Drugs and Sobriety

I promise the next vid will be less depressing!

The music in this video is from the OSTs of Ico and The Last Guardian, as well as "Solace" by Earl Sweatshirt

[tedthecommenter]

This is why Disco Elysium is probably my favourite game ever made and I've played every game considered a classic. I've replayed it 7 times, the themes of addiction and psychological trauma and being genuinely relatable to the player is something I've never seen in a roleplaying RPG

[charcs]

That part about getting blackout drunk helping you compartmentalize and stop being overwhelmed by a hundred different things really hit home for me. When I was in doing my Bachelor's I was so much more productive and less overwhelmed, all while getting shitfaced with friends or at parties weekly. I still drink and smoke weed sometimes, but not nearly as much or as frequently, but I feel like there's something I lost when I stopped getting wasted regularly that I haven't really been able to replace, and I'm just constantly freaking out over all the work I have to do and lacking the motivation to do it. I really hope I figure it out eventually, cause I'm a lot happier now but I still need to get my shit together.

[williampiper]

Glad you are sober. I have 16 years sober and the same clean. I drank all my life held back in second grade because of my drinking and there was a picture of me carrying a can of beer in my diaper as a toddler. I'm 68 transfem lived as a man until I was 67 when I came out and started HRT. I used alcohol to deal with wanting to be a woman. In my era, there was no information on gender dysphoria and trans was something that didn't exist. Wishing you all the best.

[kindadumbkindastrong]

Three years sober and the term "raw dogging reality" has really stuck with me

[ben-qkiz]

Just saw that you used "Solace" by Earl Sweatshirt as music in this. Got to be one of the most underrated pieces of music of all time, alongside it being so representational of mental illness. Really appreciate this little detail, as it's a song which has helped me so much. I haven't watched the video yet, but just from seeing this in the description I'm sure it'll be great :)

[gabrielduarteabreudossantos]

i think its good that you are the few youtubers that love to talk about your personal experiences and problems you faced in your life and using videogames as something that we can relate, most people here never felt this type of problems but we can at least try to understand with use of videogames

i hope you have a great day greetings from brazil

[blaiseoffury]

I feel like ADHD has had a strange effect on any possible addictions that could cross my path. With drinking I’ll be craving a drink after a really long day or something and then I’ll be setting up my little bar cart to make something which just leads me to looking at my plants and wanting to take care of them and then after that I switch tracks onto another task. After all this hours have passed and then I suddenly don’t want a drink anymore. I’m too distracted to get addicted lol.

[Syyrenn]

i obviously haven't watched the whole video yet, but i'm excited to hear more of your views on this!
edits as i go, because my brain really wants me to, my insights might not mean much to anyone, but if even one person is helped by my ramblings then i'm happy!

16 is about the time a lot of people fall into nihilism, the school system's major flaws play a huge part in that, it pushes you to a breaking point. Some recognize that early, others are unlucky enough to be successfully taught not to notice it until it breaks you. I know that feeling.

I solidly believe that psychoactive chemicals have a benefit to us as a species, but the way society is set up pushes so many stresses on us that any nice thing that makes us feel better is naturally abused. We treat it as a personal flaw, but it's a flaw of the world we're in.

"getting high with your homies, " as you say, *is* healthy, it greatly helps many people, including you it sounds like!

The mindset of being "your own best friend" is so important! But not everyone is ready for it, the journey gets you to the destination, there's no way to just be at the start, then the finish just because someone described the finish, y'know? if you're at street 1, and i tell you to get to where you wanna go you need to turn left at road 37 when you're on road 36, that doesn't really help until you're at road 36.

I have dissociative identity disorder (diagnosed, before people try to claim i'm "acting for attention, " that bullshit is another topic for another day though.) and it actually raises some interesting things related to the whole "blackout drunk" phenomena, for a lot of my life i've been missing huge chunks of time like that, long before I ever had a sip of booze or a puff of a joint, and it is definitely distressing when you start realizing that's not normal, so i guess i can understand how rough it must feel in hindsight to do that to yourself voluntarily, though i've never technically done it.

mental illness is, put bluntly, a bitch. Drugs definitely help many people with some of that, but you definitely have to be very careful with that, so complete sobriety is definitely an option, but a difficult one. I believe that sobriety, like any drug, is a tool. If your leg is broken, a crutch is important, but if you can manage to walk without it? that's either gonna make the situation much better or much worse.

Final thoughts? sure, why not.
Not all crutches are inherently bad, but learning to not need them in a healthy way is almost always a good thing! Everything in life is a balance, so you need to find your spot where you'll always keep growing and getting better! None of us understand life, not really, we're all pretending we've learnt it all already, but no matter what keeping on learning is the most important thing!

