6 Signs It's Betrayal Bonding, Not Love

Love and relationships can be complex, and sometimes, what we think is love might be something entirely different. In this powerful video, we shed light on the concept of betrayal bonding, which often occurs in relationships involving narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse, and trauma.

A betrayal bond, also known as a trauma bond, is a psychological phenomenon that occurs when a person forms a strong emotional attachment to someone who is betraying, abusing, or causing harm to them.

If you've ever questioned the nature of your relationship or felt trapped in an unhealthy emotional cycle, this video is a must-watch.

#betrayal #love

Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Editor: Caitlin McColl
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Lexis
Youtube Manager: Cindy Cheong

Discount code: "Loyalty" to get 15% off. Only first 50 people.

References:
Carnes, P., Philips, B. (2021). The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships. Simon and Schuster.
Freyd, J. J. (1996). Betrayal trauma: The logic of forgetting childhood abuse. Harvard University Press.

[Scarahehe-xx]

I opened the comment section to see the summary, but then I realised the vid was posted 1 min ago😂

[CBMOA]

Time skips

0:42 Past/Present Abuse
1:25 Codependency
1:58 Manipulation
2:36 Power Imbalance
3:02 Irrational Loyalty
3:23 Repeated Cycles


I’m afraid of going into the repeated cycle

[tobiastk]

This is EXACTLY what happened with a person i have now gladly cut out of my life.
Every single thing said in this video brings back memories from this person.

[aynilaa]

This doesn't just apply to romantic relationships. Dr. Freyd's "betrayal trauma theory" states that it's very traumatic if the person who abuses you and your trust is someone you rely on for safety, survival and resources. This includes family, friends and institutions like schools, workplaces, governments, religious groups...

[cheyannewatkinson]

Hits close to home, I was about to break and go back tonight, but I opened up YouTube to get my mind off of it and saw this. Thank you cause it helped me stay on track and put myself first

[camel_of_the_mojave]

I did not know anybody could more accurately describe my relationship with my parents. Just a damn shame that nobody in my entire life has actually cared about me.

[MikeAnn]

That image at 0:45 of the child (young Psi 🥹) embracing a kitty while being yelled at... ugh. It's heartbreaking. 💔I want to scoop him/her up, give them a big hug, and tell them they're very lovable.

[neofulcrum]

First time I’ve heard of this and I can already sense this is what leads to trust issues

[DeletedCharacter]

Man, sometimes I forget just how helpful this channel can be sometimes. I have an ex that I've been reflecting on as of late, and this video made me realize that I did infact have a betrayal bond with them. All of the points in this video I related to except for maybe the irrational loyalty, and that's kinda just because I didn't have anyone to turn to at the time except for someone who was also dating them and also had a toxic relationship with them. (the 3 of us were in a polyamorous relationship together) We would constantly have this cycle of them being really kind and caring with me, they would slowly become passive aggressive with me and I would notice something was off, but I would try my best to keep quiet so we could keep the peace, things would start to bubble up until we would either have an argument or I'd have no choice but to confront them about it and they'd get upset at me for it. Then they'd refuse to talk to me the next day or even maybe multiple days after we argued, making me freak out in fear due to my abandonment issues. When I'd finally get them to talk they'd guilt trip me and insult me with things that I still hold onto to this day. I'd force myself to not defend myself at all and instead take all the blame and be the one to apologize for everything just so they wouldn't leave. and after, the cycle would continue. They would always tell me that "of course I'm mean, and lash out a lot, and need a lot of time away from things, I have anger issues." But anger issues doesn't make emotionally abusing me okay.

[F_NerdShark]

Anyone else with autism suddenly realise that this was the reason behind literally all your past relationships

[Shattered_shards]

1: past/present abuse
2. Codependency
3: manipulation
4: irrational loyalty
5: repeated cycles

Hey there, I know u prob won’t read this but, u r more special than you think.
Take a break, drink some water, shower, take a walk.
Self love is the most important love, I promise.
Have an amazing day…if nobody loves you, I do. You are amazing and special and things will get better.

[nickolaszissimos]

Any type of trauma bonding can be mistaken for love, it is what narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths use to get people to believe they love them or are in love with them. It is also difficult to get out of for human beings.

[Cherrylime_Studios]

The fact that some of these signs describe nearly all of my friendships is… worrying…

[applentee]

I had this on a long distance relationship. It was hard for me for almost a year being with him. It felt one sided, I invested time on someone who kept saying they'll love me back but that never came much to fruition. I'm no longer with them but it really took me a long time to forget about what they've done. Till this day, I sometimes get flashbacks to that time of my life and it brings me down a little.

[gary_something_else]

Unfortunately I have a friend who's mom screams symptoms of this, her moms boyfriend on several occasions has threatened not only her safety but the safety of her children, if you ask me there are literally no other explanations as to why she wouldn't throw his ass to the streets or just straight up call the cops on him.

[Aan]

Timestamps
1). Past/present abuse 0:41
2). Codependency 1:25
3). Manipulation 1:59
4). Power imbalance 2:36
5). Irrational loyalty 3:03
6). Repeated cycles 3:23

Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[justsomegirlwithamoustache]

I went through this with someone I used to love, overly depend on, realized and stopped chasing after them, worked on myself became better. I started avoiding them. Randomly, they came back to me apologizing for everything they've done. I was skeptical at first until I realized they were being genuine. They weren't happy with who they are and that they hurted many people in the past. They started improving themselves making amends with those they hurted. We got closer than ever, and our relationship was a two-way street. I didn't feel stupid anymore and we'd advise each other in situations. They're one of the only people I truly feel safe with. Tbh It feels like a dream come true but I can't help but worry if this was a mistake. What if I get hurt again?

[tgonfluffyg]

These videos keep making me more aware that I’ve been messed up bad. At least I took some power back by hardly ever talking to my parents. And I’m glad I broke up with my first gf the way I did just wished it didn’t took 6months but I was a teen 😅

[Vhaleri]

THIS HITS CLOSE TO HOME, I'M SO GLAD I WAS ABLE TO SEE THIS FOR MYSELF AND LEAVE.

[s]

I have never heard of this, but it is so relatable in my life. I believe most of my relationships are like this.😢