Breaking the Cold War with Bad Translations

I took Wikipedia’s Timeline of the Cold War and ran it through google translate 50 times using languages with the worst translation quality, this was the result.

MUSIC:
Heavy Water - Hearts of Iron IV
Battle in the Base - Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater
March of the Defenders - Hearts of Iron IV
European Intrigue - Red Alert 3
Marshland - MGS Peace Walker
Red Bread - Team Fortress 2
Lying in Wait - Red Alert 3
Afghanistan's a Big Place - MGSV
Soviet Anthem - Real Life

subscription and thumb thank

[Skully]

Communist Reagan was not something I was expecting

[the_mothdegenerate]

"He has played this game twice" is super cryptic and terrifying

[imcommunist]

never ask a woman her age
never ask a man his salary
never ask he what he did in argentina from 1976 to 1983

[rvmaika]

Khrushchev not being allowed to Disneyland actually happened. Walt was so disappointed, too, he really wanted to show off the submarines.

[JustMe-yrlw]

As a historian i think you can really draw a line between the era before and after Chad retired from golf

[htjmrvd]

Dont ask HE what he was doing in argentina from 1976 to 1983

[theofficialshmul]

The moment he said that chad retired from golf, a tear dropped from my eye

[timmyreobed]

I love how HE has gone from a fairly absurd yet still believably powerful man to basically a god in human form.

[christopherjustice]

I love how Chad gaining independence became “Chad Retired from golf”

[LondonTransport]

‘British Pound’ was one of the most tragic events of the 20th century.

[mingsical]

HE is pretty much omnipotent and can go out in space with no problems, but the Khmer Rogue was too much even for him. Damn

[nineball]

I love how HE is the ''youngest son of communism'' and still fights against communism with America several times.

[unoriginalperson]

It's good to see *HE* survived WW2

[my_thy]

Imagine living in this twisted reality and then some unsong hero known as HE just flys with no airplane and influnces so many major geopolotical events without leaving a trace.

[GhastlyPerson]

That ain't the cold war, that's the Freezing conflict

[xxalbaniannationalistxx]

Imagine if this was the only surviving document left for future historians about the cold war

[notnjx]

The release of Sailor Moon 4 was actually a pretty important, though under-noticed part of the Cold War. Thank you for including it!

[thymerosemary]

I guess when god said "I am He", he wasn't kidding

[ThisRantinger]

HE really got put into prison for warcrimes and then the government said “Damn it, get his sister now”

[pk_]

History of He:

-Singlehandedly wins the battle of Britain, repelling German forces from the Isles.

-Wearing a British uniform, He becomes the leader of the reconquest of Crete from the Germans and establishes a kingdom there, populated by his soldiers and liberated civilians.

-Following his service in the British Army, He begins to make use of his supernatural talents, using Crete as his base of operations. First, he flies thousands of miles without use of a plane.

-After mastering flight on Earth, He flies to the moon and deters a Jupiterian presence there.

-After returning to Earth and making a brief stop in the USA, He makes a flight to Mars, successfully landing. By landing on Mars, He has successfully prevented Jupiter from gaining any ground between itself and Britain.

-Following his victory against Jupiter in the space race, He returns to Earth and enters Argentina in search of nazi exiles. He wages a secret war against the exiled nazi forces of Argentina, employing many inhumane war practices. An international court attempts to sentence him, but no successful attempt at imprisoning him has been reported.

He is basically a superhero in this timeline. He has the ability to fly and defeated the nazis, aliens from jupiter, and maintains peace on Earth.