How To Change Your Personality

In today's video, we're delving into the intriguing topic of personality transformation. Join us as we explore diverse methods to shift and evolve your personality.

We'll navigate various strategies and techniques aimed at facilitating personality growth and change. Tune in to discover insights into reshaping aspects of your character and embracing the journey of self-improvement.

▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00 - Introduction
00:55 - What IS personality?
01:52 - Narcissists
04:05 - How do we change that?
05:00 - Metacognition and meta-emotion
09:25 - The problem with drawing conclusions
12:11 - How to change
14:04 - Buddhist perspective
15:46 - Closing Thoughts

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All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.

#healthygamergg #lifeadvice #changepersonality

[stronkloli]

- personality:
1. how we interpret info
2. how we react to circumstances
3. how we behave
- common element between therapies:
1. meta-cognition: the way we feel about our thoughts
2. meta-emotion: the way we feel about our emotions
- its not the thoughts, emotions, circumstances themselves. its the way we react to those thoughts, emotions or circumstances that actually determines our destiny.
- fixing things out there XXXX
- u control your conclusions
- don't let the conclusions you've made about yourself go unchecked
- you've surrounded yourself w ppl you have to go the extra miles for
- change the way you interpret situations, react to external changes
- observe/ be careful of the conclusions u draw from your experiences in your mind OOOO
- craft the conclusions you have about yourself
- observe your mind <3

[СергейВишнев-тю]

I think it's not "changing personality" but "healing your damaged personality". So when you are healed, it's not "new you", it's the real you with healed damages.

[charlottearjmand]

It's either Dr.K is a wizard that can always post the thing I need exactly when I need them, or I'm so messed up that everything he posts is something I need.🙂

[GenOfEveL]

Sucks that negative experiences impact us so much more than positive ones… but it’s really good to know that fact!!

[mitthrawnuruodo]

came at the perfect time. I learned yesterday that it isn't the external events that make me happy, its how I react to them. We must accept life for how it plays out. Not how we want it to play out. i will meditate on this lesson.

[killaknight]

This is a really important lesson! For like 3 years I had really toxic classmates, that made me feel like a loser and bullied me, so even after graduating whenever I met people, I behaved like they didn't like me and as if I'm just a nuisance to them. It took me a really long time to realize that most people aren't this toxic, to change my cognition towards a neutral stance or even seeing the possibility that new people actually want to engage with me in a positive way.

[Silvabacc]

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment" - Marcus Aurelis

"We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them." - Epictetus

This is so similar to what the Stoics say about how we react to the external things in life. Anything outside of our mind is not within our control but what is in our control is literally our mind. Quite cool that they discovered this around 300 B.C. I would highly recommend for people to look into Stoic philosophy


Amori fati

[VNM-Venom]

Since I discovered this channel its helped make me more motivated to pursue Psychology as a bachelors and in grad education. I want to do what Dr. K has done for others and myself and help them be the best they can be.

[thorblessing]

Getting these videos recommended feels like a personal attack by youtube

[halfmoonyogi]

One of my favorite quotes, "watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become."

[fishraposo]

That's basically how I got out of narcissism. It's quite amazing to see a video like this after all those years.

[khaledyasser]

I think there needs to be more information on HOW to change this "meta cognition". From my understanding, the concepts of meta cognition/meta emotion are similar to the concept of an "identity" or "ego". If someone breaks up with you, and you have the IDENTITY of a loser, then you will interpret it as "Welp, I deserve this for being such a fucking loser, I'll never do anything right, etc".

This is all cool, but HOW do I change the identity/meta cognition of being a loser? I can't seem to "out debate" my mind to convince it (that's like playing against yourself in chess). Writing down evidence for and against doesn't really work too well either.

The most important thing for changing identity for me has been exposure to contradictory evidence. REPEATED, small exposures. I used to think of myself as socially inept, so I tested that theory. I started by going to meetups I found online, and my only goal was just to go. I didn't embarrass myself in such a way that it would shame my entire bloodline (which was what I expected). Next, I moved up my goal to starting conversations with people at said meetups. Then I moved my goals further and further. I feel pretty comfortable in social situations now, and so I CANNOT maintain the identity of being socially inept. How can I? There is a lot of contradictory evidence.

I find that the most important part is REPEATED exposure. For instance, I used to think of myself as someone who is not into sports or lifting. Doing 4 15 minute workouts at different days did WAY more to change that conclusion than a single 1 hour workout would have, even if the duration is the same.

[NiblaTheCosmic]

"starting to fear the fear" is what has stunted my growth as a person (22M). Mix that with ideas of masculinity (e.g., being courageous), and you have a recipe for shame.

What happens when young men feel shame... The reclusion/avoidance we see today.

[proteusblack]

Self awareness and emotional self intervention relies on a kind of mental "muscle" memory. Meditation is actually something that develops and strengthens that muscle the more you do it. The stronger you make that muscle, the easier it becomes to quickly connect with, notice, and take control of your meta-cognition in any moment and do what you want with it.

[ClassyJohn]

It makes sense to think that our personalities are shaped by our actions which, if we're full of ego and controlled by our emotions, then our actions are driven by our insecurities and traumas. Because of this, different people can observe different personalities from the same person. A guy could be extremely helpful and nice to his mother but very cold and mean to his girlfriend.

I want to add that the internet is notorious for having people that have different personalities (helping one person but not helping another person, being mean to someone but nice to someone else. That is certainly including this community.

[KohzieD]

This video is huge. I was actually making changes on the way I feel about information and my emotions for the better a few years ago. My friends and family noticed a change in my personality and they asked me how I did it, like I had some sort of superpower, and it was difficult to put into words. They assumed me having this flexibility was just part of my personality, but I was actually changing it. Now I can help them better understand their own personality and what they can do to change themselves for the better.

[Noir_Nouveau]

I started dancing it changed my level of comfort in social situations and my body language.

[piquantement]

If you could, I would love a video on how to learn healthy conclusions about your behavior and what you could fix. I've learned to not automatically believe my automatic conclusions, but it's instead left me feeling confused and unsure when I could be doing something better.

[Doofito]

This was beautifully said. I’ve been doing this for the past year and a half without even realizing it, and it’s genuinely changed my life. I’m literally a completely different person from who I was a year ago, it’s literally night and day. Listen to what he’s saying guys

[me]

A word of advice for everyone that I have just enacted in my life: never work for someone you don't want to become.

I just quit my PhD program and have registered to transfer to a new one this spring. I had some very strong disagreements with my PI about how to approach research, mentorship, and academia, and our values were, to put it simply, very different. I definitely left a very prestigious position, but no amount of academic renown is worth turning into something I don't like. And I am confident this applies to industry as well.