The Cost of Being Neurodivergent ('ADHD Tax' explained)

"ADHD tax" refers to the cost that is incurred due to our ADHD, or more broadly, our neurodivergent challenges. They can range from literal financial impacts to impacts on our physical and mental health. This video explains ADHD tax and provides examples from my lived experience as a high masking, AuDHD (autistic and ADHD) adult.

#autism
#adhd
#neurodivergent

00:00 Introduction
00:52 What is the ADHD tax? (neurodivergent tax)
01:30 Employment and the ADHD tax
02:27 My employment struggles (as a high masking AuDHD adult)
04:13 ADHD and constantly losing things
05:33 ADHD tax and disorganization at work
07:11 Managing debt as a neurodivergent person
08:27 ADHD tax and paying bills on time
10:31 Missing deadlines for reimbursements
11:43 When Autistic and ADHD special interests become problematic
12:41 My impulsive hobby purchase
13:57 Why I'm hesitant to provide solutions
14:49 Let me know your thoughts, thanks for watching!

[ProudlyAutistic]

How has the ADHD (or neurodivergent) tax impacted you?

[WaysideArtist]

My life. All of it. And this is so hard to explain to someone who says: Just budget. Just call the credit card company and negotiate. Just pay your bills as they come in.
I feel like I ruin and mess up everything I do. Thanks for such an honest video.

[turntablez]

Nice video! Definitely relate. I lost a couple thousand last year due to poor sense of money. I was on holiday and didn't expect it to cost much because the food and accommodation were free. I only bought one bag of toiletries and snacks beforehand. But it all added up. The audiobook subscription, the new flip-flops, the couple nights of eating out, the impulse detours, the pharmacy visit, the transport... I kept looking through my bank statement over and over, but it was all correct. I spent 2000 on random little things that just added up in the end. It really sucks.
Though regarding canceling subscriptions, I would say that a lot of companies just have inaccessible subscription policies. So it's not just that we're forgetful, we are also denied accessibility. It's not hard to implement better policies but they won't because it makes them money.

[wisecoconut]

This is all very relatable! I have been fired for "over stapping bounds" when I just thought I was showing initiative. This happened twice! I am lucky that I am very organized. But, in order to be so, I have limited my ambitions.
I am intelligent but I will never be "successful ". I have learned to be o.k. with that. I can not, however, figure out a way to be realistic with my aspirations. I go all in and buy way too many tools and materials for hobbies I might not even like. Yup, I would buy that top of the line bike too, and ride it only once! I don't get upset anymore though. This is MY life and I choose not to judge myself!

[faeriesmak]

I tend to impulsively by clothing. Online and at thrift stores. Now I have way too much and it is overwhelming, but it is also overwhelming to go through and declutter it. I am constantly dealing with my clothing, wasting time, energy, and being stressed out about it. I have done this for ages but the difference is that years ago it was easy to resell it online and now it is nearly impossible.

[skachor]

How is it that your choice in topics are always so on point with what is going on in my life?!

[mariawesley]

For years i spent a lot of money on takeout food. This was because my jobs were always so stressful they took all of my energy and concentration. I also found it hard to do meal planning.

[tims]

I can relate to this 100% I'm diagnosed with both too. In the UK we have Direct debit which is excellent for monthly budgeting but easily forgotten and cause loads of anxiety if they're not monthly.

[letsdomath]

14:45 It's important to start the discussion about possible solutions and approaches. Again, will each suggestion be feasible or viable? Maybe or maybe not. The issue at hand is that we need to systematically consider all available avenues to navigate through these challenges, and then each of us has to use trial and error to determine which of the proposed solutions (or some as of yet undiscovered alternative) actually works for us at an individual level. Experimentation will be required here and necessary always as we consciously and intentionally seek to improve our lives, so rather than shying away from it, we need to embrace the discomfort of finding what actually works for us.

[letsdomath]

8:19 Because you are living in the regrets of the past versus moving in the new desired direction for the future. From now on, if I paid interest, I will be grateful because I was able to access things that I needed in the moment that made my life easier, and I will pay off my debt as soon as possible. I will also proactively take steps to minimize impulsive purchases by being more mindful of how I spend money and what triggers me to buy stuff I can buy at a later time. I will also see what other support I can get in case I need help with accountability.

Again, the key step here is to starve out self- recrimination and direct your focus and attention to solutions and taking consistent baby steps day after day. As you build this practice, it will become second nature.

