes the information and your insight strikingly easy to comprehend. Thank you

[Jae-byhf]

I feel frustrated and resentful all the time, as an autistic woman my emotional needs have rarely if ever been met and there is no chance of changing that. I don’t feel belonging, safe, decompression (because god forbid, people control their children and stop abusing them) or intimacy. I feel self connected, autonomous and I challenge myself, but these are all self, the others are external. I can’t control external forces!

[ethereal]

Autonomy has been a need I really struggle with, I grew up in a fundie household and so little about a person is left for them to decide and there’s a lot of tension when you grow differently than expected. I don’t know how I’m even going to build a life for myself I feel like the recipe for a perfect mess of a human

[ThomasJDavis]

Belonging comes from relationships, frequently interacting with people whom we trust and know closely and who know and trust us, also people with whom we can relate to, be it through common interests or life experiences. Belonging can grow stronger over time as well.

I would categorize it differently than having a life purpose, which is more self-actualizing.

[ajtg]

Wish I'd heard this 40 years ago 😊So important to understand...

[DanielaRosenrot]

I'm isolated most of the time because I have MCS (neurotoxic chemicals are everywhere when I go outside - car fuel smoke/gas, smoker, perfume in the stores and also outside). I love alone time as an infj and my interests and hobbies are too unusual for most people. What helps me is my imagination and love in my imagination and dreaming.

[theshulamite]

I feel like I'm just broken beyond repair 😢

[fbbWaddell]

I like that you explained safety. I've never had that before.

[vikrammano]

Understanding and addressing these core emotional needs is crucial for personal growth and well-being. I haven't heard it being explained quit this way before, but your explanations are clear and impactful. Thank you!

[ryannesumbry]

I needed this video I’ve been in AZ for almost a year now and I feel like I’m struggling to belong and find friends I’ve found some in my church but my social life is still lagging behind. I do appreciate that you said it’s normal for not all of our needs to be met 100 percent of the time

[krembryle]

Omg I had none of these growing up, maybe except of some challenge. And I wonder why I'm so fucked up.

[istrala]

I feel like I'm doing pretty well with meet needs. The one that stands out is safety. I have a partner and friends who are able to give me that space to show up just as i am, but i think it's hard for me to trust it because i didn't have that in my family life growing up (and still don't.) I have to just keep showing up and allow myself to be messy so that I can see the acceptance is there. Then I might start to believe it.

[TimothySmith]

Man, this makes sense to me. ALOT. It did not until now. But it does now.
I understand now more how other's were and are making me feel and me others. Love your videos.

And no I don't. Belong? Nope. Safe? Define that lol. Nope . I am challenged at work. I have not felt any type of intimacy In a while now. Anyone I am interested in has a Significant Other anyhow. No Autonomy. I like to fish and that helps me decompress. So I've been making a point to go more after work. An Hour or so does wonders for me. I have been trying to be far more self aware of my own actions and traits. Keeps what's good. Work on what's not. I keep repeating the same mistakes and that bothers me. Things like my Active Listening Needs more work. Prioritizing things. Etc.

But I am getting there. And I have come a long way. But I now understand alot more why I feel the way I do alot.

[lynnelsiebennettnoble]

My home was broken into while I was away. I had to so far replace locks twice. Safety, not feeling it. My neighbor's and I are getting closer because of break ins and the knowledge that police can only do so much. I feel stressed but the robbers can take all the material stuff they want but not while I'm home. Community, I also made friends with my boyfriends x wife. We all like each other, spend holidays together or family dinners. But I have trouble with commitment to boyfriend ( widow of 36 year marriage). This is exciting to work on automonny, self awareness, stress management... Just breathing!¡!