How to know if you're bisexual or a lesbian?

How to know if you're bisexual or a lesbian?

Hey besties! So how do you know if you're bisexual or a lesbian? I share as much of my own personal knowledge with you as possible to help try and figure that out! Remember that labels are optional and you never actually have to come out if you don't want to :) I love you all so much and can't wait to chat in the comments!

Loveee, Dutchy xxx

[MsDickerz]

Have you ever wondered whether you were bisexual or a lesbian? 🌈✌️

[charlie.tt]

I think another difficulty that didn't really get touched upon here is differentiating between platonic and romantic feelings. I think sexual attraction is a bit easier to determine because it's often quite physical, but determining if you like a guy in a really close but friendly way, or a "potential partner" way can be hard and add to the confusion.

[lavenderrosecosplay]

I think the hardest thing for me about being bi is that people around me don't think you have preferences. I am mainly attracted to women, but I also find nb/genderqueer people super attractive. I rarely notice cis men. People are like "what about him? I thought you were bi".

It can be frustrating. Sometimes I want to say I'm gay just to stop the pressure from others to notice men. But then it feels like I'm using a word that isn't mine.

~Thank you, Dutchy. I really appreciate your openess and creating a safe space for us.

[rkivelover]

I thought I was bisexual for a whole year and now I’m fairly sure my “attraction” to men was just a messy combination of daddy issues, the need for male validation, comphet and not being able to differentiate between platonic and romantic attraction…. although I don’t feel like the label lesbian fits me because I’m also attracted to a lot of genderqueer and non binary people… so I’m just gonna say gay?

[ashboheme]

I have never been friends with a guy in all my 18 years without having a "crush" on them, or so I thought. I never knew the difference between a platonic and romantic relationship. A year ago I thought I was bisexual because I found men attractive, but I'm not actually attracted to them. I've found that I "liked" men because I needed validation and I knew it would disappoint my Christian family if I only liked girls. With guys, I have only ever found some of them physically attractive. But with women, I am emotionally, mentally, and physically attracted to them. It took me a long time to admit it to myself, but I'm a lesbian. You have no idea how much you have helped me in this journey of learning. Thank you.

[sea]

I used to have really intense crushes on guys in both primary and high school. I would obsess over them and tell my friends how much I liked them…. Nothing ever happened with them because I would never allow it. Never. Whenever a guy had a crush on me or just got too friendly I would be super uncomfortable and panic. I find guys attractive on surface level, but I don’t want anything more. I feel so much better knowing that about myself now. I was so confused for so long. And you helped me realise that so thanks Dutchy!

[Iseeblue]

I definitely am a lesbian and my “feelings” towards guys was me basically hiding and suppressing my true feelings. Like with men i feel more of a bro relationship not like a romantic one and I can’t picture myself with a man but i can with a woman

[violetcarnation]

I need this bc I came out as bisexual to my friend a couple months ago but now I'm starting to think I'm lesbian but idk for sure

[RumpledRegina]

I'm bisexual and I do have a little caveat in the part where you talk about who we find hot superficially but is not for us. This can happen in all sexualities (yes, even str8) The trick in my opinion is to know if you're a person who's more attracted to a personality than a look and then discern if you actually have a sexual attraction for that person. If everything checks, then what's the pattern? Mixed? Heavily one sided? Also my advice is not to fall in the trap of thinking you're not "insert sexuality" enough. If that's the only reason you struggle with finding your label, toss that thought right away, you are enough.

[awaitingabyss]

I've been questioning again lately after some changes to my life. When I was a teenager I considered myself a lesbian, then my parents put me through conversion therapy with a local church and afterwards I considered myself bisexual but I was never with another woman. It's been 12 years and now I'm questioning if I'm just experiencing compulsory heterosexuality. Its extremely rare for me to ever find a guy attractive and the guys I have dated or talked to in the past was only after they showed interest in me. I'm finally in a relationship with a woman and I've never had the feelings flirting or talking to a guy that I do when talking or flirting with her.

[m.k.]

Well... I still don't know. So I'm just going by the terms queer & sapphic and they actually make me feel feel very comfortable for now🥰🌈

[lexapro]

yes I'm a biromantic homosexual and it was so confusing to figure out my sexuality, but now I embrace it and love being a gay girl x

[alexandrah]

You've been a big part of me figuring out who I am so I am so grateful for you ❤️ I'm still unsure :( but still you've helped me so much

[plcatalano]

The main thing that hit me on the head was the fact that a lesbian can be attracted to a man, but not actually want to be with him. I’ve felt a small attraction to a man, but I didn’t think that meant I was bi, because I didn’t feel bi. I felt gay, but tolerating myself being the smallest bit attracted to a man. Thank you for clearing this! :)
I’ve still got a long ways to go, but I wanted to begin with a label that made me happy until I might change. Thank you. :)

[memali]

Honestly at this moment I'm just so confused. For the past 2 years I've considered myself to be bisexual, but lately I've just been falling even more in love with girls and find that I don't feel very interested in men. I just don't really know what's going on lol

[ivoryvaughn]

I needed this because this question has been nagging at my mind for months😭💜✨

[Holly]

I’m so glad I watched this because I have been struggling with figuring out my sexuality and this has helped me decide that I am not wanting to put labels on myself right now and I will see how it turns out along the way. ❤❤ thank you 😊

[zs]

When you said that some people settle in relationships because of heteronormativity, I felt that sooo deeply!! In every romantic encounter I’ve had with men, I’ve always felt like I should’ve had stronger feelings for them but I just…didn’t? Like when all my ex boyfriends told me they loved me, I just knew internally I didn’t feel the same and was doing girlfriend-y things because I felt I had to and it all felt like an act. It never felt genuine and it just felt like something I HAD to do because I found men attractive and wanted to be with them s3xually but romantically, I just felt very…meh. I genuinely felt like I was on the aromantic spectrum. It wasn’t until I turned 26 and I started dating women that so many things started falling into place ❤️

[rage_of_aquarius]

Ok, but is there a sexuality where you're painfully disappointed in all people, but are passionately in love with many fictional characters?
Can I still call myself bi if real men make me ill in person?

[dizzymisslizzy]

a year ago i thought i was bi. turns out im gay