Why I didn't carry our baby... #LGBTQParenting #shorts #pridemonth

LGBTQ+ Parenting Series 🏳️‍🌈



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[the_pseudo_nim]

"Which one of you is the woman?"
Uh...well we're both dudes so that would defeat the entire purpose.

[whatever]

“If you ask me an invasive question, I’m going to give you a painfully honest answer.” Is my new slogan in life.

[pyswan]

"Why do you ask?" is a good response too.

[sparrowshellcat]

I had a gynaecologist sadly tell me once that even with medical intervention, I was infertile. I sort of awkwardly told her it was okay, I was a lesbian. A light sparked in her eyes, and she excitedly told me my partner could carry the kids. To this day, the most positive reaction medical staff has given me to “coming out”.

[petitevintageladybug]

I get this because I'm in my forties and never had children because my body would never be able to carry a child to term. I knew this from the time I was 14 years old. I have skeletal, muscular and nerve issues that would put both a child and I in danger. So just no.

I've had especially older women tell me I was selfish because I wasn't willing to risk my life for a baby...
Or that I wasn't living up to my full potential as a woman unless I tried to carry a child to term...
And so on...

We never adopted because in my twenties and thirties I helped raise and homeschool my nephew and niece. When I was 21, I cared fulltime for another nephew for the first five years of his life. People don't understand, but these babies are my children. I just never gave birth to them. I put all the unconditional love, hard work, hours and money any parent would, but I'm still not considered a parent by these same women. I am in the eyes of my two nephews and niece so that's all that matters.

[fairpastelfairy]

Some time ago on the phone I told my mom "Mom, I don't think you will get an heir from me...". And she paused for a second and then said "My dear, I've already known that for a very very long time.". One of the most reassuring moments ever, because we never talked about it before but she still knew <3

[rockercaterrorencountered]

someone said to answer invasive questions with "I'm suprised you feel comfortable asking that" and I feel like that's an appropriate response in this situation.

[fondasharkey-wyatt]

My daughter called me, crying, asking me if I would be disappointed with her if she didn't have children. I told her she shouldn't even have to ask me that. That decision is between her and her partner. And my pride in her has nothing to do with her having children.

[alietheartist]

“Oh when you’re pregnant...” Me: “That’s a hell no from me!”

[harmonium]

"When are you gonna have kids?/How many?"
_"The bloodline ends with me."_

[yveltal_says]

Not to mention ace couples who wanna adopt instead of carrying. It’s insane how people just EXPECT everyone to have sex and then have kids. Some of us only want the kids part, and that’s okay

[fouroutthedoor]

This! The last time someone asked me when I'd be having a third child, at which time I informed them I'd had prolapsed organs after the 2nd and no longer had a uterus. Certainly stops more questions! LOL

[kyletatore]

"I can be blissfully inlove with my baby and still be sad about my infertility" I think I needed to hear that. My bfs older sister is struggling so hard to have a baby. Her younger sister recently just had one an when I say she looks heart broken everytime she has to hand that baby back after holding them you have no idea. Shes ganna make a great mom when she does have one I have alot of hope for her! If she adopts or not isn't my business I wanna see this women happy!

[jennifers]

I find answering a rude question with, “Why do you want to know?” reveals the motive of the question and helps me decide to answer or not. (That is if they give me an answer, mostly they don’t say why they want to know and that ends the conversation.)

[skeletonfear]

“So how did you get to choose who would carry the baby?”

“You see Karen, I took my DND dice and rolled for pregnancy! Not happy with the answer, you did ask.”

[RowanWarren]

I didn't want children. I'm married to a man who's my best friend, but we just don't want children. Even now, at 44, people still tell me I must secretly want kids and that "there's still time to change my mind".🙄

[pinkyhc]

If Jessica admonished me in her classy, unyielding, assertive manner I think I'd burst into tears from the shame of it.

[biscuit]

My PE coach was pregnant last year (she’s in a gay marriage) and so many people in class kept asking her questions like that until she eventually got tired of it and took a class day to explain to everyone how incredibly rude it is. She then proceeded to test us on her lecture that Friday. Needless to say there were no more questions, at least from my class there weren’t any more questions.

[statementofjoespooky]

I got a hysterectomy when I was 18 and my god, every one always wanted to know why and what would i do if i wanted kids and was i sure I wouldn’t regret it and just so many stupid and rude questions. There’s no reason to ask those things, and especially not for something so personal.

[me_MadMel]

Once I got asked why I wasn’t a mommy even though I’m in a looong relationship. I answered that I didn’t come with the maternity chip. To be honest, I meant mentally, but the fact that they thought I meant physically brought the awkwardness to the adequate level