My complicated relationship with my parents.

[adrianaordonez-vargas]

"The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise."
Alden Nowlan

[todb]

64 here, and SMILING! Many of us go through these stages of recognition and adaptation. Enjoy the startling journey...

[eineperson]

I am not sure you know how lucky you are when it comes to your parents. Not everybody experiences their parents as heroes when they are little and a lot of people have to fight really hard to not become like their parents in order to form healthy relationships as an adult and to protect their children. The kind of open-mindedness, self-reflection and sensitivity your parents seem to encompass is phenomenal

[jcmoreno]

It's like that saying my grandma here in Mexico always says: "Como te ves yo me vi, como me ves te verás."

"How you see yourself, I once saw myself. How you now see me, you will one day see yourself."

[agyos]

How could I accurately judge my parents as adults, before I myself was an adult? Brilliant! Your reflections are always enlightening. Thank you!

[TonyHightower]

Oh, dude. I keep forgetting your age. This feeling of generational vertigo never, ever, ever goes away. You're listening to their life-echoes inside your own head forever.

[kimowens]

As a parent, this post makes me very happy!!! I'm 59, my daughter's 27 and we get along SO much better than we used to and I can feel her soften towards me and I sense more respect. Those teenage years were so hard, and worrisome. In my teenage years I used to get so mad when I'd hear that's "just a phase" in reference to being a teenager. I'm like "NO, this is me as a person, it's not because I'm in a "phase"!!!! Well, now I see it's a bit of both. I'm a nurse, so I know about the stages of development. I'm loving this older "stage" I'm in. And I LOVE the stage my daughter and I are in together right now. Thank you for sharing this. I hope your all's relationship just gets better and better!

[theparisdream]

You're fortunate to have parents who have encouraged & supported the decisions you've made. To be able to take the artistic path and pursue living abroad - wow, I wish. Your parents seemed like they were pretty open minded - even back then. You are quite fortunate to have them as parents.

[heather]

You are so young, I never realised. I remember having this revelation about my parents about the same age. I am the same age as your parents. I became more and more empathetic to their challenges as time went on. Seeing my grandparents as their parents was also an eye opener. There is another phase to come and that is when parents can’t cope on their own anymore and really need your help. This may involve sacrifice but keeping a strong and loving relationship helps a great deal in navigating these later years. No time or energy you spend helping them in that phase will ever cause regret. Your parents have given you a great gift by moving closer to you. Time goes so quickly. Your desire to do your best will carry you a long way. Lots of love and good wishes. ❤️

[yvonneandbeyond]

So relatable! Yes, I've had so much more acceptance, tolerance, and appreciation toward my parents in my later 20s! I have also realized that I can get into the same manic work mode as my dad and I also have the adventurous/opportunistic spirit of my mom. My older sister and I have lately been saying these kinds of things a lot: "Uh...you sound just like Dad" or "That's exactly what mom would have done." Great video!

[relatablered]

Loving this. Our twenties and thirties are definitely a time we can look back and give our parents more grace. There are realizations like "wait, they were just young adults doing their best back then..." and admittedly they had less resources and access to mental health, environmental, dietary, and medical knowledge than we do today. It's complex but so worthwhile to look at them through different eyes as we age...and as they continue to as well.

[alaenke]

I love it when you just talk to the camera. I forget that you are younger than my youngest son. 
What you have to say resonates across time and generations. I remember discovering similar things about my own parents 40 years ago. 
So glad you followed your heart and scaled back, so you can love what you do and take us along with you.

[Catalina-oh]

If my adult children would ever have these insights and I found out, I could die right then and there a happy mom. Also, I am 66 years old but I find the older I get the more I tell my mom (whos been gone 16 years now) how very very sorry I am.

[bellaluce]

I love that you and your parents are all such deep thinkers and share a loving, artsy vibe! ❤ I had a tricky childhood I'd never want to inflict on anyone, so I'm grateful I now understand how much my parents' choices were determined by things *other* than genetics. The same palette of colors can be used to paint very different pictures! 🖌💖🎨

[DivaDavis]

Thanks for this! I’m older now with grown sons of my own, working amongst people your age. In my head i am one of them yet at the same time I’ve maybe got a ton more perspective because I’ve explored what I’m about. Oddly there are times when i wish my parents were still alive to discuss their perspectives as I sometimes missed the chance - taking them at face value and now I wish i went deeper.

[dionline]

Hindsight is always 20/20 - and it's always interesting when people begin to realize that they are more like their parents than they ever thought they were or would be. You're blessed to have come to this realization now - while your parents are still young so you can forge new paths with them and to them. This is a gift. Take it and run with it!

[Aghinia]

I’m experiencing the same way - you realize more and more as you age the good and bad things you learned from your parents. Right now I’m noticing the attachments I have on certain things, thinking they are “normal” or “it’s supposed to be that way” when in fact is a product of watching your parents having the same attachments to those things as well. Aging is honestly so hard yet so beautiful.

[sabineor]

I can totally relate. I am also 26 y. o. and the older I got the more I realized all the similarities between me and my parents, some shocking and scarry and some beautiful and funny. I like how you brought your reflections on this to screen, I had similar thoughts lately. We cannot suppress these similarities, as they were sown in us very early on due to our upbringing. But we can reflect on them, use them to better understand our parents, possibly forgive them and learn from them. Somehow it is magical to know that a part of our parents lives on in us, no matter what relationship we have with them.

[HabeebKolawole]

its like the song, the older I get, the more that I see, my parent aren't heroes, they just like me

[lilianmcleod]

It’s an interesting moment when you realize that your parents are just people and not necessarily heroes. You are lucky to be able to have that conversation with them.