This video was amazing, really got me thinking (as you can probably tell!) so thank you, for this and every video you've made! Here's to keeping on growing *raises a glass of water

[Diptera_Larvae]

I one hundred percent spend the majority of my time worrying about being productive than being productive.

The way you described being blackout drunk, and feeling like someone else was enjoying your life while you were asleep sounded like a really good idea for a video game.

[yourneighbormordecai]

I'm only about a minute in so far but as a film nerd I wanted to say that I love the shot at the beginning of you driving around. Really appreciate the extra effort being put in for the cinematography there.

[goldennight]

At the age you found drugs to help you cope, I found you. You helped keep me from drugs. Our stories are alarmingly similar, but I got lucky because I found things like your channel and other things to keep me from drugs. If not for you and some others. I'd probably be a pill head by now.

[fo]

I've always tried to stay away from alcohol. Weed has been something Ive experimented with and it opened me up in a similar way. I didn't realize people were supposed to have so much fun when listening to music, talking to people, being around family. I didn't know that everything was so dull until it wasn't. It's so terrifying to know that I struggle to experience the range of emotions that most people feel. It feels like I'm watching my life happen in front of me, rather than me being the person I'm watching. It's hard to take control of my life and push myself into the world I've been watching idly. Tho I feel more capable now than I ever have because of art and people, and people like you! Working hard to embody yourself. It's beautiful.

So thank you for everything you've shared. It helps so much

[AnaKatbg]

I was drinking and abusing drugs for 4 years of my life. Went from weed and sleep meds to popping Xanax and codine with a liter of popov. Now 2 years sober now life is more meaningful than it ever was.

[hgmlle]

This video put into words the exact feeling I have about being drunk - stopping being myself for a while. Struggling with ADHD, depression and dysphoria too is making me want to fast forward 5 years once i have those issues sorted out and letting alcohol slow my thoughts down to near halt is the closest i got to that. In the back of my head I have a thought that I should go to therapy, but my ADHD in its current state makes it near impossible for me to actually get it, so the next best option seems like grabbing a bottle. It feels nice to feel something inbetween all the emotional void, but it feels incomparably more crushing to know how unsustainable and destructive substances are. I still haven't reached the bottom I think i could reach, but with each day that I can't get over my inaction gets me closer to that and it's absolutely demoralizing. Combining the effects of my ADHD and lacking motivation or any way to find it makes for a combination of regret, guilt and disappointment that makes forgetting every evening seem like the preferable option, even though I'm not there yet.

[Btomaek]

drugs and alcohol have big withdrew effects

i don't know how people can get over them but i am also glad that you are sober

[saraCFUSA]

I’m 35 and am a non-binary trans woman.

I was a late bloomer with drugs and alcohol but once it began it really took hold. From 20-33 I drank to excess daily.

You name a drug I’ve probably tried it besides a heroin and fentanyl (unless the coke I’ve done has been tainted). I was beginning to get into meth, orally, but I saw myself getting hooked fast. In 2022 I said to myself I can have my gender or the drugs. Not both.

Today I’m 82 days on HRT. Been off all drugs for months and haven’t had a drink since 2020.

Thank you for making this. I suffered for far too long because I couldn’t face who I really was. All of that drinking and drugging did me no good. I’m amazed I built a career and have a wife despite all of it.

All I want is for the next generation of trans folks to not have to suffer the way I did in fear of a world that makes being yourself terrifying.

Accepting being trans and starting HRT gave me my will to live back. I’ve been battling depression since I was a teen but nothing has made me feel more at peace in my body than estrogen has.

[wintermute]

Thank you for making this vid. As someone who's struggled with sobriety a lot you were one of the people who I looked up to for being sober. It's really helpful to have someone like me share their story with those struggles. Also I'm very happy to be clean as well now, thanks girl <3.

[sordidsentinel]

Today - April 8th, 2023 - is my 8 year anniversary of sobriety. Major congrats to you for your success, and respect to you for sharing your personal story so publicly.

To those of you out there who might still be struggling: you will never believe how much better your life can possible be - I promise.

[eirieldreams]

this one really hit me. i love all of your videos, and your guide was pretty much a lifesaver, but i think this one takes the cake. all of the times i’ve almost died, all of the horrible things that have happened to me, those especially. a grim reminder, but well spoken as always. thank you for your videos, even the ones you make for yourself mean the world to us

oh no, i’m oversharing in the youtube comment section again

[dangerrapmusic]

THANK you for putting Solace in the video. This song means a lot to me, and a perfect choice for the video.i also want to congratulate you on your amazing transition!! You're a great Tuber