4 Ways to Tell if He's Falling in Love... or Love Bombing you

Learn how to tell if a man is falling for you OR just trying to manipulate and control you through affection in this deep-dive video!

Is he love-bombing me? How can I tell if he's using me? How do I know if he really loves me? I get asked questions like these ALL THE TIME by clients, students and women in my life... so I created a video explaining the 4 key ways to tell the difference between early-stage romantic love and a man who is just trying to use romance to use and manipulate you.

TIMELINE
0:00 - Intro
1:02 - Defining Honeymoon Phase and Love Bombing
3:02 - 1) Freedom vs. Control
5:27 - 2) Fast (but Controlled Build) vs. Runaway Train
7:58 - 3) Realistic Compliments vs. Idealized Flattery
9:57 - 4) Gradual Shifts vs. Abrupt Transitions
13:14 - Another Important Love Bombing Point
14:24 - Recap of All 4 Ways

If you want more support in creating the life and love of your dreams, this is how I can help you ❤️ 👇

Let's Stay Connected!

[beguileme]

Unfortunately, Narcissists want to "know" all about you so that they can gaslight you later. You cannot know this early in a relationship.

[allywolf]

Narcissists can give you everything you want. They clearly do at the beginning. But then they choose to remove that behavior

[swakefield]

Initially, the narcissistic attention is very intense and complimentary, they want to know everything about you and everything they find out is perfect. You are put on a pedestal and they are texting or speaking with you constantly - and often they make a point of wanting to know your deepest fantasies - they will tempt you to share even if you wouldn’t normally. Once they get the hang of it, they will feed your ideal image back to you - making you feel you’ve just met your soulmate - even if it really is just a reflection of your own thoughts. In reality, narcissists find it much harder to deliver because to them sex is about supply and control, the other person in the equation is just there to supply fuel, there is no sense of real connection (although sometimes it might superficially seem that way because of them following scripts from romance/porn). If it seems very intense, it’s probably not real. Walk away ladies, the shitload of trouble afterwards - never worth it.

[sunshinedayz]

Go s-l-o-w getting to know men. Be open and sweet, but guard your heart. Don't have sex until you really get to know him(wait until love or until you are sure of his character and commitment. Then less chance of us getting used)
It is easier to leave if intimacy hasn't happened and we aren't sexually attached.

[eexulhk]

I have learned, the extremely hard way, to start making a pro/con list with each new interaction. It serves several purposes: it gets your considerations and thought processes outside your head where they can be tangible as separate from you and helps with objectivity when you’re caught up in feels; serves as a record of the things you notice, want to remember, and red flags; serves as validation to your own experience so that you are less likely to let things slide that really shouldn’t. Just starting the list primes your brain and sets you up to have space to observe and choose, like meditation does.

Second tip is to get yourself into such a good calm fulfilled place in your life and your daily experience that the upsetting impact a toxic person will have on you will be strong. You will be unable to function, your mind will be consumed, and you’ll feel like you’re going utterly crazy in short order so it seems like you’re the one that’s such the problem by reflecting back to them your feelings that they will disengage and run away. When toxic people self-select out of your life, because you are respecting and honoring yourself, that initial sense of rejection and abandonment can quickly be transmuted to triumph and pride.

The more and more you notice, recognize, and honor your feelings, the more impenetrable you’ll be to the ever increasing inevitability that you will have to go through this process.

If you’re feeling crazy, it’s them, not you.

[AnnieSingz]

Im a female I was raised by a narc. I definitely have traits. Before I started working on healthy ways of expressing love I definitely could of fallen into the category of love bombing. I truly truly believed this person I had just met was my soulmate. I truly believed I love him. I complimented him highlighting everything I saw in him. It was a lot. I pushed him away with my intense affection he thinking it was impossible for me to truly feel that way so soon. I was unbalanced and unaware of a lot of things about me. I couldn’t let him go and wondered if he was a narc because he would always return but nothing would change I then saw that nothing changed because I hadn’t and labeling him anything just got in the way of me focusing on me. I’m Believing I attracted him to bring light to and help me become more aware of my own issues. Anyways I just felt like sharing. I’m thinking these can describe a narc but I also believe these things aren’t so black and white just my perspective tho. Yay for growth!

