Aperture Investment Opportunity #4: 'Boots'

Over the last few weeks, we've gotten quite a few enticing reasons to pre-invest in Aperture Laboratories: from the planks of tomorrow, to test-optimized bots, to the last word in pre-emptive defense, the Home Safety Turret. Today marks Aperture's fourth and final Investment Opportunity video, and if it doesn't get you reaching for your special investment wallet, you wouldn't know a can't-miss opportunity if it was staring you in the face, yelling at you about boots.

[boofedstew]

Cave Johnson adds so much charisma and personality to a character we never see in the game.

[tacosquirrel]

I love that they made the boots to protect the Portal gun and not the user

[thekittyshow]

fun fact: if you pay attention to the sequence at 0:12 there is a small detail that says "if the portal device fails to produce portals, the black hole may need to be carefully restarted by carefully throwing 1 or 2 miniature german stick grenades into it" and if you look at the legend to the left, there are tiny german stick grenades included in the portal gun

[jmaitland]

Something I never sat down and read till just now, the warning label on the Portal Gun

"Note: Sudden absence of a steady whirring sound may indicate a Miniature Black Hole Cooling Fan Battery failure. Quickly disassemble the Ring Singularity Harness, pry apart the upper and lower Ring Singularity Rings, and gently remove the Event Horizon Estimation Wheel. Then, while running directly away from the device, use the Wheel to precisely determine the estimated minimum safe stopping distance."

[lukefox]

I get how shitty management at Aperture was, but I'm still confused at how literally no one was interested in a gun that makes wormholes and boots that literally negate fall damage. Not even the army?

[aestheticaltwat]

0:40 - What mobile game ads show us.
0:36 - What they really look like.

[vikramjadhav]

I love how they show that the lack of regard for the test subject's life isn't something GlaDOS has because she's AI but because she inherited that from her human creators

[jameskelmenson]

"We told this test subject to try and land on her head, she cant do it". Brilliant way to explain how in game you cant bend over or somersault, which is in every game but never gets explained. Beyond being really funny, its actually a great idea. Imagine a boot and glove system, like an iron man suit, that wont let you fall

[bruhpuppy]

“Cave Johnson here
here at aperture we are banging rocks together and its expensive as hell
We’re done here"

[jockeyfield]

aperture science: we made a hand held portal gun and boots that cushion the impact of the ground
black mesa: we made a cool suit and shotgun and led to the world's downfall

[nabilbensafi]

I love how at 0:25 the medics come to pickup the portal gun, and the test subject is just swooped into a fire pit.

[anzaca]

Aperture managed to make high-heeled boots that are actually practical.

[goldbristow]

Valve makes a crapload of jokes about greedy CEO's and their stupid mistakes that lead to downfall. stuffing your girlfriend into a huge robot body is one of them.

[Andrecio]

This is a elegant way to say "my game has not falling damage."

[Chillco]

i love how the boots always making the person land on their feet is an explanation for why you automatically orient yourself to be head-up even when falling through a portal head-down in-game

[clvvntiem]

"Anyway, we're between banks right now, just make those checks out to cash."

Um.

[CptGlitchy]

We have run into a reproducible human error problem. A lot of expensive equipment getting broken. That made me lol

[androidaxolotl]

I love how the lack of fall damage in this game has a scientific explanation.

[cube]

I love the canonical plans for the portal gun:
-Dye reservoir
-Dye trap
-manifold
-Fan battery housing
-MINIATURE BLACK HOLE
-EVENT HORIZON ESTIMATION WHEEL
-miniature black hole cooling fan

And 2 miniature German stick grenades for no reason

[femboygaming]

_Chell successfully flys through the air like an eagle piloting a blimp_

*GOOD WORK BOOTS*