My Boyfriend of 4 Years Won’t Talk About Marriage

My Boyfriend of 4 Years Won’t Talk About Marriage

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[suz]

Back in the day I dated a guy for 3 years. We used to hang out with his brother and brother's girlfriend - they had been together 7 years with no marriage in sight. Brother's girlfriend decided to call it quits - then brother was married to another girl within 1 year. That caused me to have the hard conversation with my boyfriend. He didn't want to get married (not the right time, wanted to wait until the end of my residency, etc.). I walked and he was married within the year. If he's not marrying you, there is a reason. Don't fall for the BS.

[lisacraft]

When my fiance proposed to me, I asked him, "When do you want to marry me?". His response, " Yesterday.". Thats what you want. Not a lot of excuses.

[kengy]

It upsets him to TALK about marriage?! Girl, you need to walk away now.

[smj]

As a man, if a man is dating and sleeping with you for years without proposing, he thinks he deserves better.

[GabrielMartinez-sdpc]

"we're basically married..."

No. You're basically not.

[parkwood]

Boyfriend gets upset when she brings up marriage because he's getting exactly what he wants. That conversation upsets his apple cart. He's already let her know he doesn't want marriage, she doesn't want to listen.

[buffymcmuffin]

I heard of a 30 year-old gal who wanted kids, but boyfriend wasn't ready. 10 years went by. Now boyfriend wanted kids, so he dumped her (she's 40 now) and went to a 30 year old gal to have kids with. Cautionary tale.

[sofiarangel]

When she said they “knocked out debt together” I already knew she’s his come up woman. He’s using her to save money and when he has enough in the bank, he’s leaving her for the woman he really wants. Sorry to say.

[wonder]

Men marry who they want, but they will stay with who makes things comfortable and convenient until they find who they want. Period.

[booksindemand]

If he doesn't want to marry you after 4 years you're what's called a placeholder. Sad but true

[razmiddle]

Oh honey. You know the answer - you're a forever-girlfriend and when you eventually get frustrated and dump him, he'll marry the next woman.

[musiccrazy]

Sis, you're a placeholder. He doesn't want to marry you, if he did, he WOULD. It's time to move on.

[melanieschafer]

If he won’t marry you after 4 years, he will never do it. I was with a guy for 12 years and this guy still didn’t want to marry me. Never wait that long for a guy.

[marybroussard]

My daughter dated a guy for 10 yrs. She wanted to get married and he wouldn't commit. She met a guy who treated her like a princess during CV-19. She broke up with her boyfriend (I was so glad). She and the new boyfriend got married in 2023 and everyone loves him. He treats our daughter so good and she is fiercely protective of him. She is now happy and in a healthy relationship.

[kristinrichmond]

When a man wants to marry you, he will ask you to marry him. Look at what he does, not what he says.

[allyshalibre]

Take it from someone who’s been with their “fiance” for almost 12 years. We’ve been engaged for almost 3 years and now we have a 6 month old. Now I feel stuck and stupid for wasting my own time. I don’t know how to get out now. I deserve better and I know it. Just leave while it’s easier than my situation.

[stephaniesmith]

Get out, get out, get out. If he hasn’t proposed, it means he doesn’t think you’re the “one”. I was in a relationship exactly like this for almost 10 years and then met my husband who wanted to marry me almost immediately after we met. You are worth so much more than that. How dare he not want to marry you! My biggest regret is not getting married until I was 39 and having such a short time line for having children. You only get one life... do not let some stupid boyfriend waste your time.

[jordynvalenzuela]

I had an ex with the same attitude. We argued about it constantly it made me so angry. Thankfully, we didn’t live together and I eventually broke it off. Now I am married to the love of my life, pregnant with our first child, and couldn’t be happier. Girl, move on. There is someone way better out there who will love you enough to commit to you.

[caitlankelly]

I dated 2 men seriously in my 20’s(at different times 19-21, 22-24). Neither could be swayed to marry me. I met my would be husband at 27, he asked me to marry him after 2 months, we have been married 7 years with 2 kids. My point, it happens quickly when it’s meant to be, no begging or wondering necessary.

[viviennedunbar]

When I met my husband I thought he just wanted a fling and I wasn’t interested, we became really good friends for a few months.Then on a road-trip with friends he took me aside and told me he was madly in love with me and wanted us to try dating. I was very shocked as had no idea his feelings were that strong (I knew he had the hots for me but that’s not the same). So when we got back from our trip we started dating and 3 weeks later he proposed and took me to buy a ring. We married within 12 months of meeting and have been very happily married 27 years. He is still crazy about me. When a man wants to he locks you down fast.