[jenniferhudson]

I have been married for 28 years to a man who treated me so special for a number of years only to find out that he is 100% narcissist and very mean also. Now he only complains about everything I say or do and I no longer want to be with, go with or talk with him. It’s all about him. He tells his friends and random people that I never do anything, that I either spend all day sleeping or on my phone. I am planning on going back to work, at the age of 72, in order to get free of him for good. I have to have 3 more back surgeries in order to do this. Please pray for me.

[edwardjohnson]

I just recently got LOVE BOMBED. Didn't know what was going on. NOW I DO. Our relationship fit exactly what you said to a tee. He was NARCISSISTIC and did EVERYTHING his way, disregarding MY needs. I wondered why we would break up several times. He blamed it on me every time. I would call and apologize, but now I realize, it was REALLY him. This last time, i
Did not call him. Hopefully, he will stay away. This relationship was VERY hurtful, and I am glad I am finally moving on.
THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing. 💟

[helienwatson]

I believe my husband of 18 years was a narcissist. I endured years of controlling behaviors. One thing I remember in the beginning when we were dating is that, besides him always trying to impress me, he made some very negative comments about women. But then added that I wasn't like that. I think that could be a sign to watch for--disrespectful comments or attitudes towards women in general. Even if it's not directed towards you in particular.

[christineplaton]

We need to see how they interact with others, how they work through problems with others. Do they have friends do they care about your family? If they cut you off from anyone in anyway back out. Don't ever be totally controlled or vulnerable. It's not good to lose your rights of income, ownership etc. If they can't trust you, you can't trust them.

[Bop]

Within a month of seeing this person, I took a short vacation and came back and he told me "Where have you been all of my life" ? I was shocked, cause we really had not gone on any real dates. Then over a few months of meeting in public places, the real person showed up with not so nice words!

[sarahsageluna]

Thanks mat, I’ve been heartbroken for over a week now about this guy I was dating and wanting to let it go but energetically not knowing how. You mentioned the abrupt shifts and it got me thinking about how he did that after our 3rd date. He showed me his true colors and I stuck around because he has so many other traits that I loved. But he wasn’t genuinely in love with me or interested in me. He was just trying to control another thing in his life. This has given me something more to think about and added a piece to the puzzle for me in letting go and moving on to bigger and better things in my life. Thank you.

[moniquetrujillo]

I'm totally being love bombed. I had kind of thought so but I'm positive now. Thanks for this video it helped me alot!

[frances]

It’s so comforting to know there are men out there exposing Narcissist I am still trying to recover after five years from one after I left another one for 30 years. I’m well educated and I still can’t believe how damaged my mind is over these men but I’m getting better thank you so much it’s good to hear these words from a man

[DanaD-erdn]

30 years in the cycle for me, I wish this info was readily available back then.

[lichiehrb]

He wasn't real and he isn't coming back. Damn...
Thank you.

[lisahenderson]

I wish I had heard this before my last marriage. When I thought he was being supportive he was actually trying to gather control. You made such valid points. It was all true. What was worse as I worked for years in sw helping others so seeing it myself was really hard.

[gorcie]

damn. I was love-bombed and stayed in a relationship with her for 8 years. I lost all my confidence and possibly a better future. I'm so glad I got out and karma might be smiling at me right now because I am being blessed with the kindest, most caring and thoughtful woman now whose love I trust. Life, from now on, will be beautiful.

[aliceglass]

This was eye opening! Thank you. Everything I was feeling in my last relationship has now been validated. The last few weeks before I split with him I felt that switch and I saw all that had been going on. I thought he was my person and then the whole energy dynamics shifted. It was very strange. Thank you for this video 😘🙏

[nelitzaamaro]

Excellent in the way you show the difference between one & another. Great job!!!! Looking forward to hearing more from you.