How to Get Married

Getting married is a hugely significant and solemn step: for centuries, we did it under the guidance of religion, but nowadays, for many of us, faith no longer convinces. At the same time, we want to mark marriage with some kind of ritual and appropriate grandeur. That's why the School of Life has redesigned the wedding ceremony, to bring it in line with modern ideals and the best insights of psychology.

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Khyan Mansley

[annycui]

We just modeled our wedding based on this video :D We got married on Aug 18, 2018.

[ruiningwang]

There's nothing more romantic than rational mutual understanding!

[CXY]

This is a good thought, but I can't help but think it seems rather...clinical

[acrius]

That was actually strange, but it still makes more sense than any conventional wedding I've seen.

[doctordolldesigns]

"I will choose to love the broken child within you..." Truly beautiful words

[jbillson]

The exchanging of photographs of when they were children, and the speech after it evoked quite a strong sense of understanding (of other people) for me.

[loquatmuncher]

This feels more like a support group than a wedding, especially when the audience talks in unison lol.

"Hi, my name is Emily, and I am an idiot sandwich."
"Hulloo, Emily. We are idiot sandwiches too"

[KeiraR]

This made me cry... the part where they exchanged pictures of themselves as children and said their vows after that... Oh my god. This is beautiful.

[kaistevens]

This is so important. Weddings aren't about decorations. They're about people.
And struggle. And coming together.

[Amina]

I am single right now but I've decided that I will let my future partner watch this video once the relationship gets serious and we consider getting married. Let's see what kind of reaction I will get! That should tell a lot. :) Thanks for such a brilliant idea!

[injujuan]

My first reaction was like omg cheesy stuff but when the couple exchanged promises to treat the failed and broken person in there with kindness I was moved

[DivoGo]

Just a thought. If all marriage ceremonies were like this, nobody would get married. This ceremony is very deep and intimate. Not for the faint of heart. Would I have a ceremony like this? You bet your sweet ass I

[StandingLeaf]

It's a neat idea to have a marriage that will underline what could go wrong in their couple to attempt of making them prepared of the challenges they will face by been together, BUT I feel it is equally important to also underline the good aspects too. After all, they don't get married just to know each other's faults, but also share the good moments of living.

[SciencewithKatie]

This is really interesting, I wonder how the idea of marriage and weddings will change in the future. Most of the people I know that have gotten married recently don’t have any ties with religion, but have gone along with their parents wishes/religious beliefs. It would be interesting to see what happens a few generations down the line when people don’t feel like they have to follow their parents beliefs - if their parents don’t believe in anything.

[curtismmichaels]

I officiate weddings on occasion. The basic ceremony I have written, from which each couple is invited to create their own addresses some of this, but nowhere near so profoundly or clearly as you have. This is beautiful.

[LisztyLiszt]

Wow. This is like a Catholic wedding, but rather than proclaiming that all humans are wretched sinners in a distant, almost anonymous way, the guilt and shame of this ceremony is bespoke. Kudos!

[MiraSumanti]

That book of imperfection should be a compulsory exchanged items at any wedding!

[RoadPickle]

We are getting married (again) in two weeks. After 7 years together we've learned so much about each other and ourselves. We've worked so hard at healing and understanding, compassion and humility. I'm so pleased I found this video. We're going to incorporate this into our wedding. Thank you!

[zainsheikh]

Just want to say I have really enjoyed the School of Life content, I don't agree with everything but I always find it thought provoking and learn something new, which should be the hope of any discourse :)

[hirasawa]

I like the humility part and it can be added into some part of the vows but not the whole part of it... it is as if like they keep reminding you over and over again how imperfect and broken you are like life does not remind you enough... It's kind of dejecting.