Aperture Investment Opportunity #3: 'Turrets'

This week's reason to pre-invest in Aperture Laboratories: CEO and founder Cave Johnson's announcement that the applied sciences company is making its military-grade turret line available to consumers.

[roombacop]

I love the fact that "the whole bullet" is a canon reason why you can survive being shot

[zom]

"Plus, we fire the whole bullet. Thats 65% more bullet per bullet."
He paid for the whole bullet he's gonna use the whole bullet.

[unclaimedusername]

>The whole-ass bullet fired with a spring system
Well that explains why I can take so many shots without catching Sudden Dying Syndrome.

[KrisJoshJones]

everyone loves the "whole bullet" gag but "introducing the consumer version of our most popular military-grade product" always gets me for some reason.

[billlupin]

It has an empathy chip AND an empathy suppressor chip, that way it genuinely feels bad while it's murdering you.

[linnes]

"We fire the WHOLE bullet. That's 65% more bullet per bullet!" I love you Cave.

[therealbeanbot]

I love how Aperture Science made so many amazing products and the one they decided to sell to the public was the talking gun

[astrochaos]

0:34 the Desert Camo Turret says “I’m different” and I used to think the Prometheus Turret in the game was rescued and painted into the desert colours lol

[Espeonstar]

Not sure if anyone has said this, but the reason Chell can survive so many bullets is because turrets fire the bullets using springs. That's why she doesn't die from the turrets as fast as you would expect. It was crazy hearing this the first time, rather than "video game logic" there's an actual story related reason for character sturdiness.

[aurin_komak]

So this is why they're so cute: they're meant for families

[librus]

They're bullet-filled, egg-shaped, tripedal, stationary robots with a cute, squeaky voice that are programmed to mercilessly gun down anything that moves.

And we still love them, even a decade later.

[ChaosCrystalArtist]

Cave Johnson:
*slaps Turret*
"This baby can fit so many bullets into them"

[nightwolf]

Hi, can I order a "What Idiot Picked-" Turret?

[MadSpectro]

"We fire the WHOLE bullet."
As a firearms geek, that made me laugh.

[ImCaveJohnson]

I'm Cave Johnson and I approved this message.

[Syphonus]

Trust me, if everyone in the world had bought an Aperture Science commercial turret, the 7 hour war would have been a major victory for humanity

[ExecrationZero]

2016 and I still laugh at "How do we get so bullets inem'? Like this [Floods turret with bullets], plus we fire the WHOLE bullet. That's 65% more bullet per bullet!"

[Greggogrande]

Cave Johnson could sell me air, and I'd buy it.

[AIMXSIDEWINDER]

"How do we get so many bullets in them?

*like this.* "

[Anchor-Supreme]

So, let me get this right: the bullets are fired by spring, not by actually hitting the primer to fire the bullet. So instead of just making the actual bullet, they decided to buy or make the whole bullet, with the casing.

_Genius._