I Tried to Stop Taking My Meds Again

I'm trying to be more open about the complicated and difficult relationship I have to taking my psychiatric medications. My psychiatrist and I decided to try to very gradually taper down on my meds with the ultimate goal of reducing or even removing the need for them. Due to various stressors in my life right now, it did not go great. I will listen to my body and brain to figure out when might be a good time to try again.

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#schizophrenia #schizoaffective #schizoaffectivedisorder #mentalhealth #mentalillness #medication #psychmeds #everydayItake8pills

[LivingWellwithSchizophrenia]

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[baneverything]

I wait sometimes several days to take my meds. I start feeling horrible then take them. They`ve damaged my brain and changed my personality. I`m a musician and the meds have seriously affected my memory. Sometimes all I think about is leaving the planet. I suffer so much. I`m gonna try my best to stay here and help others.

[moxie]

I'm so glad you seem to have a psychiatrist who listens to you and respects your wishes.

[kitty_duckie]

Each time you destabilize, it becomes more difficult to stabilize. That's why I stay on my meds.

[peternolan]

Hello Lauren and Rob,

I'm 68 and the last time I was hospitalised was in late 2007 and I know for certain if I stop taking Dolmatil(sulpiride) I will have a fourth psychotic episode.

All the best and many thanks,

Peter Nolan. Ph.D.(physics). Dublin. Ireland.

[k.a.]

I know your frustration, but I'm telling you that even with MDD getting off meds is a no no for me. As soon as I have tried it becomes MUCH HARDER to re-stabilize. People think depression and anxiety are not as serious as psychotic disorders, and it's easier to go med free. Sometimes its not. Good luck. I wish you well 💖

[AmyAndThePup]

I had a conversation once with my therapist. I said I was struggling with how many psych meds i was on. She said (paraphrasing) that if people have a heart condition or cancer, it doesn't matter if they need meds, it's just accepted. Her point was that society accepts physical illness and the medications needed for those far, far more than it accepts medications to help our minds function in daily life.
In short, I'm on several medications. I tried going down on one of my meds last year or the year before, and it didn't work. I've tried several times over the years to see if I could come down on one or the other of them, with mostly negative results.
I've accepted that, for now, I need them to function and live well. If someday I decide to try again, I can always do that. But right now, life is stressful enough without playing with medication dosages.
I hear you about the longterm effects, and not knowing what they might be. But the question we have to ask ourselves--you, me, anyone else watching this, strugglign with this same dilemma--is this: With life stress, work, financial issues, relationships, and everything else, is it the best time? And if not, that's okay. You aren't a failure because you need the meds to function.
I have the brain fog from antidepressants. I struggle to remember things, and often need bits of either TV shows or conversation connected and explained by others. I struggle with song lyrics to newer songs. I used to memorize them with great ease. My fiance said he thinks it's just part of the aging process. I'm not sure. It's maddening. I used to pride myself on having a good, sharp memory. It's a little terrifying to not have that, or to not feel like I have that.
Hang in there. Keep your head up, and do what's best for you. Remember: You are not a failure.

[Anne_Onymous]

I used to stop taking my meds because I felt better.
I definitely had to learn the hard way that the reason I felt better was literally because I was taking them.
Side effects, etc CAN be annoying; but I'm so grateful that I live in a time that even has meds that can help.

[filippo]

What about only focusing on lowering the dosage for now? You don’t necessarily have to set the goal to cut out medications completely. You may need to find the minimum dose that’s still effective against symptoms, but allows you to experience less side effects. I had to do this with my antidepressant with which, like you, I have a complicated love/hate relationship. The goal of treatment should be to maximize quality of life, not keeping you “stable” at all costs. Who cares if you’re a “stable” zombie? That’s something some doctors still struggle understanding unfortunately. I’ve come to the conclusion that for me personally life is neither good with too little nor too much medication 😌. Keep trying to find the right balance at your own pace and at the right time :)

[williamruse]

I tapered off one my meds strictly for the purpose of lessening a disabling side effect and it was successful 🙌 I wish you the best in your future trials with meds.

[vonjess]

TWO of my love ones are dealing with this issue. I appreciate All of your work you do for yourself, your family and education to the world. I pray for you and all who have this. Xoxo

[JesusSaves]

Hi Lauren,

Please don’t be so hard on yourself! Look at all of the major things you have accomplished thus far in your life! You don’t seem “different” to me in any way whatsoever when you are on your medication. The only difference I have noticed is the past couple of months (and maybe that was when you were tapering off)?

Look at how much you have accomplished! Finishing school, finding a great partner, being a co-parent to 2 children and having a brand new baby with your partner, running this amazing channel, having a beautiful place to live, looking so pleasant, being able to run the way you do - you have so many beautiful gifts and have achieved so much. Please do think any lower of yourself for taking your medication. I am not an expert, but I think it’s helping you to be able to contribute so much to the world and have a wonderful family! I’m praying for you Lauren and I believe you will be just great! And yes, you are so right. The past couple of years must have been incredibly stressful with Co-Vid, homeschooling and a new baby, so I wouldn’t personally change anything now (but that’s just my opinion)!! 🙏💖

[catherinebooth]

Hi Lauren,
I don’t have schizophrenia but I have a complicated relationship with anti-seizure medication I take for epilepsy and mitochondrial disease.
I wish more people understood that medications don’t cure us, they manage symptoms.
It’s understandable to want them to do more, or to wish for the condition to go away without medication.
It can be hard to manage expectations a lot of the time. And as an educated person you know enough to drive yourself to distraction with all of the possibilities.
I am glad you are able to talk to family and your psychiatrist about this.
Sending love.

[terricrowe]

Oh, Lauren, I completely get this. For my own medication struggles, I finally got to the point that I realize that just like someone needs insulin to correct a wonky pancreas, I need medication to correct a wonky brain. The struggle with that is on-so real, and I wish you the very best of luck as you continue on the journey. Hugs.

[edward]

i take zoloft so i can't imagine the sides of antipsychotics, but i know for sure meds are life saving, they saved me from a future suicide i had planned.

[rachelmarie]

I wish you and your family all the best in this world ❤️

[CB-vtic]

This is such an incredibly common theme for all of us who struggle with mental health issues! I and everyone else I talk to about being on medication for mental health reasons wishes to not be on pills. But I know now from experience that it's just not an option for me. The only way I can rationalize and feel at ease about my meds is to think of it like this... if I had a disease or illness of any other part of my body, like my heart or my lungs for example, I would 100% take the medication prescribed to me and I would never even consider to stop taking them because I know I need them. So why should it be any different for a disease or illness of my brain?! Is my brain not part of my body? It's possibly the most important part of my body. So if my brain has an illness why would I not take the medication that is going to help it?
Anyways that's just my way of dealing with the feeling of wanting to stop medication or living med free or whatnot.
Take care, and know you are not alone ❤️

[savingfelvkitties]

Thanks for educating people. Unfortunately many people need to stay on their meds. Glad you are doing this with talking to your doctor keep doing that.

[cindyperez]

Keep talking about your truth. Giving a voice to it is vital to one’s soul.

I value your openness and honesty. I am so glad you have people you trust in your life.

Much love and respect flow from my corner of the world to you. 💕

[nadahmekhlef]

Each time my mother forced my sister to - not to take her medication she gets worse .
She told my sister this is kind of magic or evil eyes...
This is from her culture in middle east country.
I think on of the best achievements in scientific studies they discovered medication 💊 for schizophrenia to let people live in peace.