[banovsky]

This hit close to home! One thing I’d add is simply that what we can do lies in the realm of stopping (more realistically: reducing) negative self-talk. You referred to some decisions as “stupid”, which might be the case in the moment…but I’d challenge you. It takes a really intelligent person to be able to sit with the discomfort of making a “bad” choice and then to nevertheless try and be kinder to ourselves and make improvements.

Some therapists talk about “bridge statements”, there are several videos here on YouTube, and for me, realizing my “stupidity” is more a matter of self-talk and a skewed perspective than an outright fact has helped a TON in confronting the ADHD tax. Am I still in debt? Sure. Does it feel any better? No. Do *I* feel better about it? Kind of

[Waldemar_la_Tendresse]

I'm repeating myself, but once again this is a very good set of topics.

My approaches or partial solutions to these problems were:
1. Whiteboard to buffer all impulses. Only when, after days or weeks, your head says: “Yes, you want and need that, ” then something is purchased.
2. Find a well-paid area of ​​responsibility that fulfills you thematically, become really good at it and free yourself from permanent positions.
3. A second whiteboard for work items with keywords and references (for example to appropriately designed folders, digital or analogue) can have a lot of impact.
4. Belief in yourself.
5. The financial difficulties are ALSO the result of a long-broken and dysfunctional financial system, so don't take all of it on your own shoulders.
6. No subscriptions if possible.

[letsdomath]

5:33 You need systems in place and/or assistance and additional support so that this situation does not repeat itself. It's not productive nor helpful to chastise yourself. Acknowledge that this is a challenge you are facing, forgive yourself for struggling with this, and look for nonstandard solutions that you haven't considered before. Find something that works for you. Perhaps get someone to help you organize the tools after working on the project and have a checklist on the phone. Treat this as an area of your life that requires extra support and care for the time being rather than a defect. It will free up more energy that you are directing at self-flagellating, which has proved ineffective.

[letsdomath]

11:46 Yes, that happens, so anticipate it. Cut down on visits to mental health professionals and use that money to hire assistants. By temporarily diverting funds to higher impact purchases and services, you will end up saving money and lowering your stress levels significantly.

[letsdomath]

7:13 For these, you need to explore other solutions and accept that you may not get things done the way others do it. Personally, I would save all of the documents on my phone, on the cloud, in my email, and my desktop or laptop, and I would print them an hour or so before the meeting at work or send it to everyone for them to print later in case the printers were down. I would avoid printing them at home if at all possible as that increases opportunities for mishaps.

[letsdomath]

9:38 Yeah, do not enroll in those ever. It's bad practice to set payments and forget them. You want to set aside time every week AND every month to monitor different aspects of your finances with regularity. This is an aspect of financial health and well-being.

[letsdomath]

4:04 Yes, but this experience happens so frequently due to the lack of knowledge and preparation when it comes to negotiating what you are available for and what you are not. We always need to cultivate discernment about what "opportunities" are not a good match for us and will ultimately hinder our progress and adversely impact our health and well-being.

[PatchworkDragon]

The job thing, in so many ways. I recently took a job making less than what I was because of the constant stress. And I'm pretty sure that the only reason I got that job was because my new boss is a former coworker. (It works out great for both of us - I have significantly less stress and she has a hard-working, overqualified employee.)

Another thing that you didn't directly mention is failing big time whenever there is a human salesperson. Not only am I a people-pleaser, but it's fairly easy to sway my opinion on things that I know nothing about. Example: The last time we bought a car, I misunderstood what the warrantee meant and ended up spending a couple thousand extra dollars on something that is of practically no use. But the salesperson said I needed it, so I believed her and got the platinum plan. Costly and embarrassing. The only solution I know for this one is avoidance - and if I can't avoid talking to a salesperson, I make sure to bring someone else with me that isn't such a sucker.

[user]

I've literally misplaced cash in the value of thousands of dollars and found it months later... multiple times.

Most of my expenditures are getting taken for a ride unfortunately...

[letsdomath]

13:57 Ah, yes, when that happens, make a list of these impulsive purchases. Then, start to declutter. Sell them even at a slight loss or give them away for free as a charity donation or something. Basically, justify it to yourself that you got the use you were going to get out of it, and do some spring cleaning.

A lot of this process is releasing guilt or shame and stopping long enough process the lessons you have learned about yourself without judgement and self-bullying.